Wen \ Ordinary, Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
Love experts often divide love into three stages, namely: friendship stage, ambiguous stage, and love stage. Between these three stages is gradually advanced, pure friendship can be the foreshadowing of the last two stages, but not all friendships can eventually enter the stage of love, therefore, men and women in the friendship area, often see a kind of "illusion", it is like a flower blooming in the mist, obviously full of fragrance, but it seems that it can not touch its shape, and whenever immersed in it, it often feels confused, resulting in "I treat you as a brother, but you want to sleep with me" misunderstanding, and finally even caused "a slap to the thief and pain" The tragedy.
A good friendship will make people have illusions, and the unique ambiguity between the opposite sex will make people suffer from gains and losses, can this friendship develop into love? The authorities are confused, and the bystanders are clear.
In fact, once the relationship between men and women becomes unusual, there will be these manifestations, these three manifestations, there are more than two, it is no longer an ordinary relationship, you compare these standards, you will understand.
01. Can't help but share your feelings
Although sharing is the source of happiness, when a person can't help but share their feelings with you, it can often be explained that the source of happiness for the other party is not the feeling of sharing, but your reaction after listening to the other party's sharing.
Yes, as noted in behavioral psychology, behavior is determined by ideas.
A person will share the weather time with people who are related to each other, and will share news gossip with ordinary friends, but for the inner feelings, the object of sharing must be limited.
Because the inner feelings are hidden in the heart, to share with others, the premise is to let others come to their own hearts as guests, which is tantamount to expanding their hearts to others and exposing their softest places.
The world is sinister, people's hearts are unpredictable, a person will not show his heart to others for no reason, or at will, a hedgehog will not show his own place without thorns because the other party is also a hedgehog.
The heart is soft, fragile, and fragile. A careless word, a little indifference, or even an anachronistic joke can hurt the heart.
But at this moment, if a person can still open up to you and share his inner feelings despite these risks, it proves that this person not only trusts you very much, but also longs to be able to get your approval.
The ancient poem has clouds: "The same is the fallen man at the end of the world, why should they have known each other when they met?"
When a person is willing to share his inner secrets with you, it is naturally not because he is idle and panicked, but because he is eager to get your approval and establish a stronger sense of bondage with you. And the stronger this feeling of bondage, the stronger the other party's desire to share, and the more words in the mouth. When you give him the right response, empathy will bring the two of you closer together.
Therefore, if there is a person of the opposite sex who shares the daily life of his life or his own emotions in your ear all day, you must not feel that the other person is wordy, instead, you should be happy, because your relationship is not ordinary, at least he is interested in you.
02. The feeling of being jealous
As the old saying goes, "Love is as deep as wine, and it is sour and sour."
The simple explanation is that deep feelings are like spirits, but as long as the lid is opened to meet the embrace of nature, it will become sour. The explanation of chemical knowledge is that ethanol encounters air and becomes acetic acid, that is, vinegar is generated.
At this time, when you taste the wine again, you will feel jealous.
Wine and love are similar, the transcendent emotions between the two are like sealed wine, and the general feelings of general intercourse are as light and tasteless as air, like boiled water.
Normal people's social interaction is generally divided into two types: general social and private social. Different emotions correspond to different ways of socializing.
These two kinds of social will often switch back and forth because of different objects, when switching, just like because you need to pour wine at different times and repeatedly open and close the bottle cap, in this process, your emotions are like the wine in the bottle, there is an opportunity to be exposed to the air, and once exposed to the air, it is inevitable that there will be a "third party" that does not belong to the previous mix, then naturally you will have a sour feeling.
The premise is that you care about him, you will be sour when you encounter this situation, and he cares about you, and he will also be sour when he encounters this situation, so when you are in contact with someone other than the object in your heart, if you can taste someone's vinegar, it can prove that the affection between you is already like fine wine.
After all, if the other party doesn't care about you at all and feels like boiled water to you, then even if you expose the cool white to the air for a thousand years and ten thousand years, the water will still be water after all, and there will be no change in the slightest.
Of course, the different kinds of wine produced between different people have different emotions, just as the same wine is called Bamboo Leaf Qing, some are called Erguotou, and some are called Wuliangye...
No matter how different the wine is, exposed to the air, integrated into other impurities for a long time, there will always be a sour feeling, deep feelings, vinegar taste is relatively heavy, shallow, vinegar taste will be lighter.
But regardless of the vinegar taste, as long as you can feel the vinegar in someone, it proves that your relationship is no longer ordinary.
03. Intimate nicknames
Everyone has a name, and it's true that if someone doesn't have a name, the time it takes to call each other can seem difficult. But in many cases, people have more than one name, and often many other names.
Parents usually call you a nickname, the company's colleagues will also give you a different name, and even your WeChat, QQ and other social software are configured to give themselves an exclusive name.
However, some titles always seem more intimate because they belong to only one person. For example, my little beer, my small bottle cap, pig's head, outline, my man, and the like, some nicknames at first glance, will feel blushing heartbeat, and the tenderness contained in it can bite out the honey.
Why are there these unique little nicknames? Because, although you may be very ordinary in this world, in the eyes of the other party, you are as unique as the moon in the sky, and you are his exclusive lover.
Therefore, people will not casually give others an exclusive nickname, because if the relationship between the two is very ordinary, such behavior will seem very ridiculous, and calling out will make both parties embarrassed. And only to that extent will the relationship be tempted to give him an exclusive title.
This affectionate title is like a link, a link similar to the "taming" that the fox in "The Little Prince" talks about. This link binds two people firmly, making both sides unique.
This connection creates a private world, a private world that can only accommodate both sides, where there are only two people, just as in the Garden of Eden there was only Adam and Eve.
Therefore, when you are given a unique nickname by a member of the opposite sex, your relationship is not ordinary.
04. Mei Niang said
When it comes to family affection, Chinese often think: blood is thicker than water. However, the fact that a man and a woman without any blood relationship can give birth to offspring with blood relations makes us have to lament the miracle of the feelings between men and women.
Love arises from fate, and causes are predestined.
Buddhism emphasizes cause and effect and past lives and this life, although whether cause and effect exist or not, whether past and present lives are nonsense, it is still unknown, but to be able to carry out an unusual relationship, in this life, can also be regarded as a memories worth recalling.
Therefore, the above three situations, once there is a situation, you need to grasp the opportunity, after all, the opportunity can not be lost, the time is not waiting, rather than regretting life, it is better to seize it.
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