The relationship between a person and his father indicates whether there will be a chance, "to the father and leave the son" is not advisable Mu Chess psychology2022-03-18 23:49 Gold medal pet fan official, lovers of the emotional field, vitality creators
As the saying goes, parents are more kind than heaven. From the fall to the ground to the long eighteen years of adulthood, the growth of any outstanding or ordinary individual requires parents to devote their efforts and be touched by them at all times, which is also the essence of "raising children to know the grace of parents".
"Shijing · Xiaoya Tateshina" also has a cloud "father gives birth to me, mother bows to me, caress me animals, grow me to nurture me, take care of me, in and out of the abdomen me", whether it is raising, educating, caring for or caring, the heavy responsibility of ten years of trees and a hundred years of tree people requires the tireless cooperation of fathers and mothers.
However, the increase in the pressure of modern life makes men have no time to accompany their children to grow, which has led many women to simply give up the existence of men in the family, and directly produce the parenting concept of "leaving fathers and children".
Coupled with the leading role of outstanding women such as Gu Ailing, Ye Haiyang, and Li Xueke, many women are convinced of the views that "having children out of wedlock" and "carrying children alone" are easier and happier.
In fact, according to psychological and pedagogical research, the pressure of mothers raising children alone is far greater than the troubles of "married widowed parenting", and in the growth of children's lives, no matter how smart and rich the mother is, only the mother's love is far from enough.
The theory of early education shows that fatherhood and paternal love are indispensable factors in the growth process of children. Although some men currently dilute the responsibilities of fathers and have the phenomenon of "parent-child relationship tilting towards maternal groups", this does not mean that the growth of individuals does not require the emergence of men at all.
1. Fatherly love and intellectual development
When it comes to intelligence, the first thing we think of may be logical dialectics, mathematical physics, physics and chemistry, brainstorming, these abilities are mainly from the cultivation of the day after tomorrow, for most children, the companionship of parents is the main source of knowledge before they enter school.
Even with outside intervention, the father's role is equally important. In many early education institutions, the staff will prepare age-appropriate toys in the toy room, such as card entry games that stimulate memory, muscle building blocks, and so on, and so on, and the common point is that the father is the leader.
Through the stimulation of play, the father will pass on to the child a habit of exploring the surrounding environment, and this habit of exploration will become one of the important skills for children to learn and recognize things later.
Some people will ask, can't a mother lead her child to play games in an early education institution? The game is not difficult, and it does not require a lot of physical exertion, so why does it have to be a father?
This is because women who are flooded with natural maternal love are too delicate in their emotions, and they will be more afraid of their children being hurt than men, and a little skin trauma of their children will cause women to be anxious and thrilling, so most mothers are in a state of high tension every minute when taking their children, so as to avoid the child being affected by a little damage and affecting the life after that.
On the surface of psychology, babies before the age of two are enthusiastic about thinking about new things, and at the age of six, they will basically form a stable operating system, so in early childhood, the exploration of new things will have a decisive role in the development of a lifetime.
Fathers guide children to explore the world and cultivate curiosity about things, which helps to enhance children's sensitivity to numbers, recognition of colors and ability to distinguish things, and will have a great foundation for lifelong active learning.
2. Fatherly love and gender health
Childhood is an important period for the differentiation of gender roles, and gender roles are different from the differences in biological sex, which refers to the characteristics, ways of thinking and behavior patterns that should be expected by gender in line with social expectations. For example, a boy should be brave and strong, weak and weak, and have a clean and refreshing appearance, while a girl who is sweet and lovely, has white and delicate skin, and wears a skirt and high heels.
Normal paternal love can promote children to play their own gender roles. However, according to incomplete statistics, one in every ten men on the mainland has a "pseudo-feminization".
With the popularity of the Internet and the increase in cultural inclusion in the world, we often see some feminine men online. Some have long flowing hair, some wear long skirts and high heels, some wear heavy makeup, some are timid and shy, in short, very different from the male characteristics in the eyes of the public.
The two sessions mentioned vigilance against the "pseudo-feminization" of film and television works, and the People's Daily issued an article angrily criticizing the "NP" wind, which shows that many families lack gender education for boys.
Qualified fathers will establish a bold and responsible image for boys, so that in the subtlety of the father, boys will also examine their own behavior, become brave and take the initiative to take responsibility, and will also internalize men's living habits in the father's edification, imitate men's language and behavior, and show masculinity and masculinity in adulthood.
Similarly, fathers play an immeasurable role in the education of girls. The father is the first male girl encounters in her life and is an important reference for girls when choosing a mate.
When an unmarried girl is asked what kind of man she wants to marry in the future, most of the answers are to marry a man like her father, because her father's good performance for many years has given her a template for a happy marriage.
If the father's performance is very bad, domestic violence, infidelity, and irresponsibility to the family, resulting in the failure and breakdown of the marriage, leaving a psychological shadow on the girl, then the girl's answer is to marry a man who is diametrically opposed to the father.
The harmony between father and daughter can expose her to good and clear male role models from an early age, and distinguish between men and women, which is also conducive to cultivating the femininity of girls.
Third, the integration of fatherly love and social relations
The character of "father" is masculine and synonymous with the sacred and deep. People often say that dad is the pillar of the family, as the name suggests, the father is the main supporter of a family economy.
Coupled with the influence of traditional culture, the male and female protagonists are a family model that goes deep into the marrow of the bones, so the father often has a wider social interaction and construction than the mother, which can bring the child a broader vision and a broader pattern, and the result is that the father's image in the child's heart is far higher than the mother.
Of course, I am not saying that mothers are not important to the growth of children, but that men and women do differ in their parenting function.
The mother is the child's inner gentle harbor, the spiritual healer when sad and weeping, and the spiritual backing that can be relied upon, but the father is a reliable career planner and a career mentor, and the father's rationality, reality, perseverance and other qualities are more helpful for the child to adapt to the cruel society, and the effect time is more lasting.
Different genders, there is always a functional division. How much difference there is between women and men, how much difference is the influence of father and mother on children.
In summary, the traditional view is that the mother is the main caregiver of the child and plays a decisive role in the physical and mental development of the child, and the father does not need to participate in the child's upbringing, which has little impact on the child's development. But educational and psychological answers tell us that this is not the case.
Many new ideas and new ideas are the products of social development, and "leaving the father and the son" is no exception. Male friends see here without anxiety, fear, perhaps this is a warning, is a group in society in disguise to express: in fact, many women are very dissatisfied with the increasing dilution of men's role in the family.
In short, for the growth of a child, whether it is a father or a mother, it is an indispensable companion.