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Saturday, March 19, 2022
Today's Soundtrack "Father"
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In the past few years when the child was in elementary school, the four elderly people in the family would always take turns to take care of it, and the grandparents often came together, but the grandparents mostly came to Beijing alone.
I remember picking up my father at the airport and seeing my skinny father pulling a large suitcase from a distance at the pick-up gate, which I guess was filled with my favorite food, crispy meat, dried fried fish, or pepper chicken. He looked uneasily in the crowd, trying to find my figure, I waved at him hard, and the moment I saw me, my father smiled, but my heart was very unhappy. Every once in a while when I see my father again, I will feel that he is old again, the father who is at the Eight Immortals table, eating a plate of meat and drinking a bottle of wine for a meal, is too old to straighten up, his reaction has become slower, and he has spoken less...
When I received my father, he looked me up and down, then frowned and said painfully, "You're thin!" I walked side by side with my father, on the phone he also asked this and that, but there was nothing to say when they met, and I couldn't find too much to say, so I had to push the luggage cart while asking: "Is mom okay?" The father said: "Your mother is still like that, she just doesn't want to come to Beijing, and she can't rest assured about your brother!" We're all gone, and no one is cooking for him! "My brother has not yet started a family, and his parents are most relieved about him, although he is not young, but in their eyes he is still a child."
Every time the father came to Beijing, the child was very happy, jumping around him, and shouting grandpa vigorously. I remember that when my father was young, he didn't like children very much, and he didn't have much patience with us, and when he saw him angry, our brothers and sisters hid far away. Looking back, at that time, in order to make a living, he really did not have that leisure. Now that my father is old, he seems to have changed as a person, and he especially likes children, not only his own, but also when he sees other people's children on the street, he always likes to tease.
The father loves to chat with his children, and the grandparents often chat and laugh, and are happy to lean forward and backward. Sometimes I wonder, where does this generational common language come from? Later, I listened carefully, the father is the best listener of the child, he is very patient now, the child says anything he loves to hear, and listens very carefully, from time to time to ask a few questions. The child also has self-confidence in front of the father, and sometimes he is the father's teacher, and the various functions on the father's mobile phone are taught to him by hand. After school, the child should eat some fruit first, and taking advantage of this free time, the father quickly chatted with her for a while. The child has a lot of homework, and after eating fruit, he has to write homework, at which time the father consciously closes the door and goes to the kitchen to cook by himself.
Father's cooking skills are very good, very exquisite, the requirements for ingredients and spices are very high, if the ingredients are not fresh, the spices are not complete, he will not start. In the impression, when my father was young, as long as he did not have any important work in his hands, he was also willing to enter the kitchen, generally standing in the kitchen with his waist crossed for a while, thinking about what to eat, and then going to the vegetable garden to bring back a bunch of colorful fresh vegetables. Father's hands and feet are sharp, without the help of others, he washes and cuts, after a burst of smoke and fire, the delicious food is on the table, the best is stewed fish and spicy fried chicken, the aroma can spread far. When eating, we can't praise our father for our good cooking, and our father can't boast about ourselves, otherwise our mother will pull a long cavity aside and say, "You do a good job, then you will cook from now on!" ”
Since the lack of farm work, my father has often cooked and improved his skills a lot. Now, children also love to eat their father's rice, even if it is a plate of shredded potatoes, it is fried fresh and refreshing, and the color and flavor are complete. Watching us wolf out the food, he was most pleased that we were praising our father's craftsmanship while eating, and his mother was not present, and we could praise him as much as we wanted.
At dinner, my father would ask us about our work and tell stories about the past. After eating, the child will go into the house to continue learning, we also have our own things to do, sometimes I have the consciousness to chat with him, but my father is afraid of taking up my time, often said: "You are busy with yours, I go downstairs to walk around." ”
My father is a good person to deal with, sincere and enthusiastic about people, but after arriving in Beijing, he seems to be not very comfortable, and he has not made a few good friends in recent years, only scattered with a few old people of his age. I remember one morning, my father's spirit was very good, and he was about to go out after eating two mouthfuls of food in a hurry, and I knew when I asked that he knew a Shandong uncle when he walked the night before, and the two of them agreed to go to Panjiayuan for a walk. I was relieved to see that he had friends.
In those days, my father's mind shifted from cooking and mobile phones, and when there was nothing to do, he and Uncle Shandong pulled homely, especially after dinner, which must be chatted for a while, and the uncle was also alone in Beijing with his children, and the common hometown sound and experience made them especially chatty. One night it was almost eleven o'clock, my father had not returned, no one answered his phone, I was a little anxious, and hurried downstairs to find it. At the street lamp under the overpass, I saw my father and uncle sitting side by side still chatting, although it was late, but at this time it was quiet, watching them talk very engaged, I could not bear to disturb, rest assured to go upstairs.
But the good times were not long, after a while the uncle returned to Shandong, the father was single again, the door was obviously less, and after eating, he locked himself in the house. One day after dinner, my father went out for a walk, and then I went downstairs to buy something, and saw my father bent over, sitting alone on the roadside steps smoking a cigarette, and I did not go over, and quietly stood by the side and watched him. He seemed to be gradually adapting to the time of a man, sitting there for a long time without getting up, I knew that there was nothing he was looking for in his eyes, it was all some dazed consciousness, and he did not know anyone who walked by him, nor would anyone greet him, only the occasional puppy who passed by would stop for a few seconds, smell on his shoes, and glance at this quiet old man twice.
At that moment, I realized his loneliness, his heart was suddenly a little cool, the wind was also a little cool, the autumn leaves swayed with the wind, fell under the dappled lights, and also fell on him, he did not feel the yellow leaves on his body at all, and continued to spend this twilight time. I guess my father must have missed his hometown at this time, he missed his mother, and he also remembered the poplar trees in the old courtyard in autumn and the green vegetable field.
The winter before, my father was seriously ill and fell alone in the community, when my mother was in Beijing. It is said that the situation was very critical at that time, the father was lying in the snow, unable to breathe or move, but fortunately he was found by the neighbors and sent to the hospital in time to rescue him.
After experiencing this incident, especially the father's illness has not been cured, the mother feels that the father can not be without people around, people still have to have a companion when they are old, since then the father has followed where the mother has gone, although the father is no longer lonely, but still has not got rid of the loneliness of the leaf falling back to the roots.
One weekend afternoon, when I was out on my way back, when I was about to reach the overpass near my home, I saw my father standing on it in the distance, looking at the endless stream of vehicles under the bridge. There was no scenery on the overpass, and he stood for a while and then came down. I followed him all the way to see how he was when he was alone. When he was about to reach the door, he paused, but did not come home, and continued to stagger forward, but did not go far and felt tired, and sat down on a roadside bench.
I went up, and my father asked me when I came, and I said, "Just arrived." His eyes immediately fell on my hair, and he said in surprise, "Why do you have so many white hairs!" I smiled and said, "Normal, I'm not all in my forties!" "Father seems to have forgotten my age.
The child went to junior high school this fall, one day I went out for a walk with her, she said to me seriously: "Grandparents at home, in addition to cooking is sleeping, even the door does not want to come out, but also often with aunts and uncles they video, I watch grandparents are thinking of them, or let them go back to their hometown, I will be a junior high school student immediately, and I don't need to pick up!" "I was very relieved after listening to it, and suddenly felt that the child had grown up.
Parents also know that children do not need to pick up after junior high school, this summer vacation back to their hometown will be solid, no need to card point to Beijing, and then come back to the mood. During this time, they were in a very good state of mind, because it was almost time to return, and when it came to the specific time of returning to their hometown that day, they seemed really happy, and these days they had begun to pack their clothes. I can understand that in their opinion, no matter how good my family is, it is not their home, they still want to go back to their own home. Of course, they can't let go of the children and us from the heart, and they will deliberately stir-fry a few more dishes when they cook recently, and they are particularly happy to watch us eat the food.
How to keep it with your heart, some things can't be retained, just like time. Sometimes I still can't help but miss that warm home, when my parents got married, my father bought five plates and five bowls, and then there were three of us brothers and sisters, no more and no less. Now, my sister and I have formed a small family, my sister is still close to home, but I am far from home, and I have been reunited and separated from my parents many times in my life.
Every reunion is sweet, and the place where our eyes meet is full of happiness; and every parting is so unwilling. Every time I leave home, I don't let them send me out, my mother worries, I will pretend not to close the door and go forward strongly, although I did not look back, I can feel that their burning eyes have been watching me in front of the window; every time I send my parents home, I also smile and pretend to be relaxed, I want them to feel that they can meet soon, but there is too much fashion, even the sentence "all the way smoothly" forgot to say, until their backs slowly disappeared into the crowd, I can't put it on at all...