After reading her shameful story, I broke through

Have you seen such a topic on Weibo recently?

#妈妈, will you still love me if I turn into a bread dog? #

Many netizens shared the warm words of their mothers to reply to themselves:

In a quiet comment area, there was a mother's answer, but let everyone shout straight out.

"You are a child with ideals, how can you become a bread dog?"

It's the subtext we're familiar with:

Whatever you become, it's mom's child. But how can you allow yourself to be like that?

The mother expects you, but not like that.

There is always a difference between the you your mother expects and the real you, which is also the root of the pain of many people's growth.

And this pain, in recent times, was filmed by a new Pixar work -

The Metamorphosis of Youth

。

This is a story directed by a Chinese female director, the content is very simple, about a Chinese girl who is beautiful and beautiful, and suddenly has the ability to transform into a red panda when puberty arrives.

The plot also revolves around the girl's journey from resisting the transformation to finally deciding to accept the transformation.

In fact, it is still the traditional Disney self-search routine, but it has set off a very high discussion in China.

Countless netizens hit in the bullet screen

"The World Makes Me"

, acting as the tap water for this film on major social software.

In the comments section of a certain flap, there is a comment that has received thousands of approvals:

"Probably only children from East Asian families can empathize, because each of us needs to apologize for failing our mothers."

The red red panda in the Metamorphosis of Youth looks very cute at first glance, and it hurts to look at it carefully.

The film actually opened with a lot of joy.

The protagonist, Meimei, is what most people look like when they were students.

Study hard, pursue beautiful grades, have a sense of responsibility, and be willing to help your mother share the housework.

She is obedient, but also has her own small independent space.

He would play with his friends at school and secretly discuss handsome boys in private.

She has a Chinese mother like us, who will prepare delicious meals for her children and do housework with her children.

Often gentle and occasionally harsh

It seems that this is a very happy parent-child relationship, but if you taste it carefully, you will find that

Under the intimate and warm relationship between mother and daughter, there are actually many kinds of depressing moments hidden.

For example, Meimei, who was ten minutes late at home, was asked three times in a row by her mother:

Isn't this just a Chinese mother who cares about overprotectiveness? Ten minutes is only that, and traffic delays are more than that time.

The way to show concern for your child is always to prepare to eat and discuss learning.

Of course, whether you are hungry or not is just a casual sentence, and the results of the subsequent inquiry are the main purpose.

Only when you hear a satisfactory answer, you will give you unceasing praise, and finally add another sentence of outlook for the future.

Another example is to comment on the child's preferences without hesitation.

How familiar is this picture! The advertisement of the idol group was broadcast on the TV, and Meimei stared at the back, but her mother was dismissive:

"Who would like these little lepers?"

Meimei, who tried to change her mother's mind, had to use "I have a friend" as an excuse to carefully test it.

As a result, not only did not wait for the mother's change of heart, but also waited for the mother's negative judgment of the friend.

Of course, in the face of her mother's discipline and control, Meimei also has some of her own tricks.

For example, only show your mother the side of your good daughter, and then hide your own little problems.

So we will see that the beauty in school and the state at home are almost the same as two people.

At school, she talked to her friends, laughed loudly and exchanged small notes without scruples.

When I got home, I carefully closed the door and only under my bed would I be myself.

Whose girlhood did not have this beautiful secret space in the family?

There may be diary of handsome boys, volumes of bad grades, posters of idols, and girl magazines full of Mary Sue literature...

There are all the secrets that dare not be known by our mothers, and it is the place reserved by our little hearts.

Over-interfering mothers, children who do everything possible to avoid their mother's control, this is the daily life of Chinese parents and Chinese children who are busy fleeing surveillance.

We who are not yet adults actually know very well for a long time:

We have freedom, but this freedom has a premise called "mother satisfaction."

If the tug between mother and daughter only goes on here, it can probably continue to be calm.

But there's always something that happens that upsets that balance, like—

adolescence

The cartoon makes an interesting setting for the arrival of adolescence.

After her mother looked through her diary, the indignant Meimei transformed into a huge red panda.

This red panda symbolizes the first menarche of a young girl, representing the transformation of beauty from a girl to a young girl, and both physical and psychological changes have begun.

It is also a metaphor for the true beauty that is hidden

She longs for friends, loses her temper, pursues popularity, and has a small curiosity about the opposite sex.

And the relaxed atmosphere of the story also took a sharp turn at this moment.

Worried about Meimei's emotions, the mother wears sunglasses to the school to monitor Meimei's status.

When he was discovered by the security guards, he not only shouted out Meimei's name, but also unabashedly shouted out the term that was enough to make the teenage girl die.

sanitary towel

With the uproar of his classmates, the secret of the growth of adolescence, Dengshi became a well-known laughing stock.

Since then, Beauty has changed.

She could no longer tolerate her mother's constant attention and control, and began to question her mother's decision.

Of course, like every one of us in adolescence, despite our dissatisfaction, Meimei has no courage to speak of a just rebellion.

Because, although sometimes my mother makes us sad, she loves us so sincerely.

So there is patience and compromise again and again:

Dragged by her mother in front of the heartwarming boy, Meimei first condemned herself: How can you think about those obscene things, you should not live up to your mother's expectations.

When her mother refused her to go to a concert and called her idol a bunch of garbage, she sighed and said," All right.

When her mother accused her friend of being a bad boy in person, she did not dare to resist her mother's authority, and could only hide silently behind her mother, avoiding her friend's disappointed expression.

But repression can only anesthetize for a while, but it is impossible to truly change people's thoughts, and the more hidden and repressive they accumulate, the more they will only bring deception and outbreaks.

"If I try to be a good kid, but I still can't be trusted, then what's the point?"

Finally, Meimei had an emotional breakdown at the ceremony of her mother exorcising the red panda for herself.

Despite her mother's obstruction, she rushed to find friends and swayed at the concert together.

Her mother rushes to stop her, and for the first time, Meimei argues with her desperately, forcing her to accept that she has become a red panda.

In her heart, it was protecting her true self.

Sadly, after this series of rebellious acts of desperation, Meimei will still be very afraid.

Because when she sees her mother's disappointed eyes, she will uncontrollably blame and regret herself.

Isn't that what we look like when we face mom control?

We don't approve of their approach and don't want to clash with our mothers, but there are always moments when we can't help but erupt.

But when it breaks out, we feel sorry from the bottom of our hearts.

We can't dislike the mother who loves us, so we can only hate the self that makes her mother angry.

I'm sorry she spent so much effort cultivating me, but I still didn't become the child she wanted.

To be honest, the Chinese-style mother-child relationship is a topic with a long history and difficult to explain.

Many times, our relationship with our father is a binary choice of rebellion or submission, either the east wind overwhelms the west wind, or the west wind overwhelms the east wind.

But we have a deeper emotional connection with our mother.

We are surrounded by the warmth of our mother and grow up in her love. But we are controlled by this love because it does so many things that go against our hearts and even plays the role of the person we don't want to be.

It was a warm kidnapping, and most of our mothers had been such kidnappers.

At the end of the film, Meimei travels back to her mother's girlhood and discovers that her mother was also the girl who wept quietly against her mother's wishes.

The dragon slayer eventually becomes a dragon.

As Teacher Chen Lidan said:

"Every Chinese grows up with excessive involvement of their parents, and when they grow up, they will be overly involved in the growth of their children." 」

It is undeniable that this close mother-daughter relationship has its own good side.

But it also brings us unavoidable pain.

The mother holds a carving knife and sculpts the child into the look of expectation, but in this process, no one can actually feel real happiness.

Sculpted children because

"Looking forward to"

Irresistibly and repressively painful, the person holding the carving knife in his hand also has a hard time experiencing the pleasure of exercising his rights, but instead continues

"Trimming"

The child is in pain under the pressure of the branches.

So what do we do?

The film doesn't give us a ready-made methodology.

It's still a Disney animation routine—

Use fantasy endings to resolve conflicts.

In the ending, Meimei reached an understanding with her mother through crossing, and then successfully received an apology from her mother and successfully released herself.

This problem-solving method is not new, and in recent years, almost all film and television works with intergenerational conflicts have used similar routines.

Hello Li Huanying, Survival Family, Dream Quest, Youth Metamorphosis...

These stories are very touching, but they also make people feel a deep helplessness -

Are all the problems in family relations perfectly resolved by crossing, by death, and by the end of the world?

In reality, we can't show our true selves by turning into red pandas, nor can we communicate with our mothers through crossing or dying.

Most people, when faced with contradictions and conflicts, can only pretend to be ostriches to escape and shelve, waiting for time for us to be relieved.

This is the easiest way, but it does not solve the problem.

Escape cannot be exchanged for understanding, on the contrary, it will only create a cycle of regret.

The mother does not understand how she can be resented by the child, and the child eventually becomes more and more like the mother she hates.

Finally, none of us can wait for a word of apology;

In the end, the battered room in our hearts is only visible to ourselves.

So we still have to take a step forward, not only for ourselves, but also for the people we love.

The highlight of the film in my heart is to refuse to strip away the beauty of the red panda, and in the face of my mother in the mirror, I carefully but firmly said that sentence:

I don't want to be you.

I think this is probably our best solution to the problem of "getting rid of mom's expectations":

Go be brave and tell your mother!

Tell her we all have our own lives, and I'm here for you, but not for you.

Go brave and help Mom!

Help her find her own interesting world, let her know: your joys and sorrows, can not be just because of me.

Then, when we become moms ourselves, don't let those repressions repeat themselves in our next generation.

See regrets, face regrets.

I think that's the point of this movie, or all of these kinds of movies.