There are many girls, the conditions are good, but when it comes to love, it will basically not exceed a year.
They began to complain that they were unlucky, complaining that they were "scum physique", and gradually lost confidence in love.
However, in the relationship, is it really just by luck? Why are so many girls in the world, only you are the only one who is "encountering scum physique"?
The real reason is not here, it may be that we fall into the "love misunderstanding", getting deeper and deeper, until we can't recognize the truth of the matter.
So what are the common love misunderstandings of girls?
1, the boy 'pursuit of his own performance' as his "normal in love"
Let's imagine that when we date a boy we like, the makeup will be more refined, the way we talk will be more gentle, and whether we always want to behave better in front of him.
yes.
I believe that every girl will subconsciously make herself behave better when she meets a boy she likes and is not yet together.
This is also true for boys.
When a boy has not fully chased a girl, he must be doing his best to show his best side in order to win the girl's favor.
It's just that this short-term pursuit is not the norm for you to get along in the future.
It is impossible for a person to carefully maintain an optimal state at all times, and everyone will be tired.
As long as the boy is single-minded and responsible after falling in love with you, and is willing to communicate with you to solve problems when you encounter problems, he is a boy who is worth your continued relationship with.
Girls don't expect boys to maintain the excitement and enthusiasm of the stage of pursuing you during a long relationship, which is really unrealistic.
If a girl who has been holding this kind of thinking is not only easy to miss the boy who really treats herself, but even every relationship may not end.
2, think that boys love themselves to be for themselves
Change all
Falling in love is not about letting a person lose his "self", but about perfecting his "self".
Two people who are inherently different must be different in life and habits, and we have no way to demand that all of each other's preferences be exactly the same as ours.
The growth environment and living environment of the two people from childhood are not the same, and the personality formed and the things they pursue are naturally different.
As long as it is not a major mistake in principle, we must uphold the attitude of "seeking common ground while reserving differences".
Allow the other person to have his own preferences, allow the other party to have his own choices, even if you don't like it, but at least his habits will not hurt you.
Like what
He likes to ask friends to drink two small drinks on weekends, but he will not be drunk and unconscious;
He can't quit smoking, but he can do it without smoking in front of you, not smoking in the room, trying not to let you smell nasty smoke;
He has to take an hour a day to play games, but he doesn't play games alone when you have something to ask for or accompany you;
Although he retains the habit that you don't like so much, he can control it without hurting you, so please allow him to have his own hobbies.
As long as both people have the heart to think about each other, the relationship can be maintained, rather than one party constantly asking the other to make changes.
3, think that boys spend how much money for themselves
Love yourself how deeply you are
Judging whether a man loves you or not cannot be measured by how much money he can spend for you at this stage, but depends on whether he is willing to spend money for you within his ability.
Of course, those who are not willing to spend money for you will certainly not love you.
For example:
We can't ask a boy who earns 10,000 yuan a month to spend 10,000 yuan a month for himself, or spend five or six thousand yuan a month for himself, which is often the case, in exchange for what no one can eat.
It's okay to buy a gift with an important focus once in a while.
Because at the same time of falling in love, he also has the consumption of social circles such as family and friends, his living expenses and other fixed expenses, and at the same time he also has to consider the practical factors of buying a house and buying a car, and his ten thousand yuan a month may need to be divided into several parts to plan these things.
Therefore, girls who blindly think that boys love you as much as they spend for you will only let themselves fall into the "vanity misunderstanding".
In the matter of spending money, there is only one situation that can judge whether the boy loves you or not:
When your life has undergone major changes, causing you to be in financial embarrassment for a while, and your object has the ability to solve problems for you in terms of money, but he is indifferent, it proves that he really does not love you.
The person who truly loves you will reach out to you when you really need help, rather than satisfying your usual nonsensical willful consumption.
When girls are in love, they must rationally analyze the situation at the current stage, do not "see the wind is rain", and do not listen to the poisonous chicken soup that "the boyfriend has to do everything for me to love me".
Feelings are a matter of two people, and it should be two people working each other.