2 April is World Autism Day. Many people will know april 1 as fun April Fool's Day, but few people pay attention to the fact that the next day is a caring day for groups that may not be so interesting.
Autism, aka autism, comes from the stars of children. The patient's symptoms are like the name of the disease, they want to shut themselves down, and they can't interact normally with other people or even their families.
This group is not a minority, with one in every 100 children with autism. There are 3 million children with autism spectrum disorder in children aged 0-18 years on the mainland.
This pain, in addition to the patients themselves, will also spread to their parents. Parents cannot accept the fact that their children are so special and do not know how to help their children. It doesn't matter, but please accompany them, please don't give up on them, they need your company more than ordinary children.
1
"You can never really get to know a person unless you walk around in his shoes," as it is for patients with special diseases
The female protagonist had a car accident late at night, the male protagonist and uncle rushed to the hospital, and the doctor said: Check it out, she is not in serious trouble. She was asleep now, and given that she didn't want to take painkillers, sleep was very important to her, as was it for her doctor. I suggest you come back in the morning, okay?
The uncle said to the man: We need to leave someone behind.
Uncle has experienced war, he said: The heroine used to work as an intelligence officer, do you know what an intelligence officer does? Go to poor areas to make people trust her, and then you may betray these people again. Do you think it's okay for her to drive out late at night?
I've been through war and it's been 50 years and I haven't come out. Think about the first time you found me, what was in front of me? A handful of qiang.
The male protagonist listened to his uncle's words and decided to stay, after all, the female protagonist was a friend he cared about.
The man waited for one night, as his uncle said, but didn't ask anything. Entering the ward in the morning, he was only quietly accompanied.
The heroine finally spoke out about her situation: she always couldn't sleep at night, especially when she was alone. The child is going back to be with her ex-husband. She waited for the child to fall asleep, and drove aimlessly into the wilderness, driving faster and faster, and hit the railing.
"To Kill a Mockingbird" writes, "You can never really get to know a man unless you walk around in his shoes." ”
The male protagonist cannot experience the inner pain of the female protagonist who has experienced the war, so he cannot really understand how much this harm will be, but he can know that she is sad and can accompany her, which is already the greatest comfort.
In fact, many mental illnesses or emotional problems are also the same. For example, adolescent depression, maternal postpartum depression, autistic people, you may not understand their behavior or emotional flashpoints, but they very much want family and friends to be by their side.
2
13-year-old autistic child self-report: We are not what you think, you have a deep misunderstanding of us
"I Want to Fly into the Sky" is written by Naoki Higashida, a 13-year-old child with severe autism, which shows people the inner world of real autistic children.
Naoki Higashida was unfortunate to be diagnosed with severe autism at the age of 5 and was unable to utter a complete sentence. He was also fortunate that his mother had been with him and had created for him the alphabet that he could express himself to, and he also used it to communicate with the world.
The book shows a different side of autistic children that we don't know, many of which may be different from what we imagined, which also gives caregivers of autistic children a lot of help.
The first big misconception: "I don't like to be alone"
Many people will say to the autistic person, "Don't worry about him, he prefers to be alone." ”
Naoki Higashida said, "We want to be with others. But because things never went well, we slowly got used to being alone, without even realizing the process. Whenever I accidentally hear someone comment on how much I like to be alone, I feel extremely lonely inside, as if someone else has deliberately snubbed us. ”
Perhaps others dare not or are unwilling to accompany autistic children, but as a parent, try to accompany your children as much as possible, so that their hearts are not so afraid and lonely.
The second big misconception: "It's not that I don't feel the pain of the caregiver, if you are stressed, I will be more miserable"
When the caregiver says, "It's really tiring to take care of these kids, you know!" "You can't imagine that children with autism will feel more pain when they hear such words.
Naoki Higashida pleaded, "I beg you, those who spend all day with us, not to feel stressed because of us. When you are stressed, we feel like you are denying all the parents we may have in our lives – and this cuts off our desire to continue to rise to the occasion. For us, the greatest torment is seeing ourselves cause so much pain to others. We can cope well with our own difficulties, but we can't bear that our existence has become a burden on others. ”
The collapse of an adult can be crying or screaming or getting angry, while the collapse of an autistic child may be self-harming, overwhelmed, and a direct cut off from the future.
It is difficult to be gentle all the time, so please do not show your pain in front of these children who have not made mistakes and are born like this, and show their desperate expressions because their children have done something wrong.
The third big misconception: "We are not without your delicate and complex feelings"
Naoki Higashida told everyone: "We will experience the same emotions as you. Because we can't express ourselves very well, we will actually be more sensitive than you. My emotions cannot be expressed normally, my limbs are not very obedient to the brain, and survival itself is a challenge. And it is this feeling of helplessness that makes us almost crazy, and then we feel panic and mental breakdown. ”
Parents and friends, when encountering autistic children panicking, nervous breakdown, may be more flustered.
Stay by their side, look at them tenderly, and let them cry and vent. If they are in deep pain and cannot extricate themselves, please stop them and prevent them from hurting themselves or others.
3
"I want to fly into the sky"
Naoki Higashida said in the afterword of the book: "I hope that after reading my explanations of autism and some questions, you will slowly understand that the difficulties we face do not stem from our selfishness or arrogance. If you can understand it, it is equivalent to giving us a ray of hope. No matter how much hardship and suffering autism brings to our lives, we can cope with it if we have hope. ”
The title of the book is actually very good: "I want to fly into the sky", the child is plagued by diseases, but because of the mother's love and companionship, the future is always full of hope.
Autism, adolescent depression, and postpartum depression may not be uncommon in today's society. But many people still scoff, thinking that it is just impossible to control emotions, but they are "doing", but their lives are too comfortable, but they do not know that they are suffering from great mental and physical pain, and they are struggling to get themselves back to the normal track of life.
But the ridicule and ridicule, complaints and blows of relatives and friends may be the last straw that crushes them, and what they may seek is not to "fly into the sky", but to "fly into heaven"!
We learn to understand them, it may be difficult to really understand, then please accompany them, tell them: "we are still there", this is already the best encouragement and forced needle!
Life is not easy, and for these children from the stars, it will be even more difficult to walk.
The world is more tolerant and more respectful, helping them to find their way home, and no longer staring at their strange behavior or clothing matching. Perhaps, these children and their families will thank you with tears!
(Some of the pictures are from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the original author)