Author/Child
When two people get married, they have already established a new family, and the development and operation of this family in the future must be inseparable from each other's common protection.
This, like rowing a boat, requires two people to work together, and their hearts and strength are going in the same direction to keep the boat moving forward. Otherwise, it may be like sailing against the current, and if you don't advance, you will retreat.
Naturally, in all aspects of life, we must pay more attention.
The greatest decay of a family is not to be poor, but to tell 3 secrets to outsiders.
01. The economic income of the family;
A family's economic income, never go outside to say, whether you have more money or less money, it is your own business, talk too much, it is always easy to attract some unnecessary trouble.
If your economic income is good, go to outsiders to emphasize these things, especially relatives, maybe you are in the spirit of sharing, you have made money and happy, so you don't have any heart, just say it, but in others, you don't necessarily think so.
First, the so-called people's hearts are separated from the belly, and you don't know what others think. People are jealous, and there are only a few people in this world who really want you to live well. You tell others, everyone is happy for you on the surface, the true intention in the heart, will not tell you at all, so as not to offend people behind their backs; second, the so-called wealth is not exposed, let outsiders know your family's economic situation, lest someone come to the door to borrow money, then borrow or not borrow, it is easy to lead to some new contradictions, not cost-effective;
Moreover, if your economic income is average or even relatively poor, you always go to outsiders to complain about the real situation, so as not to affect your image in the hearts of outsiders.
The mutual respect between people is mainly derived from a certain sense of distance and mystery, no matter how good friends are, the less outsiders know, the more respect for you should be maintained. When you talk too much and reveal too much embarrassment to yourself, it will inevitably affect other people's attitudes towards you.
These are some of the things that have really happened in real life.
02. Contradictions between husband and wife;
There are many contradictions between husband and wife and various discord, there is a particularly classic sentence, bedside fight and bedside, originally this is a matter of two people, which is a matter of right and wrong, in the premise of two people with feelings to understand, there are many differences.
However, if you tell outsiders about these things, it may not be so simple.
Because the position of outsiders is completely different, the emotions of outsiders are particularly rational, and they are not mixed with any feelings, so they evaluate a thing, with an absolute view of right and wrong, right is right, wrong is wrong, there is no middle ground, and the criticism is merciless.
Therefore, a lot of things about the two of you, you always tell outsiders, want to listen to the opinions of outsiders, and even use this to vent your emotions, the final result is mostly to aggravate your negative emotions, and you will naturally become more and more disappointed in this relationship.
That's why when you listen to other people's stories, it's always easy to hate iron and steel, thinking that since this person has said that the other party has no sense of value and existence, why is it still not separated, and still chooses to constantly consume the patience and relationship of two people in such a relationship. That's because for you, all you see is the bad situation told by others, but in fact, for each other, no matter how bad the reality is, even in the glass slag, there may be a certain amount of sugar, and this sugar will affect their mood and judgment. After all, people are emotional animals, there are also seven passions and six desires, most people can not really get rid of a relationship in a very short period of time, they have paid time and effort, even if they want to leave, it will take a certain amount of time to buffer.
Therefore, the contradictions between husband and wife, but if you still have the heart to go down, don't go around saying it, the less you say, the more stable your relationship will be.
Moreover, there is no empathy between people, you tell these things to your good friends and even some relatives, the original intention is to seek some comfort, in fact, there are very few people who can really understand your mood, most people always stand on the position of not caring about themselves, may sigh for you at the time, but after that your thing will always be only yourself in all kinds of entanglements and sadness.
As for others, these are just some of the occasional after-dinner talk, and you may also become someone else's "I have a friend" series.
03. Regarding the shortcomings of the other party;
You have to understand a sentence, no one is perfect, anyone who lives together for a long time, you will find a lot of shortcomings and deficiencies, this is a normal phenomenon.
In the days when two people live together, what is needed is mutual tolerance and understanding, in order to go through many years of the rest of their lives. Otherwise, if it is purely provocative, no one will have a good evaluation.
About the shortcomings of the other half, really do not go to the outsiders to say, in fact, between husband and wife, is a common impression, is a situation of prosperity and loss, you go to the outsiders to say the other half of the bad words, in other words, hit your own face, you think that the outsider's unevenness, is for your sake, do not know that after a long time, others may not even look at you.
Of course, this transition between emotions, which others will certainly not tell you, is the nature of most people. At no time, try to challenge humanity. Understand this truth, whether it is life and work or love, it can often become much smoother.
Home is the home of the two of you, some problems can only be solved at home, of course, the occasional spit is fine, after all, people sometimes hide words in their hearts, which is also not conducive to their emotions. But remember not to become Xianglin sister-in-law, talk endlessly, talk more, the nature of things often changes. Many times, the key to really solving things is actually only the two of you.
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