Autism, also known as autism. Presenting characteristics are: social disorders, communication disorders, stereotyped behaviors, etc. Unlike Down syndrome, which can be screened out during pregnancy, there is no effective way to detect autism in advance, often waiting for children to be discovered after two to three years old, while most children with autism are accompanied by intellectual disabilities and affect life. Some say they are "children from the stars", twinkling alone in the dark night sky, unwilling to be disturbed by the outside world.
The narrator of this issue, Xia Ying, is the mother of a child with autism. In early 2019, her son Rui Rui was diagnosed with suspected autism and total developmental delay, and a once-happy family has since fallen into the abyss of despair. In the face of her son, who was unstable, could not speak, and could not recognize her parents and father, Xia Ying's heart was like a knife, and she often washed her face with tears.
"Women are weak, mothers are strong", in the face of the challenge of fate, Xia Ying did not flinch, chose to "save herself", and lived an unprecedented brave and strong self. Now, she has another title, "Rui Rui Mom", as the parents of autistic children she once helped, are used to calling her, a title that is like a symbol, reminding her to carry more autistic families along the way with difficulty and determination.
Xia Ying's family
My name is Xia Ying, and I am the leader of the "Rui Rui Mother Intervention Companion Camp". The first thing I do when I wake up every morning is to say a good morning greeting in the group. Every day I share what I've learned so that parents of autistic children can learn more about treatments, and every day I answer questions one-on-one so that parents can find the right treatment for their children faster.
In 2020, a Tibetan father from Sichuan came to me, and he said that the medical conditions in his hometown were very backward, he did not know what autism was, and treated children who behaved differently from ordinary people as mental patients, and suppressed the disease by taking medicine and injections. After listening to it, I was so surprised that I couldn't even imagine how inferior and sad a child with an autism would feel after being treated like a mentally ill person. I told him everything I had learned and rewarded him with as much time and money as possible. Rehabilitation after the transformation of the methodology has also proved useful. The next night, I received a message from him that because he was Tibetan and couldn't play Chinese characters, he sang a Tibetan song to express his gratitude to me. His singing voice is really natural and simple, although I can't understand a word, but I know that he is praying for me, blessing my children to recover, and blessing my family to be healthy. Listening to his song, I wept silently, and at that moment I felt that I was not living for myself. In the future, for the sake of my son, for the sake of my family, for the sake of parents who are walking in the dark like me, I will study hard, do a good job of self-management, and make myself better.
One person can go very fast; a group of people can go farther. In the community, I poured out my learning and shared the knowledge of intervention for autistic children, but also to let parents take fewer detours and see hope, so that more autistic children can find their own treatment methods as soon as possible and integrate into society as soon as possible.
In Xia Ying's WeChat group
Almost all of it is intervention knowledge shared by families of people with autism
Yes, my child is also a "child from the stars", and when I learned of this situation three years ago, my family and I couldn't believe it and couldn't face it. Looking at such a child every day, my spirit almost collapsed, often walking on the road and starting to cry, crying when eating, and waking up to find that my pillow towel was already soaked. To tell a joke, one day I went out with our leader to visit the company, he was driving, I sat next to me and suddenly began to cry, crying too much to help myself. Because he was a male leader, he was overwhelmed at once, and seeing that he was about to go to the door of someone else's enterprise, he joked: "You look like this, others think I bullied you." ”
Before the child was diagnosed, my family suffered a bigger blow: my father, the spiritual pillar of the family, was left with serious sequelae due to myocardial infarction and inability to work, so he relied on my mother to accompany him all the time to take care of him. Before, I always complained to my father that my burden was very heavy, and the monthly expenditure of 20,000 pressed me breathlessly, but now, it is my father who can't breathe... He lived a very painful life, because the heart is not good for a long time in a state of hypoxia, poor blood circulation can only eat less and vegetarian for a long time, but he also lived for 5 years. He insisted on living to this day in order to continue to support the family spiritually and financially. He told the doctor: "Once I am gone, the pressure on my girl is too great, how can my grandson survive in society..."
In fact, like many patients' families, I also tried to find a "panacea" for the treatment of children, going back and forth to many hospitals, conducting earpiece training, language training, etc., and even learned about the acupuncture treatment of Chinese medicine, and the effect can be said to be minimal. Eventually I discovered that only education and love were the cure for him. Although the process of education is very long, on this road of intervention, our family has worked together to encourage each other and strive to become the most solid backing of Rui Rui. In this way, Rui Rui learned from scratch like a newborn baby, learned to wave goodbye, learned to pick up a cup and drink water, learned to distinguish colors, learned to urinate on his own, learned to eat when he was hungry, learned to cry out in pain when he was uncomfortable, and most gratifyingly, he learned to call Dad and Mom. Our Rui Rui is very hard, never said that he is not willing to go to class, even if the distance is far, even if he stands on the subway for more than an hour every day, even if he has some small emotions in his heart, he will definitely persevere.
Rei is receiving behavioral interventions
In the past few years, although our family has worked hard in one direction, it has also encountered storms. In May 2019, I flew alone from Wuhan to Qingdao to attend a training course for parents with autism. I had great hopes for this trip, but I didn't expect that it was a journey of twists and turns, and even made me almost unable to come back. My heart was not as good as my father's, on the plane to Qingdao, I encountered a bump in the strong air current, my heart was tight and I had a feeling of suffocation, and various physical discomforts caused infinite pessimism and despair in my heart. Fortunately, the body survived and got off the plane safely. Halfway through my studies, I received a phone call from my father, saying that my mother had been scolded out of the house by my mother-in-law. All of a sudden I had a nervous breakdown. However, in order to accompany Rui Rui for intervention treatment, my mother left my seriously ill father and lived with my in-laws in a rental house near the rehabilitation institution. I know that everyone is under great mental and financial pressure, but my mother-in-law vented this emotion on my mother, accusing and even insulting my mother, making my mother cry and leave the rental house. When I think of the grievances suffered by my mother, all the negative emotions instantly come to my heart, and I really lose the courage to live. On the same day, he went to the supermarket to buy a knife and prepared to end his life in Qingdao. Fortunately, I met a parent who was also from Wuhan, Xuanxuan's mother, who invited me to dinner, and we were at the dinner table
Drinking Tsingtao beer, telling each other about their hearts, I usually never drink alcohol, under the influence of alcohol, took out the prepared knife and told her: I am ready to finish this meal to end my life. She saw my vulnerability, called me selfish, scolded me for not thinking about my children and parents. This scolding of her woke me up, and slowly I gave up the idea of taking my own life, and later I became stronger and more energetic with her encouragement.
After I returned to Wuhan, I discussed with my husband how to face this matter. Not long after, through his work, my mother-in-law took the initiative to apologize to my mother, and my mother-in-law and I slowly found a mode of getting along, and the family continued to work hard in one direction.
We accept the child's unusualness, but we strive to make him live an ordinary life. And I know very well that only if I am better, my children will get better and better. So I started learning to manage my time, making a daily clock-in plan, and I went to the gym to work out and let myself read more and learn more. Now I insist on exercising at least 15 days a month, secreting dopamine will also make me happy and stabilize my emotions; I insist on getting up early to study, reading more than 80 books a year, insisting on learning behavioral intervention knowledge, accumulating theoretical knowledge. Another name for miracles is hard work, and I work hard to set an example for my children.
Filling up the daily life has become Xia Ying's habit
This is the story of me and Rui Rui, our family, the reason why I want to share this with you today is to hope that Rui Rui and more autistic children can get more understanding and love, and I hope that everyone will not cast a different look when they meet them. This helps them to let down their guard and feel that society is accepting them.
Rei receptively undergoes professional behavioral intervention
The Spring Festival is coming, I hope that Rui Rui will work harder in the new year, be healthy, and hope that I can help more families out of confusion. The road ahead is still very long, and I hope that children will enter ordinary schools as soon as possible, integrate into society, be a person who contributes to society, and realize their own life value!
Xia Ying, a small man, always has a smile on her face, which makes people feel like a spring breeze. It's hard to imagine what happened to her, and it's hard to imagine how she walked through a life of pain and pain, and lived herself as a light.
Xia Ying said that along the way, her heart was like wearing armor, and the swords and guns could not penetrate and the poison could not be invaded. Listening to her description like this, it was very painful, but it was even more touching for her strength.
When Rui Rui first called out to his mother, the first time he knew the difference, he waved and said "byebye"; When many autistic families join hands on the road, encouraging each other, hugging each other to keep warm... Every growth and every word of gratitude is the light in Xia Ying's heart and the strength to move forward bravely.
For autistic families, it is not an easy task to come out and tell their own story. Xia Ying stood up and told us as "Rui Rui Mother" that please give Rui Rui and more autistic children understanding and love, and let kindness and love light up the world of "star children".
Narrate Xia Ying
Made way one
Edited by Xu Man, Song Lijuan, Liu Qinqin, Wu Yang, Wen Li
Reviewed by Li Junzhen and Liu Shuang
Producer Hong Yan Zhou Zhenling Wen Yong
Produced by Hubei Voice Audio Project Department
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