Many mothers say that their children do not like to clean up, and they can only follow behind them and constantly urge.
In this way, the child may pretend to be obedient at the beginning and do a good job to the satisfaction of the adult, but once the adult relaxes and stops staring at them, everything will return to the way it is - the child continues to be lazy, perfunctory, and even "strike".
In "Storage, Children Benefit from a Lifetime of Thinking Finishing Training", the author shared that she found in the course guidance of teaching parent-child tidying that children who do not like to clean up in the eyes of mothers will have one thing in common - they are disgusted by parents' urging, nagging, and oppression, and they lose motivation because of resistance.
Once, the author was in a class at a primary school in Shanghai, and somehow the computer could not connect to the projector, so the author asked the children for help: "Who can help me see which line is connected to the computer?" ”
At that moment, almost the whole class of children invariably told her the correct way to operate.
Looking at the faces full of sincerity and love to help others, a warm current surged into the author's heart, and the first time they met, they had not yet started class and communication, and their hearts were already together!
From this moment, it is not difficult to find that as long as adults sincerely seek help from children, children will be truly willing to participate.
Those children who like to be lazy and perfunctory in the eyes of their parents are actually little angels who want to be seen and respected.
If we can learn to treat our children sincerely, change our tone, and use "magical language," maybe your children will become the "children of others" you imagine.
Let's learn the words that improve your child's engagement!
Pack up your snacks (looking forward to)
Can you help? (Request)
If only you could pack up with me (invited)
O and △, which one do you want to pack first? (Select)
Let's Play Together (Game)
Next time I put it in the weekend to clean up (advance notice)
"Until ×× o'clock" to clean up the desk (specific instructions)
In addition, when many mothers issue tidying instructions to their children, they only say vaguely: Clean up quickly.
This will actually make it difficult for the child to understand, they may not understand what you want him to do, where to start cleaning up? How to pack?
Therefore, parents can be more specific, such as: please clean up your desk, put the books you will bring tomorrow in your bag, and put the other books in the file box. Throw away the trash on the desk, put the toys back in the toy cabinet, and so on.
Finally, let's learn the techniques for increasing your child's engagement and feedback after the end!
It's awesome! Tidy up really clean (specific praise)
Thank you for helping me (thanks)
yes! Packed up so quickly?! (Surprised)
You see, how clean it is (enjoy it together)
It's getting very neat (see)
Some parents may think that it is too polite for family members to talk like this to feel alienated.
We might as well try to treat our children as colleagues, and when a colleague assists you with a job, will you be grateful to your colleague from the bottom of your heart?
Similarly, children are also through the continuous affirmation and encouragement given by parents, in order to continue to strengthen their own value and sense of existence, so do not be stingy with your encouragement to children!
To sum up, first of all, the parents' nagging will not make the child like the finishing, the correct way is to use magic language to enhance the child's interest in tidying up, and secondly, for the effect of the child's help in tidying up, parents should thank you in time and give positive feedback, so as to continue to strengthen the child's sense of value and presence.