Children who lack companionship have an emotional desert inside

The epidemic has been repeated, and many people may have to stay in the city where they work and study for the New Year this year.

That day, when chatting with a student, he said: Actually, I don't feel anything about going home for the New Year, and it's good not to go back.

I wonder, every holiday, don't everyone want to go home to reunite with their parents and enjoy the warmth between their families?

"I was a left-behind child, and when I was a child, I could only spend time with my parents every winter break. Originally, I very much hoped that they could accompany me more, but as soon as they came back, they knew that they were looking for someone to play cards, often not at home, and even Chinese New Year's Eve had to go out that day, I could only watch TV at home with my grandfather, and I felt more lonely than usual. Later, I slowly got used to it. I think I am also a person when I go home, and I have always been indifferent to my family and affection."

Listening to his words, I felt particularly sad for the many children who lacked the company of their parents in their childhood.

Children who lack companionship have an emotional desert in their hearts, which has an indelible impact on their future lives and relationships.

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Image source: Movie "Parasite"

Many parents always say that they can't accompany their children because they are busy and have no time, but the reality is often that it is difficult to have time, and during the holidays, parents have not been able to give their children the right company, missing a good opportunity that could have been seized.

The education community often says that excellent children are "accompanied" out.

Deeply.

The child's growth is only once, and only with full companionship can parents have the opportunity to observe and understand their children and help them develop good habits.

Only full companionship can enhance the communication and interaction between parents and children and establish a good parent-child relationship.

These are all good educational foundations for children, and they are also the top priority.

It is the winter vacation again, parents should cherish the complete time of the holiday and give their children the correct and high-quality companionship.

Increase engagement and engagement

Previously, there was a post-80s father Zhang Shuai in Zhengzhou, Henan Province, who became popular for the video of his 5-year-old daughter making toys by hand.

In today's father's general absence from the education of children's growth, this father has won the unanimous praise of netizens.

Since 2018, Zhang Shuai has made hundreds of toys for his daughter using plastic bottles, waste cartons and other materials.

From design to production, the process of each toy is cumbersome, and it takes two or three days to a week, but in order to interact with children more, Zhang Shuai is happy in it.

In the interview, the daughter's face was full of happiness and satisfaction, saying that "playing with mom and dad, I have fun playing everything."

In the process of making carton toys with her father, her imagination and problem-solving skills are also constantly improving.

Yes, for children, what they eat and play may not matter, what matters is the sense of happiness that is accompanied by mom and dad, enough to nourish them throughout their childhood.

The measure of effective companionship is the involvement of parents.

Simply put, it is whether you are fully committed to this time with your child, and are in the same channel with his thoughts and emotions.

In real life, we often see that parents are absent-minded when accompanying their children, playing mobile phones, watching TV, busy with work, and perfunctory to what their children say and ask questions.

When companionship is only accompanied, there is no interaction and communication between parents and children, there is no emotional flow, this kind of companionship is often ineffective, and it does not enhance the feelings between parents and children.

On the contrary, parents' neglect and perfunctory disregard for their children is also an emotional cold violence.

Spending even an hour with your child wholeheartedly and dedicatedly is more effective than spending a day with your child carelessly.

Follow your child's rhythm, thoughts, thoughts, talk, play, and interact with him, try your best to understand his emotions and feelings, and respond to them, maintaining the same frequency resonance.

During the holidays, there are many things that parents can do with their children, such as pasting Spring Festival, making dumplings, cleaning together, doing housework, exercising outdoors, reading...

Put down your phone, put aside the complicated work for a while, and enjoy the time with your children!

Master the right way to communicate

During the holidays, the child is always dangling in front of the parents' eyes, and after a long time, the parents will see that the child is not pleasing to the eye anywhere, and can't help but point and give the child criticism and suggestions.

If you don't get up in the morning, you scold the child: lazy to die, what time is it and you can't get up!

Mobile phones play more, parents began to be anxious, counting children: every day is not good to learn, you know to play mobile phones, hurry to write homework!

A guest came, the child did not say hello, in front of others said the child: what is the use of this child? How old are they and don't know how to call people.

There are also parents, and children do not have much to say, a talk, is to learn to learn, to talk about all kinds of big truths, children are difficult not to be annoyed.

If the parents' communication method is not appropriate, it is easy to cause conflicts between parents and children, causing the child's rebellious psychology.

Communicating with children is also an art, many times, parents change a tone, language, children can listen to it more, but also to make a good example for children.

Image source: Movie "Confinement"

Therefore, parents should pay attention to using less commanding, questioning, and negative language and tone, and more positive, positive, and consultative language to guide their children.

For example, if the child makes a mistake, try to control his emotions, "the mother knows that you did not mean it", help the child find the child who knows right and wrong, obeys the rules, and teaches the child to recognize his mistakes and take responsibility for the mistakes in peaceful language.

Want your child to clean up your room, rather than saying, "What's messed up your room?" I don't know how to clean up", so I would like to tell him in positive language, "Is it time to clean up the room?"

Positive and positive guidance, the child feels respected, more able to protect the child's self-confidence, stimulate self-awareness, let him learn self-discipline, self-management.

In addition, asking too many questions and urging children's learning problems will be counterproductive.

Parents and children's communication, not only concerned about children's learning, but also know how to care about children's interests, hobbies, inner world, whether there are any troubles and confusion.

Equality, respect, and inner communication like friends can enhance the emotional connection between parents and children.

Image source: The Strange Life of Timothy

Stick to good habits with your child

Holidays are a great time to relax, but at the same time it's easy to form bad habits:

Irregular schedules, unrestrained playing on mobile phones, overeating, neglecting learning, laziness and procrastination...

It is not easy to form good habits, do not let the relaxation and indulgence of this period of vacation ruin the good habits that are usually difficult to cultivate.

Therefore, parents accompany their children during the holidays, but also pay attention to adhering to good habits with their children, and use the role of role models to drive and supervise children.

First of all, what we must adhere to is the regular work and rest.

Don't stay up late and sleep late because of the holiday, this will only increase the burden on the body, maintain the habit of going to bed early and getting up early, and can achieve the effect of rest and relaxation.

Second, plan well and maintain good study habits.

Learning is an ongoing, lifelong thing that should not be interrupted by vacations.

Children's vacation waste of study will also cause the "holiday landslide" phenomenon in the new semester.

Parents should encourage their children to arrange their own learning time in addition to playing during the holidays, whether it is reviewing old knowledge and preparing for new knowledge, or checking for omissions and filling gaps, expanding their knowledge, which is very beneficial, which can exercise children's persistence, concentration, and reduce impetuosity.

In the process of children's learning, parents can also improve themselves through learning according to their actual situation.

Image source: TV series "We All Have to Be Good"

Third, keep your reading habits.

The importance of reading for people's lives does not need to be repeated, during the holidays, parents and children take some time every day to read, communicate and share with each other, it is a pleasure.

Finally, keep exercising.

The holidays are comfortable and comfortable at home, many people are reluctant to move, lying in bed every day to play mobile phones, "Ge You paralysis" drama, is not conducive to physical health and mental state.

Usually children study, parents go to work, are very busy, may not have much time to exercise, just take advantage of the holiday this period of free time, spend more time together to exercise, exercise.

Exercise can also bring positive, pleasant emotions, with a good mental state, no matter what you do, the efficiency will increase.

The above is the correct posture to accompany your child during the holidays, have you, got there?