Many mothers lamented that when they were young, the little warm man who stuck to himself all day long, like a tail that could not be shaken off, the older he grew, the less he kissed himself, especially in adolescence, and even to the point of "water and fire".
Mothers are very lost, obviously take good care of their children, why is the status in the son's heart getting lower and lower, this is not waiting to marry the daughter-in-law, why began to forget the mother?
Why is this happening?
Mom tubes too many tubes are too wide.
Most mothers are delicate in their minds, and they are also prone to anxiety, because they are particularly afraid of their children making mistakes, taking detours, and afraid that their children will fall behind, so no matter how big or small, they want to interfere and correct.
But if you really want to take care of it, you will find that you can manage it from the moment your son comes home from school and walks in the door until he goes to bed.
Either they didn't put their shoes back in the shoe cabinet.
Or throw books all over the place and look for them all over the house in the blink of an eye.
Or they are sweaty and don't bathe.
There are more trivial ones, such as the child's sitting posture, the posture of holding a pen, the size of writing, the speed of homework... Too much too much, all the way down, the mother will be particularly tired, the child is particularly annoying to you.
And the more you manage, the more disobedient the children will be, in order to express their dissatisfaction, they will also deliberately fight against you, "chicken flying dog jump" every minute! Motherly filial piety? inexistent.
Mom was nagging too much.
Many moms like to go through old accounts and say one thing over and over again.
And I like to use sentences like this:
I told you a long time ago...
You always do...
When will you be able to understand things...
I'm all for your own good...
Why don't you feel as carefree as anyone who...
Boys react more strongly to nagging words than girls, and the more the mother says, the more likely it is for boys to rebel.
There are often friends who complain about their sons, hey, now what he says, he can't listen to it, sometimes, you say a word, he can top you ten sentences, but you can't say it, he will yell at you, make you shut up.
"How to Raise Boys" proposes: Boys and girls' brains are different, girls' brains emphasize communication and interpersonal relations, their language ability develops earlier and faster, and the hot spots of boys' brains are mainly concentrated in the field of controlling physical activity, spatial awareness and classified information, they are very active...
In other words, boys' brains determine their receptivity and processing of language, which is weaker than that of girls.
Too much language information will make their brains extremely busy and tired, especially some repetition, and there is no information content, which will make them particularly bored.
Dad arched the fire next to him.
I once brushed up on a small video.
The son is doing his homework in the room.
The father walked into the room and mysteriously said to his son: Son, your mother will be home in an hour!
The son said impatiently: Don't rush! I'm already desperately trying to write my homework!
Dad smiled and said: "I mean, you still have an hour to play the game!" Hurry! Daddy help you let the wind out!
The son's expression changed from disbelief to ecstasy: Hooray, Daddy, long live!
After that, the son threw his homework aside and picked up his phone to play.
I don't know how my mother will feel when she sees this scene?
This father is really a pig teammate, he formed an alliance with his son, but also invisibly stepped on the image of the mother in his son's heart. It's like saying, look, how enlightened Dad is, how authoritarian Mom is!
Such a family relationship, can the relationship between mother and son be better?
So how can you always have a very strong relationship with your son?
1. Appropriately lower the requirements.
Studies have shown that boys' brains develop later than girls, a year to two years, so, especially at the primary school level, boys will perform worse than girls in learning and interpersonal communication, and they look inferior everywhere.
It is better to lower the requirements appropriately and let the child compare with himself.
As long as the child is a little better than yesterday, don't skimp on your praise and appreciation.
Because people will always like people who like them and have positive comments about them.
If you want your child to like you, be sure to praise him more and express to him that you like him.
Of course, don't always say empty words like "You're so smart, you're capable."
Children are particularly keen. The more specific and sincere your praise is, the more willing he is to believe it.
2, don't be too upright, be friends with your children.
Be a mother, don't think too much of yourself as a "mother".
Today's children are very sensitive to their parents' preaching, and when you start to preach big truths, they will close their ears or impatiently say that they don't want to hear it.
This is a manifestation of their gradual awakening of self-awareness.
A self-aware person does not like to be swayed and controlled.
Therefore, when the child refuses to listen to the big truth and shows resistance to reasoning, it means that you need to adjust your relationship with the child and treat him as an equal friend.
You can share some of your own experiences with your child or guide them to think, rather than giving them answers and asking them to do the same. When you truly regard your child as a friend, your child will also regard you as a friend and talk to you.
3. Keep a moderate distance from your child.
Smelling far and smelling is the underlying law of relationships.
The relationship between people is so delicate, you lick your face to meet it, the other party may not only not appreciate it, but also rush to escape. And if you are a little cooler, the other party will come closer to you.
In parent-child relationships, the same is true.
After experiencing the intimate time with his mother at the age of 0-6, boys began to dislike kissing and hugging their mother more and more, and they would no longer follow their mother's ass all day as a "little tail".
He began to build his circle of friends and had good friends of his own.
Especially after entering puberty, his little secrets will be more and more, and he is reluctant to share them with his mother.
At this time, mom should stop asking long and short questions, and don't always ask", "What did you eat at noon today?" "Who was the female classmate who spoke to you that day?"
As long as it doesn't involve safety issues, moms can appropriately "leave blanks" in the relationship.
Of course, in addition to the above 3 things, dads who are important members of the family are also indispensable binders.
When my son grows up, he may like to be with his father more and more.
Moving closer to dad and seeking his approval is a necessary stage for every boy to grow.
Dad's influence will slowly surpass Mom's, so Dad should be a good guide and never engage in any father-son alliance.
Dad must unconditionally defend Mom in front of his son.
Hello everyone, I am a worm mother, a multi-platform original parenting blogger, a middle-aged girl who wrestles with 8-year-old children every day, focusing on sharing dry parenting goods, and the social life observation of an ordinary mother. Pay attention to [bug mother parenting], I am not alone on the road to parenting.