Junior high school students do not return home at night, and parents have an indifferent face: and I have found the reason for the child's rebellion

Wen Jie is a second-year student, and in the past, he was also a child who let the teachers worry about it, listened carefully to the lectures in class, and completed the homework carefully. But since the second year of junior high school, Wen Jie seems to have changed as a person, loves to talk to the same table in class, and he is often included in the list of homework that is not handed in. As a homeroom teacher, I was always looking for the reason, what made this child change so much at once, until I had a deep communication with his mother, I found out the reason.

Wen Jie is an only child, the mother is full-time at home to take care of the child, at home is also more spoiled children, they are in the spirit of equal respect for the child's education method, when the child has something to want, basically will meet him. But when the child reaches adolescence, not only has requirements for materials, but also begins to demand freedom for his own behavior and thoughts, which is a normal growth process, but because his mother met Wenjie with everything when he was a child, he went to junior high school, as long as the child has any requirements, whether it is reasonable or not, he will agree.

I was most impressed by the fact that I didn't come to school in the morning and called his mom to ask about the situation, and his mom's reply made me feel very sad about the child. She said, "Teacher, I'm sorry, Wenjie didn't come home last night, I don't know where he went, he should go to school by himself later", I asked Wenjie's mother", "Didn't you contact Wenjie yesterday?" Wen Jie's mother said very calmly, "It's okay, this child is often like this, he will come back himself."

Hearing this sentence, I didn't ask any more questions, from Wenjie's mother's tone, I probably knew that this kind of thing happened frequently, and my mother also felt that it was normal not to return at night.

When I went to school, I heard a word called please parents, and the purpose of asking parents is to ask parents to educate their children together when their children's behavior has exceeded the scope of the teacher's management, but often we will find that there is a parent who ignores the child's problems. Just like Wen Jie, entering puberty will have the need for freedom of behavior and thought, but a teenager's ability to distinguish between right and wrong is still very poor, if everything respects his development, coupled with the influence of bad social trends, it is easy to let children go astray, and now the deterioration of learning habits is just the beginning.

In the process of adolescent growth, as a parent, you should be clear about one thing, the child's bad behavior should be avoided, and the good behavior should be guided to continue to develop. In fact, this is a habit formation process, so adolescent children, parents should give their children what habits to develop, I am here to summarize the three major points of children to form habits.

Establish a sense of time

Like Wenjie night is actually no concept of time, some parents with family rules will set a schedule for their children, when to go home, when to start doing homework, do not need to be too detailed, but will let the child form a concept of what time should be done.

Many parents will say that as soon as the child returns home, he watches TV and looks for food in the refrigerator, which is caused by not developing the concept of time when he was a child; some parents basically do not care about the child, but the child still consciously goes home to do homework, which is the habit developed when he was a child, and when he was a child, he developed his behavior, and he had less to worry about later.

Establish a sense of rules

The ancients often said that "the state has the state law, the family has the family rules", but it is into the modern society, rarely hear the family rules of the family, replaced by the school has school rules, the class has class rules. On the one hand, many people misunderstand that "there are family rules" and regard family rules as disrespectful behavior for children, on the other hand, society has deified teachers, believing that as long as they are strong teachers, they will be able to teach students well, resulting in many parents having the idea of "I teach well, what do I want teachers to do".

But we often forget that parents are the first teachers of children, and the family is the first environment for children to learn. If there is no sense of rules in the first learning environment, then when you go to school and society, you naturally do not have the awareness of following the rules, and it is easy to make mistakes.

Why do teachers have a higher rate of child success? Because whether at school or at home, children grow up under a sense of rules, what can be done and what cannot be done, children have a clear judgment.

Of course, the rules are not too detailed, too detailed children can not be free development, but in some basic rules still have to be there, such as going home at night to rest, respect for elders, respect for teachers and so on.

Develop the habit of being productive

High efficiency and the concept of time should be in line with the concept of time, establish a concept of time to help children know what time should be done, but often although the child began to do, but procrastination. This is actually the child's lack of eagerness for this matter, if you let him play the game, it is fast, racing against the clock.

High efficiency is often trained in school, that is, exams. We will find that when taking the exam, even the most naughty students will write the exam paper very seriously at the beginning, because the students are still full of grades, and one more point is also one point. On the other hand, the exam has a start and an end time, which will give the child a sense of tension to a certain extent.

I have a student parent who does a very good job, a weekend, in order to prevent the child from procrastinating and not doing homework, but Sunday night to process, Saturday to let the child complete the homework, Sunday to take the child out to play, play until very late to go home, do not give him time to make up homework, slowly the child also understands the parents' routine, Friday as soon as he returns home to start completing the homework.

Once the child has developed the habit of time concept and high efficiency, then the simplest homework, when to start, when to end, the child has a number in his own mind, where parents need to worry.

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In the process of children's growth, especially into adolescence, parents should learn to fly kites, but they cannot break the line, fly high and fly low, and parents must always be able to grasp it.

Help your child establish habits, do you have any better or more perfect habits in your family? Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments section and discuss them together.