The ancients had a saying: "If you can't afford it, you can hide it." ”
In the jianghu, you and I need to face countless right and wrong and contradictions. At this time, whether we understand how to resolve or not depends on our own ability and wisdom.
People who know how to avoid contradictions between right and wrong, even if they are mixed up badly, can be safe and stable, at least in their old age.
And those who do not know how to avoid contradictions, even if they are rich and powerful, and their ability is extremely strong, it is difficult to settle down until old age. At the very least, there will be countless "people are not human" bothering them.
I like this sentence very much: "People do not say good or bad before, and people do not care whether people are right or wrong." ”
In front of others, we must not say whether others are good or bad, we just need to know it. Behind others, we just need to maintain the posture of "hanging high without caring about ourselves" and not discuss the rights and wrongs of others.
In particular, the middle-aged and elderly people who are almost retired cannot make the behavior of "begging for help".
Before retirement, people who are really good at life will "avoid" these few things in time to prevent accidents.
01
Before retiring, you can't "make too many enemies."
For people to deal with the world, we must have a strategy, that is, "turn enemies into friends, do not make enemies."
If the other party is our opponent, then we may as well become their friends, and never become enemies with others. If the other person is our friend, then we should cherish the relationship.
In this regard, many people will wonder, being a person can only take care of themselves, why should they avoid making enemies?
One more enemy, the more right and wrong you will have. And one less enemy, you will have fewer right and wrong. Sometimes, "right and wrong" do not appear out of thin air, but we provoke ourselves.
Less trouble, or even no trouble, that is the choice of the wise man.
Regarding the matter of "making enemies", we only need to look at Liu Bowen.
Before Liu Bowen retired, he had offended the powerful Hu Weiyong. In this way, Hu Weiyong has been blowing the wind in Zhu Yuanzhang's ear, saying that Liu Bowen has bad intentions and even plots rebellion. This laid the groundwork for the misery of the second half of Liu Bowen's life.
Even the famous Liu Bowen was unlucky because of "making enemies", let alone an ordinary person?
For ordinary people, try to make fewer enemies, even if you shoot and scatter with each other, don't become enemies.
02
Don't be "nosy" until you retire.
There is a saying in the "Augmented Sage Text": "Don't say anything when you hear things, don't know what you ask, don't take care of idle things, and return early when you have nothing to do." ”
When we hear something, we must not say it. When people ask us some secrets, we will eventually keep our mouths shut. For idle people, let's leave it alone, and go home early when there is nothing to do.
In fact, in the matter of "no matter what is idle", we must do "ignore idle things outside and pretend to be confused on the inside."
If we are still working in the unit, for certain things, we should not be too attached, open one eye, close one eye, then it will be enough. Even when we get home, we might as well pretend to be confused.
Just think, you always like to take care of other people's business, then you can't even "retire smoothly"?
Just think, you always like to take care of the business of your children and grandchildren, so can your relationship with your children and grandchildren be good?
Outsiders and family members, their humanity is similar. In this regard, we must be shrewd in the matter of "pretending to be confused" and must not do "thankless" things.
In the middle and late years, the greatest wisdom is to know what to do and what not to do.
03
Before retiring, don't "cling" too deeply.
The most taboo thing for people is excessive attachment.
The so-called "one thought is persistent, and everything is destroyed." A thought to let go, the vicissitudes of the mulberry field. ”
Excessive attachment will only make life "dark". For example, if you are attached to fame and fortune, clinging to power, and clinging to your position, are you really happy in the second half of your life?
There is such a director, who suffered from depression at the age of 59 and retired a year early to go home to recuperate.
The reason why the director suffered from depression was because he cared too much about his current position and did not want the connections around him to dissipate. He couldn't think of it, and he also suffered from mental illness.
When people reach middle age, don't worry too much. In old age, don't pay too much attention to gains and losses.
For example, fame and fortune, since we are going to retire, let fame and fortune disappear, and we can't take it away. So, why are we so persistent?
Attachment may seem like a good thing, but at its end, it is paranoia. And paranoia is precisely a "harmful" behavior that will eventually make us miserable.
04
Before retirement, don't have a psychology of dependence.
In Chinese society, parents have a concept of "raising children and preventing old age". And this kind of concept will make people develop a psychology of dependence, which is not a good thing.
There is a saying that "by everyone running, by the trees falling, by the flow of water." ”
Since no one can be trusted, what should we do? There is no way, you can only rely on yourself. Perhaps, relying on oneself is a person's greatest confidence and wisdom.
When we were young, we started on our own, supported our families on our own, and persevered even if it was particularly difficult. In middle age, we struggled on our own and avoided many risks.
In our later years, we should adhere to the concept of "relying on ourselves", not only to set an example for our children and grandchildren, but also to let ourselves live with "dignity". Just think, who wants to live more and more undignified?
When people are old, they want to become self-respecting and self-reliant. This is not because we don't believe in our children, but because we don't want to cause them trouble and give ourselves a guarantee. At least, living on your own will be more elegant and free.
Wen/Shushan has deer