In order to find a solution to the problem of teenagers and games scientifically, parents first need to figure out a question: there are so many children who contact mobile phones, why can some children only use mobile phones as a tool to relax and exercise their minds, while some children will be addicted to it?
Mobile phones are really attractive
First of all, Kotijun has to admit that mobile phones and tablets are really attractive.
And children are easy to indulge in mobile phones, the simplest reason is that the various applications in the mobile phone are really fun, you can bring fun and pleasure to children from all aspects such as sight and listening, and can help children effectively achieve the purpose of relaxation and entertainment.
Of course, in order to make mobile phones fun, many game developers are working hard to figure out how to get users to spend more time on their own software. We take games as an example, game development and design is a deep learning, the simplest game design, but also contains the application of psychological knowledge. So much elaborate design, not to mention children, even adults will be addicted.
The brain is immature
It will give mobile games a chance to take advantage of
Physiologically, children in childhood or adolescence have developing brains whose prefrontal systems are not yet fully developed, resulting in insufficient ability to think rationally, make plans, and regulate their emotions and behaviors; but the emotional motivation system (the limbic system of the brain) is better developed.
The imbalance between the two systems, like a car, with sufficient throttle, lack of navigation guidance and sufficiently sensitive brakes, the result is predictable, children tend to show easy acceptance of all kinds of novelties, impulsiveness, recklessness. After being exposed to all kinds of videos, games, and apps, it is natural to yearn for it, and it is naturally difficult to restrain the urge to play.
Similarly, why does it not work for parents to simply and rudely lose their temper with their children? Because as soon as the parent loses his temper, the child's "emotional brain" immediately starts to work!
It will treat adult words as a threat, especially a structure in the brain called the "amygdala", and will send alarms to children: danger is coming, act fast, or go to war! Or escape! And what about the "rational brain" at this moment? It may be directly frozen, so when the parents lose their temper, the child may not listen to a word, but it will make the child more vigilant and less secure.
Bad personality increases the risk of phone dependency
The child's personality factors cannot be ignored. For example, some children are naturally more impulsive than other children, and they are more likely to be reckless; some children's concentration time seems to be inherently shorter, and they can't sit still, and these children get their mobile phones and are easy to play without stopping.
Also, if you look at your child's attitude toward stress, frustration, or criticism, you can also find some characteristics. Some children are criticized, can take the initiative to admit their mistakes, accept opinions with an open mind, and then the matter is put aside. Some children, on the other hand, may be more likely to use passive avoidance to cope with stress. Such children are also more likely to rely on mobile phones.
Poor family upbringing
It will push the child into the arms of the mobile phone
Previous studies have found that the more frequent, intense, and unresolvable conflicts within a family, the greater the negative impact on children's mental health. When the content of the parental conflict is related to the child, the child's psychological pain will be deeper, and it is more likely to use the game for a long time as a solution to the pain.
So, what can parents do to help children play less with electronic devices such as mobile phones?
1. Set a transition period
Guide your child during the holidays to develop a schedule close to school life, let your child temporarily leave the phone to their parents for safekeeping, or set screen time.
The use of electronic devices during the holidays is more, and it is difficult for children to say that they are broken, so they need to give children an adaptation process to reduce the time for children to use mobile phones and other electronic devices every day.
2. Make three chapters of the law with your child
In order to enhance the child's initiative, parents can negotiate with their children to formulate rules for the use of electronic devices such as mobile phones, stipulate when they can play, how long they can play each time, etc., and give their children enough companionship and emotional support.
And the child "three chapters of the law", clearly agree on the use time and duration of use of electronic devices. Parents must take a firm, unshakable and compromised stance when enforcing the rules. In the process of reaching an agreement, we must respect the child's opinions, and we must not turn the "agreement" into a one-way "order" of the parents.
3. Accompany children to grow up healthily
Parents can shift their children's attention from electronic devices such as mobile phones to other active activities, read with their children, exercise together, do games, do housework, take their children out to climb mountains, play football, visit museums, etc., so that children realize that in addition to electronic devices such as mobile phones, there are many interesting things in life.
In addition, we should learn more about the personality characteristics of children, and do not randomly compare your children with the role models of their peers whose personalities are very different.
For children who are impulsive, easily distracted, and easy to escape, be more patient and help them gradually face and accept their problems before they can bring about change. Of course, parents should also adjust the method of family education to help their children cultivate more positive personality characteristics and accompany their children to grow up healthily.
4. Parents should set a good example
In the process of managing electronic devices such as mobile phones, it is crucial for parents to lead by example. Many parents are heavy users of mobile phones, if they use mobile phones frequently, it is difficult to be convincing to educate their children not to play mobile phones. Make good rules with your children, and adults should also take the initiative to abide by them.
For example, when children need to learn, they can put mobile phones, tablets and other electronic devices in an invisible place or put into silent mode; for example, do not bring electronic devices into the bedroom or bring the dining table, avoid using them before children go to bed and when eating.
5. Avoid transitional intervention
When children can't stop playing with electronic devices such as mobile phones, they should be more patient and understanding of their children. When you see a child playing with a mobile phone, do not easily label the child as lacking self-control, and you cannot start or scold in a hurry, trying to solve the problem with verbal or physical violence.
We have to remind ourselves that the child's brain has not been able to keep up, so it is understandable to see the space where the child may improve and let his emotions stabilize first.
Then, remind the child a few more times: you have been playing for 10 minutes and it is time to go to the homework; or it is already 9 o'clock, it is time to brush your teeth and wash, give the child a buffer and reminder opportunity, help him slowly brake the "car", and avoid aggravating the child's anxiety before school starts.
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Dear parents, after encountering the child's mobile phone addiction, do not rush to reprimand the child, remember to communicate with the child correctly Oh ~ ~ ~