Author: Mom Team
Source: Painting Lala Children's Art (ID: hualala61)
Every child grows up with the compulsory course of making mistakes, and parents are the responsible teachers of this compulsory course.
The mom team watched a variety show some time ago, and did not expect to be fanned by Ying Caier.
Her parenting style, in particular, is textbook-
For example, when her son Jasper makes a mistake, her handling method makes people can't help but give a thumbs up!
Here's the thing: in the show, Jasper deleted the footage filmed by the show team because he didn't buy the Flash's clothes.
Ying Cai'er was very angry after knowing the reason, and such a deletion is likely to affect the normal shooting progress of the program group.
But even if she was very angry, Ying Cai'er did not blindly accuse and lose her temper, but only asked her son for reasons for doing so.
And told Jasper: "You can delete things from your own iPad, but you can't delete things from other people's devices." ”
After being lectured by his mother, Jasper did not even eat, went upstairs with grievances, returned to the room, and covered his head with a quilt to calm down.
The next scene made the mother team in front of the screen completely moved.
He first picked up the walkie-talkie to communicate with the director to explain, and then after calming down, he ran out of the room and said "I'm sorry" to the cameras in all corners of the house.
Jasper's high emotional intelligence and problem-solving skills are vividly reflected in this one thing -
There is no evasion, no excessive self-blame, and knows how to take the initiative to bear the consequences for their wrong actions.
In fact, the child is a mirror of the parents, and the child's performance is good or bad, all from the influence of the parents.
Especially when a child makes a mistake, the parent's attitude and handling will determine where the child goes.
When a child makes a mistake
The biggest fear is that parents are out of control
The mom team once saw a shocking news on Weibo.
In Taizhou, Zhejiang Province, a child did not complete his homework, and his angry father took him to the penalty station in front of the Taigong Tomb.
Not only that, the father also took the child's shoes, and he blocked the way down the mountain to prevent the child from going down the mountain.
Ten minutes later, a stunning scene occurred:
The child who was still standing there and the penalty station disappeared after his father answered a phone call.
At this time, the father began to worry about the child, so he immediately called the police.
But the mountains were pitch black, and the road was not easy to walk, so everyone shouted the child's name while searching.
It took forty minutes for the child to be found by the SWAT who had rushed to support him.
When found, the child was crying and trembling, barefoot, which was painful.
As soon as this news came out, the comments of netizens were also fried.
Dad thinks that using such a simple and rude method can let the child recognize and reflect on his mistakes.
But in the middle of the night, the empty cemetery, a dark field, even adults feel panicked, let alone a weak and lonely child?
Moreover, the discipline under this kind of out-of-control emotion not only has no educational effect, but also easily brings irreparable harm to children.
I still remember that the news of "the mother accidentally killed her 12-year-old daughter and was sentenced to ten years" once caused a sensation on the Internet, and even appeared on the hot search, attracting the attention of nearly 500 million people.
It is said that mother and son are connected, what is the reason why the mother killed her own daughter?
It turned out that the mother suspected that her daughter had stolen 28 yuan from herself, and in order to teach her daughter a lesson, she took a plastic massage board from the shoe cabinet and repeatedly hit the back of her daughter's large and small legs, palms and other parts.
At 11 o'clock that night, relatives found that the child was not quite right, so they sent him to the hospital for treatment.
But unfortunately, the child was not rescued in the end.
During the trial, the mother wept bitterly the whole time, saying that she lived in pain and regret every day and could not forgive her behavior.
As a parent, I believe that this mother definitely did not mean to hurt her child, but just wanted to discipline her daughter.
But discipline under the control of emotions, if not careful, will lead to tragedy, which is not a wake-up call for us?
Allow children to make mistakes
It is to give children the opportunity to grow
A while ago, Sun Li posted a paragraph on Weibo, which attracted 70,000 likes from netizens.
On Weibo, Sun Li said that she had stipulated that she could not play video games from Monday to Friday. But this afternoon, waiting to see that my mother was not at home, I couldn't help but play the game for a while.
After Sun Li returned home, she took the initiative to admit her mistake to her mother, and then said nervously, hoping that her mother would not talk about him.
Surprisingly, Sun Li was not displeased, let alone angry, but because of the honesty of waiting, he was rewarded with playing for another 20 minutes.
After listening to it, I was stunned and very happy...
Someone left a message sighing: "Even if the average family takes the initiative to admit their mistakes, they will be scolded, let alone rewards." ”
It is true that when children make mistakes, many parents can't help but scold their children first, but in fact, we must know that many children are panicked after making mistakes.
At this time, the parents' reprimand will only increase the child's psychological burden and destroy his sense of security.
Therefore, we often see that some children do something wrong and dare not tell their parents, and they suffer in silence, and sometimes even lead to tragedy.
Last year, a nine-year-old child jumped off a building and committed suicide, shocking the Internet.
Before jumping off the building, he left a brief suicide note telling his grandmother:
"I accidentally broke the school glass, I knew things were done wrong, I chose to jump off the building to apologize."
After investigation, the nine-year-old boy accidentally broke the glass of the school and needed to compensate 600 yuan, but the child did not dare to tell his family, so he chose an extreme way to apologize.
This note full of pinyin and typos is enough to illustrate the child's innocence, and no one can imagine how he felt when he picked up a pen and wrote this "suicide note".
But what is certain is that in the child's heart, the "punishment" for smashing a piece of glass has overcome the courage to jump down from the 17th floor!
How desperate!
I am reminded of a saying in "Original Family" that children should have the right to make mistakes and correct them.
Therefore, when a child makes a mistake, it is very important to let the child know that making a mistake is not a big deal.
Even if he makes mistakes, his parents will still accept him, always stand on his side, face him together, and work together to find ways to solve problems and correct mistakes.
Wise parents
Know how to do this when your child makes a mistake
The writer Shenchovich said: "If every child can have a 'gentle hand' guiding him forward. Instead of kicking him in the chest with his feet, then education can better fulfill its mission. ”
When a child makes a mistake, immediately blaming or blindly shirking is not a good way to deal with it.
Parents may wish to try the following methods:
1. Wait to calm down and explain what is wrong with the child
In the show, Ying Caier controlled his emotions for the first time after Jasper made a mistake, did not scold and hit, did not tell a big truth, but explained to Jasper why he could not delete these videos.
Later, at the table, she did not question again, but began to eat herself, and when Jasper left the table, she did not force him to eat.
She gives the child the space to reflect, but also gives the child the opportunity and confidence to solve the problem.
After calming down, Jasper realized his mistake and apologized for his actions.
2. Bear the consequences and be responsible for your own actions
There was a news before that a child picked up a lot of stones and scratched the cars of many neighbors in the community. When my mother found out, she seriously told him that this was an act that harmed the interests of others, and wrote an apology letter with him, going door to door to apologize.
After getting forgiveness from the neighbors, the mother told the child: "Uncles and aunts forgive you because they are kind, not because you are doing the right thing." ”
In the mother's teaching, the child really recognizes his mistake and promises not to do it again next time.
It is not terrible for children to make mistakes, it is important that after making mistakes, parents should teach their children the courage to admit their mistakes and be willing to make up for them and take responsibility.
3. Hug afterwards and give comfort
When talking about his education for his daughter Little D, big J said:
I often remind myself that if Little D realizes the problem and calms down after making a mistake, I will definitely give her a big loving hug.
In fact, the hug of the parents will make the guilty child feel that although he has made a mistake, his parents love me.
This behavior not only comforts the child, but also makes the child not afraid to make mistakes in the future, and is even more afraid of recognizing mistakes.
Many children are reluctant to admit their mistakes or run away from them to extremes because they have never been truly accepted.
Write at the end:
Whether a child can successfully pass the test lies in how parents treat mistakes.
May we all be able to be not extreme, not excited, find a better solution, and help children grow up happily.
Congratulations to all of you.
This article is transferred from The Painting Cheer Children's Art (ID:hualala61):(1)Free Children's Painting Class (2)Practical Kindergarten Handmade Guide (3)Share Art Enlightenment Dry Goods every day, BaoMa's parenting artifact.