After being a full-time mother for three years, now that the baby has enrolled in school, he has returned to the workplace, has a new understanding in parenting, kindergarten, family, marriage, emotions, etc., and is still the mother who likes to share, hoping to share more topics that can collide with sparks and dry goods with babies...
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Some netizens left messages saying that I often speak for women, which is really unfair.
I am a mother, many times it is easy to look at the problem from the perspective of women, but today I want to jump out, from the perspective of the majority of male compatriots, to analyze some problems, hoping to let mothers objectively look at marriage, family and children's education.
Who doesn't want to give their children the best education? But the premise is that there are conditions
When it comes to the education of children, our mothers, the idea is basically the same, we agree with the impact of the environment on people, but also agree with the environment to bring a series of reactions to a child, so we hope to be able to let the child receive a better education from an early age, hope that the children are surrounded by positive children, hope that the parents of the children around the children are particularly concerned about the children's education problems.
But the premise is that there are conditions to choose a better school for the child and a better environment for the child.
In fact, many times, men are rational, they are more willing to have long-term considerations, women may be relatively rational.
Shanshan and her husband is a typical family case, Shanshan is a more emotional post-90s girl, she attaches more importance to the current life, hope to have a relatively high quality of life, before having a baby her husband is the same, so the two people married for a few years, without any savings, bought a house in a fourth-tier small city, rented a house in a big city.
The two people basically belong to the "Moonlight Family", this month's salary is still last month's credit card, and there is no money left throughout the year.
I once reminded her: "You are about to have children, or you still have to plan a little, you can't spend as much as you want, your children's education is a big expense, you have to plan in advance." ”
At that time, she did not listen at all, and later after having a baby, I reminded her again, but whenever she thought about it, she still thought of a higher quality of life.
Her husband is a good person, has always centered on her, and the money earned is also given to her.
However, she is still not satisfied, and sometimes on some special holidays, such as Tanabata and Valentine's Day, she sends some words to express her dissatisfaction with her lover.
She has not worked since she became pregnant, and after having a baby, she is reluctant to have children and does not want to go to work.
Income decreased, but the expenses increased, so the husband complained more, especially when it came to repaying the credit card, the complaint was more, every month to pay the car loan, pay the credit card, the salary went down a large half, but also to rent, but also to live, every month is tight.
When the child entered the school, several children around her entered the bilingual kindergarten with relatively high tuition fees, and she also wanted to let the child enter the bilingual kindergarten, but the husband did not agree with this practice from reality, and the two people had several emotions for this.
Shanshan said that the relationship between them has deteriorated, and she feels that her husband no longer cares about her as much as before. Once two people quarreled, the friends were alarmed, her husband a meter eight big man cried and said: "I work alone, a month of ten thousand pieces of salary, with a child she can not rest assured that the child, do not want to go to work, I understand, but since the income is limited, the cost becomes larger, we are talking about whether you can save a little, the child's food and drink, wear, must buy good, her skin care products to buy good, clothes to buy good, children want to go to school, money!" Where does the money come from, I'm under a lot of pressure, the pressure is too much..."
Children's education should start from reality, so that children can grow up healthily
When it comes to raising children, it can be very economical, just like our parents, when they were young, they were several brothers and sisters, and the big ones took care of the small ones, and the parents still worked. The family did not have much income and could only support a few children.
However, raising children can also be a bottomless pit, and schools with tuition fees of tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, and millions of dollars a year are available.
If the family conditions are good, of course, you can choose a good school for your child, but if the family conditions are average, you still have to choose a school that the family can afford.
From a child's point of view, this is also the best option. When parents send their children to an aristocratic school with all their might, they must save money, because the tuition fee alone has overwhelmed the parents, but the other students in the school can work effortlessly, they can not only go to a good school, but also easily enjoy a high quality of life.
This kind of gap in detail is the most likely to hurt a child whose mind is not yet mature.
From the perspective of family relations, a family without any financial pressure is more likely to be harmonious and happy, and the relationship between husband and wife is more likely to be harmonious. If the economic pressure of the family is relatively large, the emotions of the two people are easy to tense, and the family relationship is tense all the time, which is not conducive to the harmony of the family and the stability of the relationship between husband and wife.
The greatest happiness is that the child is healthy and safe
"People are more popular than dead people", having a stronger heart is not a bad thing, but if you can't adjust your mentality, always riveting enough to compare with others, it is not a good thing.
When we were young, we always heard the word "to be strong", at that time adults took "to be strong" as the glory, now this word in parenting, is not a positive meaning, to guide children to be positive is certain, but there is no need to let children compete with others.
For children, the greatest happiness is health and peace, it is already very good to be able to become a parent- person, if you can be slightly better than your parents, living conditions are slightly improved, it is even happier.
We should adjust the goal of educating children, can not always think that the child is destined to become an "extraordinary person", or hope that the child has a strong relationship, if from the beginning to hold such a method, the child is not easy to grow up happily, nor is it easy to have a sound personality, and finally it affects the growth of the child.
On the contrary, when we adjust the goal and let the child become a simple and happy person with a sound personality, the child is more likely to stimulate personal talent and grow up in a better direction.