Text: Yiping
01
At present, in society, there are only one or two children in ordinary families, and there are very few children more than three, so any one of the children is very expensive, and parents are also very concerned about the education of their children.
At the same time, with the increasing development of network information and the increasing popularity of electronic products such as mobile phones and computers, children's access to information is far more convenient than when their parents were young, so today's young people are far more precocious than when we were young, and they have many different personal views on many things.
Therefore, if you educate your children according to some old traditions, there will often be a relatively big problem.
Parents work hard in the end for the sake of their children, if there is a big problem in the communication with them in the process of children's growth, then the future will have a very negative impact on the future of children and for the harmony of two generations.
There are many parents around us who are over 50 years old and have a hard time pulling their children to adulthood, often lamenting that they have raised a white-eyed wolf, because they cannot get the filial piety of their children, let alone the understanding of their children, and the pain in their hearts is of course unavoidable.
I myself have two and a half years old children, my son is in his third year of high school this year, he is about to take the college entrance examination, and his daughter is also about to enter junior high school, through his own practice and reflection, I found that the reason why many families have raised more rebellious or less obedient children, the problem often appears in parents.
In order to avoid future family tragedies, parents should also study and review their own education methods.
In fact, children really don't have many requirements for their parents.
02 Normal mind
Li Meijin, a famous psychology professor and education expert, has a very good saying:
Grades are important, but that's the teacher's task, and as his parent, your task is to pay attention to his all-round development; to pay attention to how he is doing today, to pay attention to whether he has encountered difficulties.
When the average parent educates the first child, due to lack of experience, they tend to exert too much force, and the requirements for the child are relatively strict, especially in learning.
In the past two years, the national level has been advocating the reduction of the burden on children, of course, it has also reduced the educational costs of parents in disguise, which is really a matter of immeasurable merit.
When the son was young, there were too many cram classes and interest tutoring classes outside the school, and professional training institutions like New Oriental and Xueersi were not cheap, in general, the cost of a single subject and a single semester was about five thousand yuan, and there were many parents who reported more than three tutoring classes for their children, English, painting, music is indispensable.
I remember when my son was in elementary school, the parent of a boy in the class actually reported 6 courses to the child, and the child often had to run more than two tutoring classes after school at night, and when he returned home to finish his homework, it was about eleven o'clock.
Imagine that such a family parents have the opportunity to communicate with their children? Is there a time for children to experience simple happiness? Not to mention building a healthy mental state for your child.
Sadly, the little boy often slept in the classroom since elementary school, because the child was too tired, and after entering high school, he had become a problem teenager, fighting, early love, making his parents very headache, and becoming a negative model of school.
Therefore, parents should have a normal heart at the beginning of their children's education, do not put too much pressure on their children, let them enjoy the process of growth happily, and stimulate the most authentic love for life and life, so that they can achieve unexpected good results.
How can we not be ordinary people ourselves? Why bother with your own children?
03 More companionship
This is easier said than done, especially for rural families.
Because the parents of many rural children have to go out to work all year round in order to support their families, they have to leave their children in their hometowns and let them become left-behind children.
For such a family, I can fully understand, but understanding does not mean approval, because the consequences of this are really problematic, and most parents will regret not being the original in the future!
First of all, the most important thing is that due to the isolation of the two places for a long time, parents will have a great psychological gap with their children and a generation gap that cannot be crossed in a lifetime, resulting in communication between children and parents will not be too smooth throughout their lives.
And the vast majority of children tend to have a rebellious mentality, thinking that their parents don't care about themselves at all, and further produce seeds of resentment in their young minds.
Imagine, how can such a situation talk about gratitude and filial piety to parents in the future?
Secondly, the development of modern society is too fast, putting children at home to let grandparents who can't keep up with the situation discipline according to the education methods of the older generation, they have not grown up and have fallen behind too much on the starting line of life.
And what is even more fatal is that grandparents no longer have the strict treatment of their children for their grandchildren, more connivance and pampering, children grow up in such an environment, often do not understand even the minimum principles of life, and what about self-reliance and self-improvement?
04 Equality and respect
As the saying goes, poor parents in the world, I believe that any parent will nag and nag incessantly during the growth of their children.
Nagging isn't exactly a bad thing.
If you pay attention to the ways and methods, children can actually experience a strong sense of love from the nagging of their parents, but the difficulty lies in the ways and methods of nagging and the proportion of speech.
The primary principle is equality and respect, which is often difficult for many parents, especially men who are fathers, because according to the traditional concept of Chinese, the combination of strict fathers and mothers is the most beneficial to the growth of children, so fathers often have to establish a majestic image in front of their children, which invisibly opens up the distance with their children.
But strict and respectful of children is actually not contradictory, especially when their own views and children have contradictions, they should not reject and deny each other one-size-fits-all, and give children enough space for self-expression.
Further parents will let their children participate in family management, hold family meetings with children regularly, and strive for children's opinions, really do not underestimate these seemingly simple things, because we must understand that no matter how reluctant I am, children will become independent in the future, and there is a high probability that they will live separately from us.
Therefore, only such a regular family atmosphere will allow children to truly learn to be independent and become a responsible person in the future.
As long as we have reached this step, our education for our children is basically successful!
05
I remember the famous educator Ye Shengtao once said a sentence to the effect that:
Parents cannot accompany their children for a lifetime, so cultivating children's sense of independence and social awareness from an early age is the top priority of all family education.
I like this sentence myself.
In fact, this sentence is explained by the more popular words now: if the child wants to become a talent in the future, emotional intelligence is far more important than IQ, and only children with high emotional intelligence can stand on the society and know how to repay their parents.
Parents have a normal heart, will let the child grow up in a carefree, personality will not be so extreme.
Parents can accompany more, so that children feel that they are surrounded by love, and will naturally be a kind person in the future.
Parents can respect their children, so that children can invisibly cultivate their own confidence, which is very important for anyone who is about to break into society.
And a person who has a peaceful mentality and does not go to extremes, but also has self-confidence, and is kind to people, is destined to be able to do a career!
——End of this article——
Thanks for reading and savoring the colorful life together!