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The following three are anonymous questions from the three girls in the dog food group in the knowledge planet for two consecutive days.
The theme is the same.
They are all thin-skinned girls, who obviously want to let the other party take the initiative and pay a little more, but they can't pass this pass in their mentality.
If the other party really takes the initiative, he will find various reasons to push the other party away.
See if there's you inside.
One:
Toot, I was in the group asking if I wanted to tell the blind date on my birthday.
I had hinted that my birthday was in recent days, and then today we went out to meet, and it happened to be talking about my birthday at dinner, but there was no reaction from the blind date.
When he was eating and shopping, he said as he walked: Your birthday is coming, do you want to go to the store to see and buy you something?
I said: Don't be so polite.
Then he was gone.
Is it because he is polite, so he thinks I refuse, or is he unwilling to give?
honk:
I suggest that you don't have to be polite after doing something deliberately in the future.
It's completely your own pot.
The next time you encounter such a thing, you will simply say: Are you so good to me? So happy.
What do you want to buy me?
I'll give you a gift next time it's your birthday.
You yourself are here to guide investment, it is not easy to get this step, you yourself have scared people back, after you go back, people will definitely get cheap to sell well - she said no.
Eat a long and wise one. People are not so familiar with you, we were originally to guide investment, let him increase his efforts.
Are you counting on the other person to lick like a licking dog and buy you a gift?
You obviously politely refused people, and now you want others to increase investment, anyway, I can't pull down this face to help you clean up the mess.
If you want it, you have to come, but what the other party thinks of you is another matter.
Wait for your next chance.
Two:
Hello toot, I watched the answer on the planet telling the birthday date man to give gifts and politely refused, and I felt that I was a bit similar and not exactly the same.
Talk to the blind date man about the recent closure of my community, the app can not grab vegetables. He said he hadn't sealed it yet, or he would buy something to send me. I thought to myself, empathy, we are 6 kilometers away, the big night at 10 o'clock, there is still heavy rain, I am not willing to send him, just say thank you, I will get up early tomorrow to see if I can grab it.
Also think of the previous and ex-appointment, when they were all students, he asked me to eat out more than 3 times a week, a few years ago, I couldn't move 150+ per capita, I thought in a different position, I felt too expensive, it was not a local tycoon family, you can go out once a week, other times to change to eat each other's school canteen. He was not happy and felt that he would not be given face.
Learned the patch lessons on why you were so careful. Before, I didn't dare to ask for things, I didn't dare to direct boys. Now let go a little bit. But these two things, I think about it in a different position, I feel that I am not willing to do it, so I do not intend to let the other party do it.
Looking at the answer of the planet, the rare opportunity to guide each other to invest. Shouldn't the above two situations be generously accepted, even if these things change for me, I will not do it for them?
I guess the blind date man this, he is half-truthful and half-false, if I accept it, he may be a little unwilling in his heart, how to praise him to make him feel worthy?
Thanks!
Honey, if the other person actively expresses that he wants to give, then you accept it.
The other person's bottom line is not the same as your bottom line.
Adults always have to be responsible for their own choices, you don't have to be afraid that he will not be happy, he will bear the results of his own mouth.
In fact, you are still cautious now, you are measuring others by your yardstick, you are afraid that others are just fake politeness, in fact, he is not happy after he does it.
So the topic becomes why are you afraid that he will not be happy?
is blown by himself, man is what he wants to please, what right does he have not to be happy?
You taste, you taste.
So in this case, you just have to say: Really? Then you're a real help!
Suddenly the heart was moved, what happened?
Then people really did this thing, and then you will tell people well: Today you are breaking the bank, today you are in trouble, next time I invite you to eat delicious food.
What is coming and going, you even block the opportunity for people to come, how do you go to the past?
Three:
Toot toot, I watched a lot of lessons, and I also listened to to toot and other sisters talk about guiding the pay, but I found that I didn't want to "want" and was also afraid of the other party to pay.
I carefully dissected my thoughts and found that I was full of doubts about the blind date I currently knew, because I actually didn't have a good feeling for him, it was really "I know a man".
Although the hardware is roughly matched, there is no spark at all, and the man has shortcomings that I cannot accept (the man is 172,165 pounds, and the young belly is out) Although I have the initiative to promote the relationship, in fact, the enthusiasm is not high, and I will hesitate when advancing.
The other person's personality is now relatively normal, and he does not see any major problems, but the advantages shown are not enough for me to ignore his shortcomings.
Please ask Toot Toot, what should I do with this mentality? Do you want to go along with your own wishes and find a way to develop into a friend, or do you want to contact it again?
Honey, you remember, as long as you are not a dead beggar asking the other party to buy you a bag, asking the other party to invite you to dinner and send red envelopes, you don't owe him anything at all.
You're just here pestle, he thinks you're good, he takes the initiative to show his sincerity by pleasing you, helping you, etc., this is a thing he voluntarily did, you don't owe him anything.
Besides, if you don't like this person, there are other exchanges of interests between you and him, and you don't necessarily have to bet on the future of your whole person to return the favor of others.
Do you think that this character is OK, not the bite you like, can you have a little intersection in your career? Did you meet other sisters on your way to choose a mate who just liked this mouthful, and you can exchange it with others as a human feeling, so why not enjoy at least two meals?
Enlarge your heart a little and better accept more relationships.
I really feel embarrassed to unilaterally eat the other party please you, you can also please come back, what is this.
Whether the call comes or not, this person's conditions can also be added to the person can also be, how can you become someone else in the dating agency to spend a hundred or two thousand dollars to see, you hold such a network in your hand as a human feeling, is not fragrant?
You see, the girls in my group are such good girls with thin skin.
Don't say how to compare with that group of fishing women, how to take the initiative to ask the other party to give this to that.
People take the initiative to say something, this group of girls have to turn around in their hearts, think about whether this is fake politeness or really want to help,
Even if people really want to help, the girls will think in their hearts, will this busyness add too much trouble to others,
Even if people are really willing to help with the trouble, the girls will think about this kindness he gave, and I can't afford it.
As for?
First, we did not take the initiative to ask for it, and second, people gave us it and did not return it.
Changing from a weak connection to a strong connection with a person is itself a cycle of constantly accepting the kindness of the other party and then returning the kindness, guiding the other party to invest more in you and then returning it.
What's so embarrassing?
We ourselves can give back to each other far more than just by making a personal commitment, we have different connections with different people.
Our connections can be shared.
Even if the other person is good to you at first, he wants you to be his object.
Don't I have a good guy card in my class?
Many of the girls' parents have only taught: Don't take advantage of others.
But it has not been taught with the times: how to accept the kindness of the other party and give back. How to touch porcelain to add some trouble to the other party and then give back.
I really haven't taught everyone how to take the initiative to ask for benefits, just ask everyone to be able to frankly accept the benefits of others to a shallow or deep degree, so difficult, am I easy?
A handful of bitter tears.
Just show a flaw, give the other party a chance to perform, why is it so difficult?