Text/Yangcheng Evening News all-media reporter Lin Qingqing
Correspondent Sun Bingqian
What should I do if my child feels anxious when school starts? Huang Quan, deputy chief physician of the Department of Psychology of Guangzhou Red Cross Hospital, told reporters that since the opening of the psychology clinic of Guangzhou Red Cross Hospital in November 2021, the youngest of the children who came to the hospital was 6 years old, and more than 45% of all the children were teenagers. The psychological problems of children and adolescents should be paid attention to.
Children should be vigilant when they have abnormal behavior
Huang Quan introduced that just recently, the hospital's psychological clinic received a teenager - 15-year-old Xiao Luo (pseudonym). The thin Xiao Luo was brought to the doctor by his parents, and his father told Dr. Pang, who received the treatment, with a tired face: "This child often cuts himself with a blade for some reason. As the father lifted his son's sleeve, Dr. Pang was shocked to see that Xiao Luo's arm was covered with deep and shallow knife marks like a fishing net.
Why should a flower teenager be tired and self-injurious? It is understood that Xiao Luo Junior High School enrolled in the key classes of key schools and achieved excellent results, but after failing the middle school entrance examination, the child's pain and guilt were not comforted by his parents, but he was repeatedly blamed and ridiculed. After entering an ordinary high school, the parents' urging and blame did not become the motivation of the son, but made the son's grades more and more unsatisfactory, the child's reaction became slower, his memory deteriorated, and he often could not sleep... Xiao Luo, who is under great psychological pressure and cannot find a way to vent, can only get a moment of "happiness" through self-harm.
"Medically speaking, when self-harm occurs, the human body secretes a transmitter called endorphin, which binds to morphine receptors and produces the same pain and euphoria as morphine and opiates, but this feeling of bliss is very short-lived, so patients often need to repeatedly self-harm." Huang Quan explains.
Most of the children who go to the hospital's psychological clinic have symptoms such as depression and self-injury very early, and if they cannot be found and effectively intervened in time, they are often prone to severe depression or real death. Huang Quan reminded, "In reality, there are indeed many parents, although they find that their children have abnormal behavior, they think that there is a problem with their children's thinking, reprimanding children for 'don't think too much', 'there will be no depression at this age, are you lazy and don't want to go to school', or think that children have some ulterior secrets, try their best to spy on their privacy, etc., which not only does not help children get rid of self-harm behavior, but also can only aggravate their rebellious emotions and psychological pressure." ”
How to identify early on whether a child has a psychological problem?
How should parents identify their children's psychological problems early? Huang Quan said that it can be observed from 5 aspects.
1. Personality change: See if the original optimistic and outgoing child has become less lazy and always hides in the room.
2. Mood changes: Pay attention to whether the child has suddenly become irritable, irritable, and prone to crying recently.
3. Behavior change: pay attention to whether the child has sleep problems, such as insomnia at night, sleepiness during the day, etc.; pay attention to eating problems, whether there is sudden overeating or no appetite; unwillingness to go to school.
5. Pay special attention to children's self-harm and suicidal behavior: When children take the initiative to discuss the topic of death tentatively with their parents, do not prevaricate.
Expert support: reduce confrontation and establish a benign mode of getting along
As their children grow, parents need to learn how to get along with children of different ages. Huang Quan said that there are roughly three ways for parents to get along with their children, and experts recommend adopting a democratic model rather than an authoritarian and laissez-faire model.
"True authority is not to create confrontation, not to be free, but to allow children to accept themselves from the heart, to recognize themselves, to control their lives, and to let them have their own sense of belonging." Huang Quan said, therefore, the real authority is not to make the child obedient, let alone destroy the child's confidence, but to have the ability to help the child realize its sense of value.
When adolescent children have confrontations with their parents, parents must first realize that this is the child's growth path, confrontation is because the child's sense of identification with the parents is reduced, then we need to give the child more autonomy, independent thinking space and the opportunity to take responsibility. Even if the child encounters mistakes or other problems that make parents worry, parents should first calm down and not blame the child at will, understand the child's emotions, and understand the motivation behind the behavior through communication.
If parents can tell their children your feelings and suggestions in a sincere and kind tone, the child will be willing to listen to you. Know that comments and accusations can only create confrontation.
In addition, children may try to pursue a sense of belonging and value in some inappropriate way. These are the ways we see "bad behavior." Parents should judge the ideas behind their children's behavior, find angles worth encouraging, and give appropriate guidance. Children who lack love and support will only reinforce false beliefs and go further and further down the wrong path.
Parents remember: understand, accept and accompany
Huang Quan reminded that even if the child's current performance is far less than the parents expect, parents should not lose control of their emotions. What parents have to do is never give up, accept him, encourage him, and accompany him through the most difficult days. Parents should let their children know: "No matter what, I love you" and "No matter what kind of problems you encounter, I am willing to face it with you".
When it is felt that the child encounters psychological problems and cannot be effectively alleviated after parental adjustment, it is necessary to seek a professional psychologist. For the psychological problems of adolescents, specialists will generally adopt a comprehensive treatment model, using psychological therapy, family therapy, physical therapy and drug treatment programs according to the specific situation. (For more news, please pay attention to Yangcheng Pie pai.ycwb.com)
Source | Yangcheng Evening News Yangcheng Pie
Editor-in-charge | ZHANG Hua