These few kinds of freedom are essential, does your child have it? | parents

Raising children is a gradual process of letting go, but also a process of gradually letting children gain freedom.

When the child is very young, there is no freedom, even where to walk is controlled to death, and when the child is older, the parents can give the child some freedom.

Some parents say that they are very reassured about their children, but in fact, they are very cautious in their hearts and dare not let their children get some freedom.

So we will see a lot of children who have been disciplined in this way to become "mother treasure", they are indeed very well-behaved, listen to their mothers, but they are really annoying, they will not do anything, there is no opinion, the first reaction when they encounter things: I ask my mother.

In fact, it is not that such children are born like this, but that parents did not let them learn to use the right to "freedom" when they were young.

In life, children need to have these kinds of freedom.

1. Freedom to use items

Freedom of goods means what kind of things a child can use at what age. For example, children can start to learn to use chopsticks and spoons when they are one or two years old, they can start to learn to use scissors when they are in kindergarten, and they can use knives to cut fruits when they are older, and they can help chop meat at home later, and they can use gas, use electrical appliances, and learn to plug plugs when they are older.

These items are not flood beasts, children should be able to use, generally speaking, to the third or fourth grade of primary school, the things at home children basically have the freedom to use, except for some special items, such as parents' personal computers, mobile phones and other electronic products.

2. Freedom to dispose of money

Children need to have a certain freedom to dispose of money, parents can give a certain amount of money control freedom within the scope of their own family's economic conditions, with reference to the child's age group, how much money he can use to buy some things, how much pocket money to give every week, these pocket money can be used within what range, and the child can discuss some details to try to let the child manage money freely.

When a child holds money in his hand, he will seriously consider what he should spend and what he should not spend. When I was a child, I thought more about my favorite snacks and toys, and when I grew up, I thought more about my own living expenses and entertainment and financial management. Slowly, children learn how to use money correctly and establish a more correct view of money. The establishment of this concept is not something that can be explained by reasoning, and children must slowly explore and establish it in this practice.

3. Freedom to schedule time

To say that children have free time is unthinkable when their spare time was full of training courses. But now it's different, and children's weekends and winter and summer vacations are free time. Parents must not be uneasy, stunned that the child's time is filled with other things, what you should do is to discuss with the child what these times should be used for, and even let the child decide what these times can be used for himself.

Of course, letting the child free time must not be as orderly as you plan and arrange tasks for him, he may waste time on doing nothing, but it does not matter, what is important is that when he faces a blank time day after day that needs to be filled, when he experiences time planning failures again and again, he will rethink how to use better ways to do time management.

For example, when I was a child, I would make plans for myself every summer vacation, and they all failed, hahaha, but this did not prevent me from gradually groping for a time management method that suited me. If I hadn't had this freedom as a child, I wouldn't have developed a time management approach that suited me.

4. Freedom of interaction with people

When a child makes friends when he is young, it is often very restrictive, and adults will tell the child: he has bad grades, you should not play with him. He's of poor character, and you stay away from him.

If the child has made bad friends, the parents will try everything to stop it, but we ignore the point that the child also needs to have the freedom to communicate, he only deals with different people from childhood, has suffered losses and tasted sweetness, and knows what kind of people should be with in the future.

Some people are too well protected when they are young (this kind of female-dominated), the circle of friends is filtered, it is easy to be pit by friends or scumbags after growing up, from a young age to let children see all kinds of people, let him get along with different people, he will gradually develop a filtering ability, those who lose friends out of their circle of friends, establish a suitable circle of communication.

5. Freedom of self-development

The growth of children is the most concerned by adults, and we hope that children will take fewer detours and suffer less. So we'll give them advice: Don't do this! Especially the road that parents have walked, especially do not want the child to also go to the muddy water, but what we do not understand is that we also understand the truth and truth of life in the experience of groping, I hope that the child will take fewer detours without mistakes, the child's detours may allow him to reach a certain height in a certain field, but the child has less experience in life experience, and may fall bigger in the future.

In fact, I think that the upper limit of a person's development is limited, and it pays attention to the time and place. We always think of presetting all the possibilities for the child, and if the child does not have this development route, it is likely to go against the grain. Not only are the children unhappy, but the expectations we want are not met.

The child needs to develop himself through self-exploration, which is called "the establishment of self-identity", which has a certain positive significance in psychological development, and a child needs to confirm the direction of development of his life, only in this way can he get a steady stream of motivation and happiness.

Today's article is a little longer, but I think every child actually needs to learn to use freedom. This period of underage is the best time to practice, do not protect the child too well, grasp too tightly, because he will eventually face his own life alone.

The source of the article | I am a Teacher God WeChat public account

WeChat editor | Song Jiaxin