Ask everyone such a question, what is the most feared thing about two people together?
There should be many kinds of answers, but I think the most frightening thing should be to snub. People are actually afraid of loneliness, and no one is willing to enjoy loneliness.
When he encounters happy or unhappy things, he also wants to find someone to share. As we will all say, a two-way relationship is the best.
So why is this mode of getting along the best, because they can think of each other, and most importantly, they don't snub each other.
You know, the feelings of two people, the most feared is to be snubbed. For example, when I want to share something with you, one of your sentences that I am busy with right now pours out all my information. For example, I said I was tired, you said everyone was tired, so I didn't say anything more, and we all snubbed all of this.
When you accumulate enough snubs, then the parting is not far away. You know, when a relationship starts, no one wants to give up.
Sometimes I leave, not because I don't love anymore, but because I have accumulated enough disappointment. It's like seeing a story like this.
Once I had a clingy boyfriend who wanted to share his life with me all the time and asked me every day for a good morning, good afternoon, good night, and eat? What are you doing? Every five or five times they want to ask me out and watch movies.
At first, I really liked this feeling, but as we spent more and more time together, I began to feel unbearable.
So one day I gently told him that he also needed to have his own life, and he didn't have to tell me everything and report to me. Maybe that's what I wanted, and he did listen to it.
On the first day, he still asked me what I was doing, as before. Eat it? Learned about my situation today. It's just that I may have acted a little tired at the time.
So the next day, he began to consciously reduce contact with me, just asking me when I was resting, or videotaping with me in the evening.
A week later, he really started to stick to me less, the WeChat contact started to become less, and he didn't video chat with me every day.
After two weeks, our interactions were basically flat, and he wouldn't contact me and I wouldn't contact him. At that time, I also enjoyed this life and could do my own thing.
A month later, it seems like I'm getting used to this kind of contact.
A month and a half later, I started contacting him and asking him why he didn't contact me, and he said he was afraid that the contact would disturb me, and at that moment my heart ached.
Two months later, our contact did not have a second back, and as soon as he contacted him, he said that he had made an appointment with a friend.
Three months later, when we finally met, we didn't know what to say, because I didn't know what had happened to him recently, and he didn't know what had happened to me recently. In the end, our feelings became weaker and weaker.
The reason for all this is that the attitude of the two people has become more and more indifferent. I want to contact you, but I'm afraid it will disturb you. So the connection became less, and the feelings became weaker. Feelings unconsciously enter a "burnout period".
At this time, we need to find out in time and solve the problem in time, otherwise the problem will accumulate more and more. After all, we all know that feelings are a matter for two people, and the longer the snub, the lower the sense of security for two people.
A good relationship is the need for each other to give each other enough security, especially "emotional security". Simply put, the two of you take care of each other's emotions. Every time he cares about you, your tolerance for him, is an integral part of that emotional sense of security.
When this emotional security deviates, then it means that one party has begun to snub the other. So, when we're together, we have to find a suitable way to get along.
Especially in the beginning, everyone is the same, and they all have a strong desire to share. And this desire to share for a long time may be regarded as possessiveness and be said to be bored by others. At this time, what we have to do is to actively adjust. Instead of simply reducing communication.
Therefore, in a relationship, we must remember not to treat others in a snubbed way. After all, people are afraid of being left out in the cold, and they treat feelings in this way. In the end, it can only make your feelings become weaker and weaker. You say yes or no.
Wen | Ming floating life
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