Ask everyone such a question, what is the difference between fifty steps and one hundred steps in a relationship?
Maybe just asking such a question, many people do not have the answer. But if you set a precondition for this, then I believe you will understand.
If the distance from love to marriage is a hundred steps, the difference between them is that a person can only accompany you for fifty steps. And the other person will be able to accompany you to the end.
Feelings are really not something that can go on forever by just relying on love. It is as if a reader once said in a private message: "When others leave, they can only show that they are not good enough, and if they can be good enough, then they will definitely get the favor of the other party." ”
My message to him was: "Sometimes, some things have nothing to do with whether you are good or not, but with whether you like it or not." People who don't like you, even if you're good, will leave you. ”
Yes, feelings are sometimes not defined. It is as if in our lives, in the eyes of outsiders, it may be a pair made in heaven and earth, but in the end, they have not been able to go to the end. It may be a pity, but this is the reality. If you are not good, the other party will not leave you.
So if the person you love doesn't love you anymore, what should you do, hysterical or entangled. I think none of this is true. That's what we should be doing.
1. Be able to accept "rejection"
Not all people in this world can do what they want, and meeting someone is someone who likes you. Unless you are extremely lucky, you will definitely encounter rejection on the way to find true love.
Because feelings are not one-sided, it is a matter of two people. It's like if you like someone, you will refuse to confess. Because the confession is not only up to you to like, but also to get along with you before. Therefore, rejection is a very normal thing.
I remember when I was in college, I saw such a situation once, when I returned to the dormitory from the library that day, I saw that the small square on the way back to the dormitory was full of people, and out of curiosity, I also ran into the crowd.
When I looked closer, I realized that it was a boy who confessed to the girl. There was also a pile of heart-shaped candles on the ground, and in the middle were today's heroes and heroines. The people next to me were saying, "Agree with him."
But the girl did not want to pick up the flowers on the hand of the boy who was already on one knee. The result is not as we think, the girl is felt to agree to him, but chooses to reject him.
At the time, we didn't really understand why. Only later I understood that not all likes are mutually agreeable, and sometimes it is just wishful thinking. It is also normal to be "rejected" in a relationship.
It is true that "rejection" is very uncomfortable, but feelings are like this, not that the person you like must like you, nor the person who loves you will be able to go to the end. It's really not uncommon to be "rejected" on the way to finding love. So, if someone you love rejects you, you also have to learn to accept being rejected.
2, can accept not to be loved
As Maugham wrote in The Veil, "A man's deep love for a woman does not mean that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her."
In other words, both men and women have the possibility of being "unloved". Oh, yes! If the feelings are achieved overnight. This person should be lucky, but not all people can meet the kind of person whose encounter is a lifetime.
More people may experience several encounters, it may be that the other party does not love you, or it may make you not love each other, which is a very normal thing.
It's like we've all experienced such a situation, obviously loving each other, but in the end we still can't go to the end, just like two people who love each other in college students, after entering the society, because they are not in the same city, they gather less and leave more. In the end, because of the different ideas, it leads to the rupture of feelings. This is actually quite normal.
As someone said, everyone has the right to love and not to love, and therefore the right to start and end, so whatever the outcome, we have to have the ability to accept not being loved.
3. Write at the end
Of course we hope that the final outcome of every relationship is good. It's just that we all know that this is the ideal state after all. Sometimes some things don't necessarily go the way we envision.
If we do, hopefully we will all know how to face it, rather than blindly pestering or doing something extreme.
Although it is said that the most important thing in a person's life is to meet a person and walk through this life, it is not the person you meet, it must be the person you have reached the end of your life. Maybe you will be separated in the middle of the way, which is a very normal thing.
Therefore, we have to learn how to face such a situation. That is, to be able to accept "rejection" and to be able to accept "not being loved". Eventually as long as you don't give up looking for someone you love, you're bound to meet.
Wen | Ming floating life
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