When I took the bus after work yesterday, I heard two people and aunts chatting next to me. Parents chat, the content is often inseparable from the child. Sure enough, the two aunts could not leave the child in three sentences, and one of the aunts sighed and directly said her grievances.
The old man said: "People are always annoying, although my son is filial piety, but always all kinds of picky me, the other day I was downstairs to pick up a few bottles, after returning home, I said I picked up bottles to shame him."
It may be that after listening to this aunt's words, she felt the same way, and another aunt also echoed: "My daughter is also, and the phone call is always hung up without saying a few words, which is particularly impatient."
After listening to the conversation between the two aunts, I was also a little ashamed, after all, I had just had a verbal quarrel with my mother because of a little trivial matter in the morning, and now that I think about it, I guess my mother's idea at that time was also "recruiting people to be suspicious of myself"
As the saying goes: "The adopter knows the grace of his parents", after the children have a baby, they should be able to better understand the difficulty of their parents and can get along peacefully with their parents, but in actual life, it is just the opposite.
More and more young people are beginning to dislike their parents very much, and even quarrel when they don't agree, and parents will be sad because of their children's attitude towards themselves, and even feel that they are old and useless, and will only "recruit other children to be bored."
Why do children hate their parents more and more as they grow up?
In fact, the phenomenon of "children growing up and not getting used to their parents" is relatively common in domestic families.
Reason one: Parents don't understand role changes
As children grow older, they understand more and more, and when they become the protagonists of society, people of their parents' generation should learn to quit.
But in real life, parents are still accustomed to pointing fingers, whether in their children's work or life, parents still use their own experience to teach others, and even sometimes "rely on the old and sell the old", forcing their children to follow their wishes.
To be honest, such parents are really annoying to their children.
Reason two: there is a generation gap between each other
At present, the speed of intellectual change is very fast, parents and children receive education time difference of several generations, when they communicate together, there will be a "generation gap". With the accumulation of the generation gap, children will consciously or unconsciously express their dislike for their parents.
Reason three: for many children "can't be clear"
In those families with many children, it is easy to appear those "confused" parents, out of preference for one child, for other children will be particularly cold and indifferent.
The most common is to favor the favored child, and even ask other children to help their preferred brothers and sisters, once the children are dissatisfied and rebellious, the parents will be dissatisfied, and even do not hesitate to denigrate the children's affection in front of outsiders.
Such parents, even filial children, will not be accustomed to their parents' actions.
Parents do not want to be rejected by their children in their later years, what should they do?
1) Adjust your mindset and not interfere too much in your children's lives
When people reach old age, they will inevitably always think wildly, and when they are older, they find that their children slowly begin to hate themselves, and many times it is parents who interfere excessively in their children's lives, so that their children have bored emotions.
Especially after the children become a family, parents should learn to withdraw appropriately, even if they participate in the life of their children, more than that, they cannot help and add to the blockage. Therefore, whether living with children or living separately, the necessary sense of distance is best maintained, after all, only "distance" can produce beauty.
2) Do something you love
Do something you love, don't put all your time and energy into your children, and set aside some time to feel your life. Usually, you can pay more attention to exercise, after all, the body is the capital of the revolution.
You can also participate in more social activities and choose those projects that you like, but the premise is best to be physically demanding, so that while killing time, your quality of life will also reach a higher spiritual level.
3) Plan your future life in advance
If you really encounter unfilial children, the elderly are planning their future lives in advance, whether it is money or goods, they must be prepared in advance, consider the solutions for future care, of course, the most ideal way at present is to live in a nursing home.
Do not want parents to have the feeling of being "abandoned", children should also pay attention to what they say
Older people are sensitive to the word "old". The phrase "old, not used" is not known how many elderly people often hang on their lips, so whenever it comes to pensions, they will be very concerned and will put themselves in the current topic or story.
In fact, sometimes, children may not really be as the old man feels: they begin to hate themselves, but the tone and attitude of speaking are slightly inappropriate. Therefore, when parents are old, children should also pay attention to grasping words and behaviors in words and deeds to avoid inadvertently hurting their parents.
Kojima would like to say:
In short, with the progress of the times, living with children is no longer the only choice for the elderly to provide for the elderly, and the elderly should focus on themselves in order to make their old age happier and their children more comfortable.