Wen/Lan Mama on parenting
Parents love for the far-reaching, unfortunately in reality most of the parents are easy to walk into a misunderstanding, that is, learning performance determines life, although the academic performance is a person's excellent feedback, but the grade is not the whole of the child's life, can continue to output value is a person's value and great wisdom embodiment, such as children may have primary school grades to be strengthened, but after hard work, middle school grades began to grow counter-attack, this kind of mid-way change of counterattack achievements is derived from the child's growth on the road to the change of mentality.
It can be said that a good mentality change is reflected in the child's character, vision, goals and habits, etc., these mentalities are far more important than the child's test paper score, to know that the score score is only a by-product of the child after doing these things well, want to do a good job of starting the starting point and mentality plan is very important, only usually maintain good habits and conduct is still worried about the child's learning is not in the state?
When a father attended the parent-teacher conference, he was named "the parents of the worst students in our class were invited to speak on stage", and the father took a calm step to the stage and calmly said, "First choice, thank you for inviting me to the stage in this way, secondly, my child has a name, he is not called the worst student, finally, the child's poor academic performance is not unforgiving, I believe he needs the encouragement of teachers and parents more."
After this remark, the parents in the audience have praised this parent, some are worshipful, some are relieved that students can meet a good father, in fact, raising children is a path of practice for parents and children to grow together, parents' behavior attitude and character vision directly determine the height of the child's life, especially in the face of the child's learning this matter The parent's attitude is very important, can take the child's growth as the goal, for the habit of behavior of the great wisdom of the education experience, once the child is not far behind.
For example, the parent mentioned above, don't look at his child is currently a poor student in the class, but this father's view of the child's character will directly affect the child's learning attitude, to know that the child also has self-esteem, they also need to be recognized and discovered, when the child is suddenly named in front of the public, the parents' maintenance not only defends the child's dignity, but also provides them with a reason and motivation to work hard, so compared to the child's academic performance, habitual character is the embodiment of great wisdom in growth.
How to improve your child's character vision? Parents are advised to start with the following 4 things:
1, the road should be left to the child to walk
On the path of educating children, all the "far-reaching plans" given to children by parents are not as good as the children themselves to experience, to know that sooner or later children have to live independently and face difficulties, even if parents love their children and are reluctant to let their children suffer, it is impossible to take care of their children's life thoroughly, and each road requires children to move forward independently to accumulate experience, exercise courage, and finally embody great wisdom under the influence of good habits and highly characterized conduct.
The road needs to rely on the child to walk, no matter how difficult the road is, the courage to experience in order to find the feeling of the second step in the first step, in order to better play the positive motivation of the child's "independent walking", it is recommended that parents with conditions take their children to open their eyes, such as holiday travel, interest competitions, calligraphy training, social etiquette, etc., these broad horizons can effectively improve the child's independence and increase insight.
2, when encountering people, we must remember that there is a "courtesy" to go all over the world
Just as the so-called "reaching out and not hitting the smiley face person", many times "reasonable all over the world" is not wrong, but the reality is "who wants to listen to your big truth"? Especially those who think that they know everything and have a profound knowledge of the great truth, it seems that the export is chapters and endless, in fact, the indoctrination of these great truths is easy to cause disgust, after all, many times it is not the "truth" that can be persuaded, especially the emotional event principle can not be personally experienced, let alone feel the helplessness of others.
In fact, the reason why bad things are bad when encountering people is that the way of understanding between people is different, different ways of understanding will bring different emotions and attitudes to vent, and we only need to learn to "say good words", have "etiquette" to go all over the world, many times it is not your big truth can not impress others, nor is your method suggestion not perfect, but the attitude of speaking determines the acceptance of the other party, if we usually say more "thank you", "please ask", "okay", do you think"... You will find that these "polite" behaviors make communication easier and more effective.
3, do things to learn to leave room
A child went home and told his mother: "Mom, today we lost the tug-of-war competition, we blame xx students for dragging their legs, the teacher did not criticize but encouraged him, we all felt that the teacher was deliberately biased", the mother gently told the child after listening to it, "Baby, if you are the student who drags the legs, what do you want the teacher and classmates to say", the child thought about it and said "I don't want to drag my feet...".
Subsequently, the mother touched the child's head and said, "Yes, we must learn to leave room for doing things, in case we are the one who drags our legs next time, you comfort and encourage others this time, maybe the next time you are frustrated, there will be more classmates to comfort you?" ", learn to let children leave room for themselves in everything, be a warm-hearted and positive energy of the great wisdom, this is not only the improvement of social emotional intelligence, but also the accompanying confidant of life, to know that none of us can avoid making mistakes, but on the way to make mistakes, there is always someone to pull a hand is lucky.
4, do not need to please everyone, do yourself
Excellent, perfect, just like the stars in the sky seem to be close at hand but difficult to touch, and everything is too full of losses, we do not need to please everyone when educating children to let children do their own well, everyone's excellent definition is different, each child's ability to accept is also different, only let the child do a good job in order to play the potential, especially when the child looks at others with envy, parents should have insight into the emotional needs of children.
For example, the child goes home and says "I have scored 100 points at the same table every time, and I have won several awards", this envy is actually the emotional needs of the child who is eager to be encouraged, if the parents encourage more and find some of the child's excellence, such as "Your reading voice is very loud, if you memorize and master the notes and important knowledge points every day, I believe that your grades will get better and better", every excellent discovery, every encouragement speech, is a hope for the child, may every child be willing and gain!
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I am Lan Ma, focusing on the analysis of the parenting field author, with personal examples, a variety of family education examples, to record the moment of parenting feelings, like friends, welcome to pay attention to @ Lan Mama talk about parenting together to learn and grow together!