After the "double subtraction", how to reduce the anxiety of parents?

Drawing of gold drapery

Reduce the homework burden of students in the compulsory education stage and reduce the burden of off-campus training for students. Since the "double reduction" policy was officially landed at the end of July this year, the discussion has been endless, and almost every online post on the "double reduction" policy will attract round after round of words and swords, teachers, parents, students, education and training institution practitioners, everyone has a different position, each expressing their own opinions.

Wait and see, why wait and see? Anxiety, can't help but be anxious. Rectifying the chaotic training institution market has saved parents from the anxiety of falling into the "inner volume" of education, but the "crutch" of education and training institutions has been removed, and a new round of anxiety has arisen among parents. On closer inspection, there is only one core problem of anxiety: the fear that their children will affect their academic performance because they are completely relaxed.

Some parents believe that without the education and training institutions, families with economic conditions may ask tutors for "one-on-one" counseling, while ordinary wage earners cannot afford to hire tutors, fearing that this gap will become wider and wider; even some parents believe that it is not the education and training institutions that are removed, but the springboard for their children to get ahead.

Halfway through the first semester after the implementation of the "double reduction" policy, the school is working hard to implement the "double reduction" policy, and the children's homework pressure has been significantly alleviated, and only the anxiety of parents has not yet found a place to rest.

"Double subtraction" is an endless topic

At 15:20 on October 18, next to a primary school on Jiefang South Road in Hexi District.

With 10 minutes to go before school time, the streets are full of parents picking up their children, and they are gathered in groups of three or five, chatting about nothing more than these few topics - what do your children do when they come home? Does he feel "well fed" in class? Is he still taking online lessons? These topics have been talked about since the beginning of the semester, and now that the semester is halfway through, the topic is still hotly discussed.

Some parents said: "My child comes home to play, completely relaxed, no homework and no tutoring, this semester feels that she is particularly relaxed." Another parent then said, "Buy her some workbooks, although the teacher does not leave homework, but our parents have to keep an eye on it." My child has to spend 1 hour every night reviewing and pre-studying. ”

The two talked about the "debate" of the reasons for the existence of the education and training institutions. Some parents said: "I always feel disadvantaged when I don't go to cram school." In the past, the children's schedule was full, and the school was immediately sent to the cram school to continue learning, although it was hard but worth it. Now, suddenly there is no cram school, and he has nothing to do at home all day. Another parent said: "My child has not attended cram school, and I always feel that it is not worth it for parents to spend money and occupy their children's rest time." At this time, a parent interjected: "It depends on the child, some children absorb well, this money is worth spending; some children how much money you throw into, he still can't learn." "Do people still use cram schools for children who listen to lectures seriously and absorb well?" I don't know which parent said such a sentence, the "debate" abruptly stopped, but there is still no conclusion, and it is expected that this "debate" will continue the next day.

After a few minutes, the first batch of students who had left school went to the distribution point under the guidance of the teacher, and after saying "goodbye teacher, goodbye classmate", they each ran to the parents. Parents hold their children's small hands and the first thing they ask is definitely: "Do you still have homework at home?" ”

The school teacher did not relax the requirements for students because of the "double reduction" policy, and a homeroom teacher interviewed the parents of the two students through the work of school. The two children have one thing in common – after returning from a long vacation, they are not focused enough and often lose their minds in class. The teacher said: "We pay attention to efficiency from the classroom, this lesson to talk about several knowledge points, you may miss one for a few minutes." Now homework has a time limit, so the homework left is the essence of the content, you go to class, do homework must have difficulties. ”

From the teacher's warning, it can be heard that after the introduction of the "double reduction" policy, the school's teaching work has indeed undergone major changes, the teacher's lectures require fine, and the students need to invest in the lectures, and whether the parents have kept up with the rhythm of the school, whether they have changed the old methods of the past and adapted to the new policies of the present?

There is a reason to "lie flat" but not the courage

"'Double subtraction' does not mean slackening, and when the time comes, you have to look at the results when you go to college." Mom read these words in Xiaoyu's ear every day. Xiaoyu is in the fourth grade of primary school this year, and after the "double reduction" policy landed, the biggest change in his life was more time at home.

Since last year, Xiaoyu's extracurricular classes have not been interrupted, because her mother firmly believes in such a saying: "The first and second grades can play, and the third grade will have to climb the slope." In order to help the child and let him install a "small motor" during the climb, his mother consulted a number of off-campus education and training institutions to select suitable courses for Xiaoyu, and even in the summer vacation just this past, Xiaoyu did not rest.

Suddenly, the "double subtraction" policy came, the offline courses of extracurricular training classes were cancelled, online classes could be carried out conditionally, and only allowed to take classes from Monday to Friday, and classes were not allowed on rest days. In Xiaoyu's view, this policy is simply too "decompressing". He said: "I don't want to go to cram school, especially on Saturday mornings, and I have to be called up by my mother when I sleep soundly. Eight- or nine-year-old children are "praying" for the closure of cram schools every day. Unexpectedly, the dream really shone into reality, and it came "off guard".

Because Xiaoyu has the support of the "double reduction" policy, he can justifiably rest at home, but his mother often says to him: "The more you reduce the burden, the more you should study hard, your classmates are secretly competing." There seems to be some truth to her mother's remarks, Xiaoyu does not dare to argue with her mother, and online classes have not been reduced.

"Many parents are saying that the 'double reduction' policy gives parents and students a reason to 'lie flat', but I don't have the courage to 'lie flat'." Xiaoyu's mother said, "I also hope that my child will enter high school and college without any pressure, but then don't you still have to look at the results of admission?" She especially wants to have the "superpower" of predicting the future, first see what the future child is in, and save regrets when the time comes.

Every parent cannot gamble with their children for the future, and in order not to leave their children behind, they will do their best. "Whether it is now or in the future, reading and learning is definitely correct, this is the definite answer." Xiaoyu's mother understood it this way.

The weekend after the "double subtraction"

On the one hand, the education department vigorously implements the "double reduction" policy, especially the school continues to make efforts to improve the quality of education and reduce the burden on students in the school; on the other hand, the offline courses of the education and training institutions have been stopped, and the online class time and teaching content have been limited, which means that the weekend time is really returned to the children. But parents have found new problems: children face a state of idleness on the weekend, how to improve and enrich their children's weekend lives, so that children have a head start on the weekend. When children are liberated from heavy extracurricular tutoring, does family education take the initiative to fill the gap or come up with a feasible educational design?

Some parents still use the tactic of the sea of questions, and the school reduces the burden but the parents do not reduce the burden on their children. At the weekend, a stack of exercise questions was taken out, and the exercise books other than textbooks such as "Quanyou Sprint", "Huanggang Lesson Practice", and "53 Days of Daily Practice" were purchased by parents to go home, although the school no longer issued such exercise books, but parents scrambled to search for questions on the whole network. As for whether these exercises match what they have learned in their daily lives, parents do not pay too much attention to them, and only think that there is no harm in doing more questions.

The counterpart is complete relaxation, as long as the child holds a mobile phone or tablet, he can play quietly all day.

Regarding the weekend after the "double reduction", there are relevant discussions on the Internet, and some netizens said: This shows the good intentions of formulating the "double reduction" policy. Parents are busy at work on weekdays, always complain that there is no time to accompany their children, in the past, every weekend, holiday, children are busier than usual, but now the children are not busy, the weekend time is all left to the family, parents can really improve the quality of their children's home time through effective accompaniment, but how many parents really pay attention to it?

The reporter also heard the parents' opinions in the interview: whether it is the tactics of the sea of questions, or complete relaxation, or sending their children to cram schools as in the past, the core is that parents find ways to "escape" to accompany their children personally. It seems that picking up and dropping off children is very busy, and it seems to worry about the future of children, but the essence is to avoid companionship, but even they are not aware of it. Some parents pointed out to the point: the reason why I am full of anxiety today is because I have not found a suitable alternative. In the past, it was possible to buy services with money, but now it is only parents who accompany their children on weekends.

When parents are willing to devote enough time to their children, there are endless ways to spend the weekend. For example, accompanying children to museums and libraries, accompanying children to the stadium to play football, accompanying children to watch a movie, and listening to a concert are all good ways to enrich holiday life.

Why parents are more and more anxious the more they decompress

"Isn't it a joke to receive a notice from an education and training institution today to replace the cultural class I signed up for with a table tennis class?" A parent said such a sentence in the WeChat group, which immediately triggered a discussion among parents. Parents are competing to express their opinions with your words and me, but combing through these remarks, you will find a clear label - anxiety.

One of the anxieties, the fear that their children will be left behind. The "double reduction" policy landed, if everyone is a bowl of water flat, it is also very good, but parents are worried that other students take the opportunity to "overtake in the corner", their children would have hoped to study in prestigious universities, but because of the laxity at this time, let other students catch up, and it will be too late to regret it.

The second anxiety, these years have been accustomed to off-campus training, suddenly limited, the heart can not put down. In this group, most parents regard off-campus education and training institutions as "life-saving straws", in their view, the knowledge taught in schools can only be "full", if you want to eat "good", you have to "open a small stove". Now this "life-saving straw" has been curtailed, and the "emotional straw" of parents' anxiety has been ignited.

The third anxiety is the inability to accept the mediocrity of the child. In the discussion, parents talked about the choice between high school and higher vocational education, and parents made it clear that they could not accept that their children could not go to high school and chose higher occupations, in their eyes, their children's higher vocational education means that more career options are missing. Are industrial workers mediocre? Aren't blue-collar workers as good as white-collar workers? Parents neither agree nor deny it, but the "circle" they set for their children does not stop there.

Anxiety fourth, the reference object is becoming more and more blurred. In the past, when the off-campus education and training institutions were in the limelight, parents had reference objects, and many parents who "followed the current" signed up. At that time, parents believed that children were not as strong as going up, and as long as the money was invested, the responsibility of parents was fulfilled. But now, the students' self-study method has changed, there is no reference object, parents want to invest but do not know where to go, suddenly the heart is bottomless. At this time, it is back to the first layer of anxiety, once your child is left behind, what to do?

Anxiety number five, worrying about their children becoming "pilots". In the WeChat group, some parents have clearly elaborated on the profound thinking behind the "double reduction" policy, and are also advising other parents to open up the pattern, enlarge their vision, and observe such a policy from an open perspective. Parents said: After the national policy comes out, we will definitely support it, and the effectiveness of the current policy is emerging; but I am worried that my children will become "pilots", if I can try the "experience" from my own children, of course, everyone is happy, afraid that what I try out is "lessons"...

Take a closer look at the messages of these parents, although there is no lack of one-sided words, but the sentences are full of worries about the future of their children. When will I be able to let go of this anxiety completely? I'm afraid the ideal state is called no competition, but is this possible?

Relieving anxiety requires recognizing reality

In recent months, the topic of children's education has been widely concerned, which shows that the topic of education is a national topic, especially after the official implementation of the "double reduction" policy, from school education to off-campus education and training have undergone tremendous changes. In the process of adapting to this change, many parents are anxious and even a little overwhelmed. To this end, this reporter interviewed Professor Jia Xiaobo, supervisor of Tianjin Social Psychology Association and director of Tianjin Xinfan Psychological Counseling Center.

Professor Jia Xiaobo believes that the state's reform of education from the perspective of the overall situation is to ensure the fairness of education. In recent years, the rise of discipline-based extracurricular education and training institutions has made many children become "chicken babies", making many parents anxious and physically and mentally exhausted. Everyone is worried about being left behind, so that students are forced to "roll inside", so parents have paid a lot of money and energy. But what is the result? Maybe the test score is a little higher, but does it improve the overall quality of the students?

In such a situation, the state introduced a "double reduction" policy to reverse the situation, and parents suddenly felt that the past education methods were changing. In the past, regardless of whether children had difficulties in learning, parents would scramble to send them to the cram school, and grasping the cram school was like finding a crutch; now that the so-called "crutch" has been withdrawn, it is understandable that parents have a sense of anxiety and powerlessness. Professor Jia said: "This anxiety stems from the gap left by external education and training institutions, parents are only unable to fill it by their personal ability, or do not know where to work hard. ”

The "double reduction" policy has just been implemented for a few months and is still in the stage of adaptation and improvement. Professor Jia Xiaobo believes that alleviating anxiety requires continuous improvement of policies, and the process of improving policies should make teachers, parents and students feel down-to-earth, and parents also need to recognize the reality.

"It is necessary to examine your children realistically and plan the future direction for your children earlier." Jia Xiaobo said, "A lot of anxiety arises because parents do not start from reality and set excessively high expectations for their children. In addition, it is necessary to actively communicate and cooperate with the teachers of the school, do a good job in logistical support, and do not transfer anxiety to children. ”

Professor Jia Xiaobo also reminded everyone that when parents really know what they can do and what to do, anxiety will naturally weaken.

(Reporter Yi Jian)

Source: Tonight's newspaper