We all know that educating children should be "gentle and firm."
But the matter of parenting is really "one listen to it, and once you do it, you will waste it." One of the things that makes many moms angry is:
I don't want to yell at the baby!
At the beginning, I also told him well!
But I've really said it many times! He always makes the same mistake!
Children always have these times: they make mistakes over and over again. Once or twice, I can bear it, but over time, even the most temperamental mother can't help but roar.
Why do children always make the same mistake? Is it mischievous and specially raised the bar with the mother?
Moms are thinking wrong! Come and find out the truth.
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The culprit of children always making the same mistakes turned out to be...
1
It may have something to do with the brain
According to the Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Connerman mentioned in the book "Fast Thinking and Slow Thinking", there are two different thinking systems in the brain: "fast thinking" and "slow thinking".
The quick thinking system represents intuitive thinking, which is emotional and relies on intuition;
The slow thinking system represents logical thinking, which is slower and good at logical analysis.
Children always make the same mistake, that is, they are affected by the "fast thinking" system, which is mainly controlled by the prefrontal lobe of the brain.
The prefrontal lobe development of young children is not fully mature, so many children always make mistakes, in fact, the "slow thinking" system controlled by the prefrontal lobe has not yet fully functioned.
2
The problem may be with adults
If the child is knowingly committing the crime, then the problem may be with the adults – the repeated criticism of the parents strengthens the child's rebellious psychology.
Generally speaking, when a child makes a mistake, parents usually first accuse the child of mistakes, and then tell the child what not to do, such as: can not hit people, can not make a temper and so on. But parents rarely tell their children what to do and how to do it right.
Parents' repeated repetition of mistakes, blindly criticizing children, may make children do the opposite.
In addition, I want to make the baby remember sex without hitting or scolding
These 3 methods can also be done by mom!
Eat a long and wise, and carry your own pot yourself
Many times, the child repeats the mistake because he does not know what the negative impact of this matter is. Therefore, within a safe range, children can bear the consequences of doing something wrong.
For example, if a child often throws toys around, he can take care of them himself.
Moms can even "play tricks" – such as hiding a few of their child's favorite blocks. When the child can't find the mother next time, the mother can take the opportunity to guide the child to reflect: last time you did not clean up the toys, then the toys are easy to "lose".
Give your child a chance to think
Moms and dads can also give their children the opportunity to think and guide them to extend their imagination to the consequences of doing something wrong.
For example, when the child is picking flowers and grass outside, the mother can remind the child:
If you pluck the flower, what happens to the flower?
The flower will hurt, and eventually it will wither, and you will not see it when you come here again;
If everyone took away the flowers, what would the garden look like in the future?
……
Finally, tell your child the right thing to do – take care of the environment and protect the flowers so that you can see them every day in the future.
3
Rules should be "consistent"
Many parents often say to their children that eating sugar is not good, but "if you are obedient, give sugar to eat" is a commonly used "reward means", then in the eyes of children, eating sugar is good or bad, it is not clear.
Therefore, when parents guide their children, they must be consistent with words and deeds. The rules and regulations should be consistent.
In fact, it is inevitable for children to make the same mistakes repeatedly in the process of growing up. Using the right way to guide children is actually the "growth course" of parents and mothers.
I hope that parents can find the most suitable answer for their children in the "curriculum" and "graduate with high scores" with their children!