For some unknown reason, the number of women and men diagnosed with autism is 1:4, but female symptoms are generally more severe than men's, and countless "she" bear more extreme obstacles and suffering.
Among the autism rehabilitation therapists, women also make up the vast majority. Most of those children with a good prognosis are also cared for by their mothers, grandmothers or grandmothers. The main backbone of autism self-help mutual aid organizations across the country is also mostly women.
It can be said that without women's persistence and dedication, there would not be so many soothing and inspiring cases, and there would be no rapid progress in China's autism support and advocacy.
On this Women's Day, we hang up and relive the stories of 38 women. Some of them are strong, some are fragile, but they all prove that autism will bring obstacles, but as long as there is gentleness in the world, autistic families will usher in the spring.
1
A path to advocacy for children with mental disabilities across the country
She's been gone for 20 years
@Dai Rong
She is the chairman of the National Association of Parents of Mentally Handicapped People, a member of the Autism (Work) Committee of the China Fine Arts Association, and a director of the Guangdong Autism Rehabilitation Education Association.
She is also the mother of an autistic boy Zhang Junqi.
She promoted the launch of the Guangzhou "Rong Ai Xing" integrated education project, gathered multiple forces to submit the proposal of inclusive education to the two sessions of the National People's Congress, made a speech at the International Conference on Integration, and ran for 20 years for the rights and interests of children with mental disabilities across the country.
2
From self-help to helping others
The mother of an autistic child becomes a public welfare master
@Lu Ying
Lu Ying is the mother of Autistic Boy Sensen, vice chairman of Guangzhou Yangai Special Needs Children's Parents Club, and vice chairman of Shenzhen Shouwang Family Care Association for People with Mental Disabilities.
In the past ten years, she has not only cultivated and trained Sen Sen from primary school to university, but also successfully enrolled in Guangzhou Modern Information Engineering Vocational and Technical College. Efforts are also being made for more children with autism to enter the general school integration.
3
Pioneer of elderly care services in China
Dare to say the first person in the circle
@Meng Weina
"We don't give up 99% of our freedom and close because of the 1% risk!"
Meng Weina is the founder of Guangzhou Huiling, a well-known autism organization, whose care services cover 26 provinces and cities across the country and serve nearly 2,000 people. She has always adhered to the concept and model of community-based service, advocating the need to respect and appropriately meet the physical and mental needs of people with mental disabilities.
4
Founder of China's first autism service
Every life deserves to be respected
@Tian Huiping
She is the founder of Xingxingyu, the first autism service agency in China, and the mother of autistic youth Tao. She once took her son across four states, six airports, drove more than 2,000 kilometers, vowed to conquer ten national forest parks in the United States, and left the footprints of autistic Yang Tao in each place!
She once said loudly, "Only when the dignity of children like Tao Tao in all of China is guaranteed, can Han Tao be guaranteed." Only when the whole society respects children like my son, my son is truly respected. ”
5
To improve the survival and employment of people with mental disabilities
She has devoted most of her life
@Wang Xiaogeng
One of the founders of Beijing RongAi Rongle Parents Organization, the first chairman of the National Association of Parents of Mentally Handicapped People, and the mother of Chen Wu, an autistic person.
In order to improve the survival and employment situation of mentally disabled groups, she traveled around, raised strength, and devoted most of her life to this group, and died of colon cancer on September 12, 2017.
Her deeds have influenced and inspired more latecomers to run to the front line of advocacy and service in the field of mental disorders.
6
Give yourself a chance to turn back
Never push yourself into a corner
@Zhang Yan
She is a well-known parent in the genealogy circle and the mother of a 24-year-old autistic youth. She is also a writer, using words to encourage countless autistic families.
Her representative works include "Snails Don't Give Up - Life Stories of Chinese Autism Communities" and sequels "Embracing You Through Loneliness", and the sound fairy tale "Fairy Lantern" and so on.
7
The orchestra of the stars is on CCTV
Behind it is the support of more than a dozen mothers
@ Aite Orchestra Moms
It has been reported by CCTV multiple platforms, it has won millions of praise on platforms such as Douyin, and it is an orchestra composed of 13 autistic boys - Shenzhen Philharmonic Orchestra!
It was the first band in the country to be composed entirely of autistic people, with the youngest being only 13 years old and the oldest 37 years old.
The Philharmonic Orchestra can rush to the hot search can not be separated from the mother's lift, more than a dozen autistic children, from a loose sand to tacit cooperation, from a song you play yours, I play mine, to training for three months can barely ensemble, and now only need three lessons, can be perfectly coordinated, they spent 8 years!
8
"I'm your mom"
This is my promise to you in this life
@ Waring
She is the mother of a 7-year-old boy with severe regression autism. My son could read and write at the age of 1, but at the age of 4 he regressed to speaking only 1 word.
For the sake of her children, she began to learn behavioral analysis and is now studying at BCBA in California. She said, "While assisting my son, I also hope to accompany and help other autistic children." ”
9
For daughters and grandchildren
At the age of 59, she walked into the Shadow Teacher Training Class
@Zhongna Wang
She is 59 years old, and she wanted to spend her life studying from scratch, only because her grandson had autism.
When 1 and a half years old Yuan Feng was diagnosed, he was a typical autistic boy with missing eyes, no name should be called, and he only played with electric fans and wheels. After 59-year-old grandmother Wang Zhongna intervened with her grandson for 4 years, the results of the hospital review showed that the grandson was close to normal in all aspects.
Wang Zhongna painstakingly learned to intervene in the knowledge of her grandson, even though Yuanfeng has recovered well now, she still decided to participate in the training of shadow teachers and help Yuanfeng as a shadow teacher in the future.
10
Autistic daughter with an IQ of only 36 and how
Mom quit her job to teach at home
@ Ouyang
She is a master of famous universities, the manager of central enterprises, and a deputy to the Xiamen Municipal People's Congress. In order to help her autistic daughter with an IQ of 36, Ouyang said goodbye to her life and taught her daughter life by hand.
In 3 years, she taught herself about autism intervention and recorded her daughter's daily life with 50,000 words. "You can't be illiterate in a bad situation." Relying on firm faith, Ouyang not only taught his daughter to read and write, but also helped her find something she liked- a puzzle, and thus won the first pot of gold.
11
I've used it for over 30 years
Just to live as an "ordinary person"
@ Tong Mama
She came out of the mountains of Guizhou and struggled to fight for her career and life, but heaven gave her an autistic son.
From taking her son to seek death to becoming the leader of the "Wuxi Parents Learning Mutual Aid Group", she finally became a "growth parent" by her own efforts.
12
Autism is okay
It is important to give your child a good background in life
@ Zixia Mama
She taught in high school and was transferred to primary school as a science teacher and psychological counselor for her autistic son.
She said that "it is important to lay a good background for children's lives", "Parents want their children to become what kind of person, first of all, parents must become that kind of person." "She hopes to live every day with her own efforts, gratitude, and positivity and happiness, and infect the children."
13
Escorted her daughter into Tsinghua in the first half
In the second half, he accompanied his autistic son to a special school
@ Xiao Mama
In the summer of 2016, Xiao Mama's daughter was admitted to Tsinghua University, but her 5-year-old son was diagnosed with autism.
The gap in her life was magnified at that moment. The beginning of the second half of life also fell into the cycle that countless autistic families have experienced, despair, helplessness, collapse... But unlike many mothers, Xiao Mama's career has not been interrupted, she was originally a high school teacher, grasping her daughter's study on the one hand and her son's intervention on the other.
In the first half, she was an ordinary high school teacher who helped her daughter with mediocre grades enter Tsinghua University; in the second half, at the age of 50, she resolutely turned around and stepped into a special school, deciding to accompany her severely autistic son and more special children to grow up together.
14
I walked slowly though
But they never back down
@ Rui Rui Ma
Rui Rui opened his mouth to speak later than children of the same age, one day, he pointed to his mother and said "Aunt", Rui Rui's mother was very sad, how could this child not even recognize himself? Later, the family found the answer, and it turned out that Rui Rui suffered from autism.
At first, Rui Rui Mom was very remorseful, thinking that she missed the child's "golden dry expectations", but later Rui Rui Mom found that there is a so-called golden period, for autistic children, lifelong support is more important.
While taking care of Rui Rui and intervening, Rui Rui Mom also formed a community of 400 parents of autistic children to share parenting experience, and she became a "big god" in the hearts of many parents.
15
With an autistic grandson to achieve some firsts in life
The 70-year-old grandmother has countless fans
@ Grandma Mori
Moritoshi is an autistic boy brought up by her grandmother, for the growth of her grandson, she learned to draw, learn to dive, organize parent activities, and popularize autism in the media... Today, sunny and handsome Senyou has learned to take care of himself and even found a job as a clothing quality inspector.
In the face of everyone's admiration, the 72-year-old grandmother said: "They all say that I have made Senyou, in fact, Senyou has also made me." Because of Moritomo, I have many firsts in my life that I dare not think of! ”
16
How to intervene with the child
I was confused
@ Cancan Mom
This news gave me and Cancan Dad a headshot. Although we were half convinced of the doctor's diagnosis, we still arranged various lessons for the child as soon as possible: music lessons, language lessons, personal training... Windy and rainy, never stopping.
The summer in Shenzhen is exceptionally long, and when he is young, he runs between his home and hospitals and institutions every day, and soon changes from a white and pure baby to a black baby.
Children progress slowly over the course of a year.
This made me and Cancan's dad start to reflect: Why has the effect of our rehabilitation treatment on Cancan not been obvious this year? How do we really want our children to grow?
17
He also takes care of a 70-year-old father and a 7-year-old autistic son
Single mothers hold up a home alone
@ Nanning Mom
She is a single mom, 34, raising her father in her 70s while caring for her 7-and-a-half-year-old autistic son to go to school.
She has no culture, before working on construction sites, now moving around stalls, a small tricycle, is an essential tool for her to travel through the city to make a living. Faced with the hardships of raising an autistic son, she didn't complain too much, just said, "If I don't take care of my autistic son, then he really has no hope." ”
18
To seek professional support
Single mothers bring their autistic sons to an appointment
@ Yang Yang
30 years old, single mother, son was suddenly diagnosed with autism, earning 2,000 yuan per month... These words together are the life of Yang Yang.
When a cruel diagnosis meets the overstretched living conditions, Yang Yang once felt that he had embarked on a dead end. At the critical moment, she received an invitation from Pan Tsefu, vice president of Rice and Xiaomi, to come to Yunnan to participate in parent training.
After that, although she will still take a detour in intervention, and the difficulties she should have seem to be no less, she knows that she will insist on education and accompany her son, and prepare for entering primary school in the next stage; she will also work harder to make money, do e-commerce, set up stalls, live sell goods, she also wants to try...
19
Caring for an autistic son is overwhelmed
I abandoned him at the train station
@ Little Moon
On May 13, 2019, Xiao Yue, a single mother, abandoned her 6-year-old son at the Chengzhan Railway Station in Shangcheng District, Hangzhou. According to Xiao Yue's confession after her arrest, the reason why she made this move was because her son was suffering from autism, the intervention required high costs, and her ex-husband had never given child support, and she was really overwhelmed.
On January 9, 2020, Xiao Yue, a single mother who abandoned her 4-year-old autistic son at the Hangzhou Railway Station, ushered in this result.
The Shangcheng District People's Procuratorate of Hangzhou City reported that "based on the consideration of maximizing the interests of children, and Xiaoyue's good attitude of admitting guilt and repentance, a decision not to prosecute Xiaoyue was made." ”
20
Sons with autism are called geniuses
Mom expressed embarrassment and helplessness
@ Li Ruolan
Pulled his severely autistic son Wei Yizhe back from the edge of the cliff.
In the first two years after his son's diagnosis, Li Ruolan was first blindly optimistic, then actively intervened after recognizing the truth, and finally gradually reconciled with reality. She does not take the child to integrate into the school education, but finds a suitable development path for him.
With her support and cultivation, Wei Yizhe, who has an absolute sense of sound, showed everyone his musical talent, learning piano at the age of twelve, passing the tenth grade at the age of seventeen, performing, composing, joining the band, and harvesting a bright musical life.
In the face of everyone's call for his son's genius, Li Ruolan believes that "he only has the talent and characteristics of art, and only through hard study can he continue to move forward and improve." “
21
Take the autistic son to do vibrato
Rural moms are relieved
@ Zhang Dong's mother
She is a mother from rural Shandong. With his autistic son Zhang Dong together, he sold beads in the Vibrato live broadcast room, and the store could receive orders of more than 2,000 yuan a day at the peak of the store.
Although Zhang Dong's cognition and language still have problems, and online traffic is also good and bad, Zhang Dong's mother has been grateful for the moment, she is pleased by her son's skillful beading skills, and does not pursue "perfection", she once said that "it is not necessary to be independent employment to count him as employment." With the supervision and help of parents or other guardians, you can complete even mechanical work with quality and quantity, earn remuneration, and even if you are successfully employed. ”
22
How nice it is that I don't have this child
@ Colored cotton wool yarn
On my thirtieth birthday, I heard the doctor say, "Your son is autistic, moderate, and in many ways worse, and he has to intervene quickly," and I began to cry as I listened, and the description of tears and liver and intestines was not exaggerated. The gentleman was silent the whole time, and the silence was his most painful time.
In the months after my diagnosis, I woke up every morning and didn't know where to go, what to do or what to think. I just felt like I was crushed by a big rock, so heavy, I didn't want to wake up.
When the child was first diagnosed, my husband said, "Son, Dad will not be able to share your glory in this life." ”
These honors include: telling us happily the story of him and his friends, the youthful and proud appearance when he put on the red scarf, getting a good score, walking on the podium, or receiving higher education like us.
These psychological gaps, coupled with their own rigidity, loud noises, emotional collapse... Raising a child with autism is difficult for the first few years. The gentleman said to me, "I am getting afraid to look at a child his age anymore." I advised him: "Still want those who do something, accept the fact that special children have the joy of special children." ”
It's not pure A-Q spirit, and I'm also thinking, "Is this my life?" Am I dreaming? How nice it is that I don't have this child! ”
23
Reality shatters romantic planning
After the 90s, my mother decided to set sail in a corner
@ Bean Mom
Because of the autistic daughter Doudou, the full-time mother who has an unbalanced focus of life laughs at herself: "How did she change from a pure love girl to a housewife who talks all day long, and even the dog has to be afraid of three points when she sees herself." “
Later, she decided to find happiness in the details of life and find her role. She began to pick up the camera to learn to shoot, learn video editing, record her trivial life, and capture the traces of time flowing through the present.
Gradually, she found that her daughter Doudou also brought her a lot of happiness, she not only found her former self, but also healed the full-time mothers who were also in psychological sub-health through video.
24
The female associate professor gave birth to an autistic son
Embarrassing and embarrassing to sleep and forget
@ MingMing Mom
Obviously, he is an autistic child who loves to go out. But "going out" for this group is associated with "out of control and danger" at any time.
As an associate professor at the university, in the face of the embarrassment brought by her son, she spent nine years to develop a set of strategies to deal with various situations.
"Put aside self-esteem, let go of pride, do more psychological construction, spend more time trying, I accept the child myself, I can do it no matter how embarrassed and embarrassed he makes me outside, I will forget it when I sleep, and next time I will go until he has no problems." 」
25
Before the birth, the family thought the child was a genius
No one thought it was autism after birth
@ Mu Mu Ma
Before Mu Mu was born, his family used to gossip with me: "If you have a child, what kind of smart do you have to be?" ”
Although I think she thinks too much, my family agrees that my husband and I have good grades in school, and the baby born should be different from one plus one is greater than two. They're right, my baby is really different, but this is different, not what they expected.
As Mu Mu grew older, I found that he didn't even say much Chinese. Mothers, grandmothers, and grandmothers who have been hanging out together since childhood in the community often say when they meet: "Two years old, can't you still talk?" You are the mother of our community who loves to talk to children the most, when we adults get together to chat, you are accompanying children and teasing children, whose children talk late should not be your home! ”
Really, I don't understand why this is the case.
26
The countryside "cured" the autistic son
@Taotao Mom
For the education of her autistic son, Taotao's mother does not belong to the category of chicken babies, and she chooses to take her children from the city back to the countryside.
At the beginning of Xiaosheng, Taotao's grades could have been enrolled in the city's key middle schools, but after much thought, she let her son continue to enter the ordinary suburban middle school with most partners. Compared with excellent teachers and beautiful promotion rates, Taotao Mom hopes that her children's physical and mental health can develop healthily.
Similarly, Taotao's mother is not afraid of shame, she took Taotao to 43 cities to travel, children love to take the subway, then they must sit on the subway. She believes that "the intervention will be better only if you reach out to more enthusiastic and well-meaning people and see different landscapes." “
27
He was jointly dissuaded by the parents of 17 classmates
She is determined not to succumb to reality
@Lina Liao
Liao Lina's son Dongdong was jointly complained by 17 parents about dropping out of school.
But she always has a clear goal, through active intervention to first let her son receive a normal education, and then let his son find a job.
Years passed, and she did it, and So did Winter. He was successfully admitted to the Guangdong Provincial Foreign Language Vocational Art College, worked six times, learned video shooting and editing skills, and came to the rice and millet video groups for internships.
28
Start with shelter workshops
She lifted her daughter into society
@ Yang Yubing
Yang Yubing is the head of the Xingmeng Workshop. Her 21-year-old autistic daughter, Xiaowen, works at the bakery. Xiaowen not only makes various snacks such as egg yolk crisp and cookies, but also is responsible for the distribution of some parts of Guangzhou.
Employment for autistic people is not an easy task. The shelter job in the bakery is Xiaowen's third job. Before that, Xiaowen had worked as a housekeeper at a homestay and a part-time worker at Wallace, but she hadn't been able to do it all the time.
Since Xiaowen became an adult, Yang Yubing has been paying attention to job opportunities for her daughter. She hopes that her daughter will not only stay in the shelter workshop, but also enter the society and have her own world.
29
Admitted that his son had autism
I used it for 10 years
@Iron Egg Mom
Not every parent can adjust their mindset and seek intervention very quickly after their child is diagnosed with autism. After Iron Egg was diagnosed with autism, it took Iron Egg's mother 10 years to accept the fact that her son had autism.
In the face of inquiries from relatives and friends, the attitude of the iron egg mother has changed dramatically. She went from prevaricating that "he loves music and is a little weird about learning music" to exclaiming "My son has autism!" It took her a long time to get out of the haze brought to her by autism.
Nowadays, Iron Egg has basically taken care of himself, can do housework, loves to read and sing. Iron Egg has also stepped onto more and more stages with his piano talent. Iron Egg Mom said, "It's easy to give up, it's hard to hold on, but you have to persevere." ”
30
A 6-year-old daughter with autism who was dissuaded
On the CCTV stage
@ Yi Duo Mom
When Yiduo's mother was more than 1 year old, she found that the child was different from ordinary children, not talking, ignoring people, and her eyes were flickering...
Since the age of 1, Yiduo's mother has begun to teach Yiduo to do housework and learn to take care of herself. She knows that self-care is the foundation, and after self-care, Yiduo can develop her musical talent. From the hyperactive girl in the small city to the musical genius standing on the CCTV stage, behind it is the efforts of an ordinary woman who has been working hard.
Yiduo's mother said, "If I let go of everything and teach Yiduo every day, her understanding will definitely reach another level." But I don't think it's necessary. For Yiduo, she is now living happily. And if she had learned more and understood the gap between her other children, would she still be so happy, I think it may not be. ”
31
I have two autistic daughters
Unexpectedly pregnant
@ Ame
After realizing the problem of the third elder, we resolutely intervened for him.
More than a year later, although the child's language can only pop out a few words, but the attention to people has improved a lot.
Until now, we have not taken our young son to the hospital for a diagnosis.
On the one hand, I don't think the diagnosis of my son is that significant, and the intervention still has to be intervened.
On the other hand, I was a little afraid of that piece of medical paper, without which I could comfort myself. There were already two disability certificates at home, and I couldn't afford one more.
32
After your child is diagnosed with autism
My wife is separated
@ Smile Mom
"Husband and wife are originally the same forest birds, and they fly separately when the great trouble is imminent." Although there are many couples working together to intervene in the typical case of autistic children, just like laughing parents, there are probably not a few families who are squeezed by autism to be separated. This is actually normal, we should not overestimate human nature, nor can we be harsh on the tolerance and ability of ordinary people to cope with suffering.
Like the smiling mom in the video, I don't think she has no feelings for laughter or that she's a heartless mother. I believe it is also true that she put the photo of Xiao Xiao as a child in the bedroom after the second marriage, alongside her current little daughter.
There are autistic children in the family, not only his fate is ill-fated, but there are also a group of people whose fates change with him.
33
Triplets were born
But they all have autism
@ Triplet Mom
"In the past, my family always said that I couldn't bear the pain, but now I think no one can eat the hardships."
When I gave birth to triplets, my relatives and friends all looked at me with envy, my grandfather was still happy to the point of tears, and wherever my three daughters went, the neighbors ran to watch behind.
At that time, I thought that with them, I could gladly accept all the suffering. But the moment the children were all diagnosed with suspected autism, my beliefs collapsed. How much I enjoyed the envious eyes of others at that time, how much I was afraid of their strange eyes now.
Why all three, even if it's a healthy daughter!
The doctor suggested that we immediately find an agency to intervene, but my husband and I were very evasive, unable to believe, and even rejected the three words of autism on the Internet, we did not dare to think about the future of the three sisters, afraid that they would not be able to take care of themselves in the future.
34
My son wrote songs for the Winter Olympics
Mom was worried about his self-care
@ Jiao Shengmin
"When the Olympic flame is lit again, we meet here, although you and I are thousands of miles apart, we are strangers to each other but familiar with each other..."
This is the song "We Are Together" written by xiao Ke, an autistic boy, for the Winter Olympics.
My mother is very proud of her son's achievements today, but she is still worried that he will not be able to take care of himself.
"I don't want my son to be a genius, I hope he is an ordinary person, I even dream that he is an ordinary person." 」 Xiao Ke is not independent now, we can't accompany him for a lifetime, in fact, it is still quite difficult for him to survive in society. ”
35
The doctor was escorted two months later
A senior girl diagnosed with autism
@Ece
Last fall, Ece, a 20-year-old senior, was driving at 3x speed.
Just in September, she obtained a direct doctoral qualification from a well-known research institute in China - after graduating from the undergraduate, she directly pursued a doctoral degree as a doctoral student.
Two months later, however, she was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome at Beijing Anding Hospital. The autistic traits that have plagued her for years have since found the answer.
Over the past 20 years, her family has never suspected her mental development problems. She began to talk at the age of half a year, went to primary school at the age of 5, was a top student from kindergarten, has always been "someone else's child", basically did not let her parents worry about learning, and was admitted to 211 University.
However, she often lives in anxiety, and social and life are always in a situation. Growing up, she had no friends and wouldn't make friends.
36
Never melt into kindergarten
To become a college bully as an ass girl
@Muyang Mom
Muyang's mother graduated from the special education major and has been engaged in the special education industry for many years, while Muyang's father has been studying the psychological and educational development of ordinary children.
Therefore, When Muyang was very young, Muyang's parents noticed her differences - she couldn't talk, couldn't walk, behaved rigidly, liked to stare at the wheels and so on.
Before assperger was diagnosed, Mu Yang's parents began to train her, and they would often take her out to increase her knowledge.
Mu Yang, a 22-year-old Asperger girl, is a proper college bully, just graduated from college this year, sunny and optimistic, and widely loved by people around her.
37
Resigned from the annual salary of 300,000
The mother intervened with her son full-time for 5 years
@Xiaowen Mom
Xiaowen was a typical autistic child with language, cognitive, and social impairments, and after Five years of full-time intervention by Xiaowen's mother, she had become a school student who was skilled in housework, traveled independently, and could integrate normally into the school.
38
I was the kid who was considered unwanted
But my family is very happy
She is Finn, a girl with a high suspicion of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) who has been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder).
As a child, she had symptoms that matched the diagnosis of spectrum disorders, such as social disturbances, sensory abnormalities, precocious language, poor coordination, and so on. But thanks to her parents' care and her own efforts, she is now living a good life, becoming a master's student in rehabilitation counseling in the United States, raising a cat, enjoying yoga, travel, baking, mobile photography, history, sociology, and occasionally writing articles.
She said that "I should be recognized and respected as an ordinary young person who strives to be self-motivated, not sympathized as a "surviving defective product." ”
"My mom is a fairly intelligent woman who deserves to be respected and respected as a strong woman and a good mother, not sympathetic for 'insisting on raising an undesirable child,' too." ”
Finishing | grapefruit ice cream in summer
Editor-in-chief | Qin Yu