Serialized article (248) Childhood in a small town — Childhood by a grain heap
Near the Spring Festival, receiving bad news from my hometown, my hundred-year-old grandmother finally failed to resist the loss of time and leave us permanently; after seeing the obituary issued by my sister-in-law, the scene of the past once again appeared in front of my eyes, and my eyes were wet again; the scene of my grandmother and I playing was once again presented in my mind; this time my grandmother really left us;
In that era of material scarcity, my grandmother would try to satisfy me first to satisfy me; my aunt often nagged, when I was young, I was sent to my grandmother's house just after weaning, and the children who were a few months old were all maintained by a little sugar water; they all persuaded my grandmother to send me home, all worried that I would not survive, but my grandmother always did my best to take care of me; when I was a child, I counted the stars with my grandmother and grew up watching the moon;
When I was a child, I left my grandmother's house and went home to go to school; my grandmother worried about my unsuitability, and once again accompanied me home and took on the task of raising me again; at that time, my grandmother was all I had, and my grandmother was a relative who was far more important than my mother; back home, my grandmother could help me bear anything, and my grandmother was the "superman" in my heart;
Teenagers' holidays, there will still be a long time spent at my grandmother's house, my grandmother's house is obviously more like my own home; on summer nights, we sit by the pond and take a cold, listening to my grandfather tell stories, and my grandmother uses a fan to help me drive away mosquitoes; just when my grandmother shakes the fan, I gradually grow up;
In my youth, it is obvious that the outside world is more exciting, and my grandmother's house is obviously less attractive; gradually away from my grandmother's house, there are more "big things" to complete during the holidays, I visit my grandmother less and less, and I miss my grandmother less and less; it seems as if my grandmother has begun to distance myself from me;
Bigger and bigger, Grandma is getting farther and farther away; the opportunity to meet With Grandma is also less and less, even if meeting is short-lived; that year's Spring Festival, it was the only time to go home for the Spring Festival after my mother's death; Nearly ninety Grandma is still "energetic" and invited to play mahjong with Grandma; during the period, Grandma quietly asked me, is there a "two cake"? "Call me to touch it;" When I played "two cakes", my grandmother, who was nearly ninety, was as excited and excited as a child, pushed down the "Hu card"; and then reached out to ask for money; although I was far away from my grandmother, the affection between us was always there;
With the increase of age, although the opportunity to meet with my grandmother is still very small, but there are more and more calls with my grandmother; there are many, many topics with my grandmother; I am spoiled with my grandmother, and my grandmother and I play "rogue", so that the unique call of one old and one small can talk for tens of minutes each time, or even longer; that feeling, grandma will never be old, grandma will always be with us;
My grandmother, who is nearly a hundred years old, feels more and more sad, lacking the original optimism and cheerfulness; every time my grandmother will say: "I have lived enough, I have experienced everything, I have no meaning in living;" "Why should I be allowed to live?" How nice it would be to give my life to my relatives! "Whenever I hear my grandmother say this, I am also very sad, but I don't know what to say to my grandmother; gradually, I don't want to talk to my grandmother on the phone, and I used to talk to my grandmother on the phone was a happy and pleasant "fighting mouth", but at that time the two would have different sadness;
Grandma could not survive the years after all, stroke hemiplegia in bed, and at the same time completely lost her memory; the aunt dialed the video, looked at the dazed grandmother, and asked "Who am I?" I was completely "aroused" by the pain hidden deep inside me, I could neither speak nor cry out loud, but there were silent tears; my grandmother was still looking at me blankly on the other end of the phone, still asking, "Which one are you?" ”
Or now, for Grandma, it is a kind of relief, but also a kind of relief; she has experienced too much, both the sadness of "the destruction of the country and the death of the family", and the pain of "the death of relatives"; this way now, it may be better, and it is also what Grandma wants to accept more; I did not go home to see Grandma for the last time, and there was not too much sadness; I loved Grandma deeply, Grandma also loved me deeply, I may also understand Grandma, Grandma may also understand me, no matter at any time, I am with Grandma;
My wife asked me if I wanted to go home; I said to my wife: "When my grandmother was alive, I did my filial piety; after my grandmother was born, I will always remember her", my heart is very calm, although there are all kinds of reluctance, but my heart is calm;
January 19, 2022 at Chaoyangmen, Beijing
(Note: The content in this article is a real memory record, the original debut, but there will be a confused memory; all the pictures used in this article are from the Internet, hereby, I would like to express my sincere thanks to the owner of the picture.) If there is any infringement, please contact it in time so that it can be dealt with at any time ;)
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