Today I will introduce you to a new word, called the cost of bitter feelings, and analyze the side of our human nature that you have not found, and what everyone may have experienced. What is the cost of bitterness? It is that we sometimes deliberately create a sad atmosphere, grieve ourselves, and then condemn each other: Why are you so desperate?
Let me give you an example: Ask your female friends, if you had a fight with your boyfriend and you called him and he didn't answer you, what would you do next? More than 80% of people will continue to fight, one hit two hit three hit four, hit a dozen have, why do you do this?
In fact, you are very clear, you made a phone call and he did not answer, the next call may not answer, you have to call so much, because then you can have the cost of arguing with him tomorrow, you can naturally tell him: "I called you 20 calls, why don't you answer?" Are you not loving me".
I can't always tell you tomorrow, "I gave you a call, why didn't you answer?" Then the other party said, "I didn't see it." You will deliberately create a sad atmosphere, from the second phone call to the last phone call, the process is you are creating a bitter cost, you have to tell the other party "You see I made 20 phone calls, do you know how much I needed you at that time?" ”。
And the other person feels, "You made a phone call and I hung up, don't you understand what I mean?" What's the use of you playing so much? "It's nothing for the other person, but for you, you feel like you're giving a lot." Those bitter costs finally bitter yourself, you really feel, I made 20 phone calls you don't answer, are you not loving me, is not I not important, etc., but in fact, a phone call and 20 phone calls, for each other there is no difference.
For example, have you ever done such a thing, you have an appointment with a man at ten o'clock to eat, for example, you will arrive at half past nine, and from nine to ten o'clock, you may arrange it yourself, for example, you will play games, do something else, until ten o'clock.
If he has not yet arrived at ten eleven, many people will not play games anymore, put their mobile phones away, and wait for each other in a dignified manner. Because when you want the other person to come, you feel how seriously I am waiting for you, and you are only here now. In fact, at that stage you can also play games, but you don't, I just want you to feel, you see how much I pay to wait for you, these are the costs of your suffering.
If he comes and doesn't feel it, sit there and start eating, you will feel very sad inside, I didn't play the game in order to wait for you, I waited for you for so long, you didn't say anything after you came, it seems that you really don't pay attention to me, but in fact, this is the cost of self-inflicted pain.
For example, between husband and wife, you are cooking in the kitchen, suddenly accidentally cut the vegetables to cut the handle, out of some blood, originally you have wiped it off, but you found that your husband seems to come to see you, at this time there are many people who will really do this, squeeze it out of some blood, let you see.
You look at me cooking for you, cutting so much blood out of my hands, to make you feel that I have paid so much for doing this. And the price is the cost of the bitter feelings you create, and you have to make yourself a little more bitter.
Then if your husband looks, "This is nothing, just put a band-aid", you will be very sad inside: I have so much blood, you let me put a band-aid, it seems that you really do not value me, you do not love me. But in fact, it may have been a small wound, so sometimes, our bitterness cost did not suffer to the other party, and in the end it was all bitterness.
There are also some women who still have such thoughts, such as breaking up with each other, it was uncomfortable at home, crying and crying until twelve o'clock, but thinking about tomorrow I will say to him, "I haven't slept for you all night, crying all night." It's only twelve o'clock, and there are still five hours left, and then think of something else to cry.
Finish crying your first eight ex-boyfriends, find that there is nothing to cry, and then make up something else, anyway, you have to cry until dawn. The eyes that had to cry were swollen, the dark circles came out, the pillows were wet, and then told the other party: "I cried for you all night, the pillows were wet, how can you bear to break up with me." And the other party came a sentence: "All broke up, what are you doing so much", bang, your heart is broken. You end up holding a wet pillow and touching your eyes with extreme sadness, and all this sadness comes from the cost of bitter feelings you create.
Sometimes we will inadvertently create the cost of bitterness, and the teacher only wants to tell everyone that the cost of bitterness will only hurt ourselves in the end, so I hope that everyone will treat it rationally. You can also say in the comments section whether you have ever done anything similar.