There is a kind of education called the release of the child's nature, they hold the child to heaven, and the release of the child's "nature" is regarded as inevitable, as legal, and as a matter of course.
Of course, the final result is that the child does not grow up to be what the parents want, and bears, barbarism, uncultured, and unruly have become the best synonyms for such children.
This is not nature education, it is garbage education, it sounds very harsh, very heartfelt, but very realistic.
1
In a movie theater, everyone is watching the movie seriously, only one child jumps around in the seat, laughing from time to time, from entering the scene to now, it has been almost half an hour, and his mother is next to him.
An adult next to him couldn't stand it a bit and said to the child's mother, can you manage your child, it's too noisy. The child's mother did not return her head, saying, the child is born like this!
Then continue watching the movie.
After that, the child left his seat and ran around the movie theater for a while, tired, but found that he could not find his mother, it was too dark inside. Then cry and call out to mom.
After a few shouts, no one responded, and a strange man yelled at him: Your mother is dead!
The child was stunned and did not dare to move.
In recent years, there has been a kind of education that has been praised by heaven, called the release of children's nature. All the characteristics of the child can be attributed to nature, whether good or bad, have natural rationality, irrefutable and irrepressible.
A Tsinghua professor was indignant: the biggest scam of education is happy education, useless academic qualifications and the release of children's nature, these three scams are distorting the growth of children step by step.
2
Children have no sense of rules
At a hot pot restaurant in Wuxi, Jiangsu Province, adults are eating in their seats, and only one child is running around in the aisle, running from this end to that end, and running from that end to this end.
His mother followed slowly and leisurely, without scolding, and even more without stopping, they must have felt that their children were lively and cute, and there was no need to take care of it.
When running to a corner, I happened to bump into the waiter who turned the corner, and the waiter also had a pot of grilled fish in his hand, and the child's forehead was just attached to the hot grilled fish pot, and the tragedy happened instantly, and the child was burned in many places.
Afterwards, the child's parents arrogantly demanded 390,000 yuan in compensation without any identification or legal process:
"It doesn't matter if the money is not money, whose child is burned to be so worth 390,000?"
The responsibilities of children and parents are wiped out.
Why do many children generally lack a sense of rules?
Because in the eyes of many parents, the nature of children is higher than the rules. Children's nature is to be active, so they can run, they can make trouble, and they can make loud noises without fear.
More and more children ignore the rules, and more and more tragedies are caused by it.
3
Children have no sense of awe
Just a few days ago, there was a murder incident in Longhui, Hunan, a 73-year-old grandmother was killed in front of her own home, the police immediately rushed to the scene, less than 5 hours, the case was cracked: the murder was a child, 13 years old.
On the afternoon of the crime, the child stayed near the grandmother's house and was scolded by the grandmother.
Without saying a word, the child picked up a knife at the door, rushed straight to the grandmother, used all his strength, and stabbed the old man in the head, and the old man died on the spot.
Subsequently, the child snatched 700 yuan from the old man and finally fled the scene.
Not far away in Shaodong, Hunan Province, a similar incident occurred: on October 18, 2015, three left-behind children discussed going to Xinlian Primary School, and because of the holidays on the same day, the school gate was closed, and the three of them climbed over the wall to enter.
After entering the school, they pried open the door of the commissary and stole the bread, lollipops and other food inside, which happened to be discovered by the female teacher on duty, because of the fear of being caught, the three children directly beat the female teacher to death with a wooden stick, and then fled.
The next day, three children were arrested by the police. Left-behind children, even the most thorough stocking, no one to take care of, let alone no one to care, nature is the most complete release, the final result, with a tragic end, even the most normal growth can not be completed.
Every child has a demon hidden in his heart, and unconditionally freeing and releasing without restraint and discipline will only make the child lack the most basic reverence.
4
Children have no sense of self-discipline
The writer Mao Nan met a mother, a very ordinary family, parents are ordinary, children are ordinary, said that after reading a book by a famous expert, decided to follow his parenting method - free range.
What time to get up, what time to go to bed, the mother never cares, because she feels that the child has a sense of responsibility for herself; as for academic performance, interest is the most critical, never do anything to force.
The result? Three years later, the tragedy occurred, the results are not to say, originally it was still the middle to the upper, after three years, basically at the bottom, other children have one or two specialties, what about her children?
There is no specialty. Playing games is very powerful, other children never bring mobile phones to school, her children never care, play mobile games for more than eight hours a day, often late for school, once also quietly rushed to the game for two thousand dollars ...
She did not understand why such a good method of education would end up being the result of this? In fact, the children who have been destroyed by herding are not the only ones.
I never doubted that the child had a sense of self-management; what I suspected was that the child's sense of self-discipline was not as strong as he thought. But it is infinitely exaggerated by many parents.
Maybe in the end, it is not the child who controls the fate, but the mobile phone that controls the child. A child who does not know self-discipline will never have a future, and freeing and releasing will only make the child lose the most basic control. In the future, such children will not have any competitiveness.
5
Children are not parented
I saw a passage on the Internet, a girl was in line to buy milk tea, lined up well, suddenly ran a child, 7, 8 years old, directly in front of her, his mother is behind.
The girl can't look at it, so small like this, and then she will have it later, questioning his mother, how do you discipline the child.
His mother said indifferently, the child is like this, you let it go.
The girl said coldly, "Why should you let him?" He's so ugly! His mother was so angry that her face was blue, and she pulled the child out.
Saw a more bizarre one the other day. At about 1:00 noon on March 27, two children were taking the elevator in a small district of Zhengzhou, Henan Province, and one of the children had a sudden idea and tried to do stretching exercises in the elevator, while supporting the wall with his hands, while using his feet against the elevator door, and then pedaling hard.
Unexpectedly, the safety door on the inside of the elevator flew out at once, and the main control panel of the elevator was ejected from the wall, if it were not for the protection of the external wall, the consequences would be unimaginable. What was even more unexpected was that after the incident, the mother of the bear child forwarded the surveillance video in the owner group and made a fuss without reason: "Is this elevator made of paper?" ”
"What about the property thanks to my son?" All three views have been subverted.
Behind every child who ignores the rules, there must be parents who have no deeds. For the willfulness and ignorance of children, they choose to close their eyes and also choose to give up their responsibilities as parents.
They certainly did not expect that behind the stocking, it must be a bear, it must be willful, there are no exceptions.
6
The most powerless education: stocking
Over the years, stocking has been embraced by many parents, and children want to be happy, to be free, to release their most perfect nature, and to let them grow up independently and freely. It looks beautiful, but it actually sucks.
Many parents are not "free-range" at all, and what they see as stocking is actually abandonment, indulgence, and finally a violation of the law, or even a violation of the law.
Behind and more grimly, the reality is:
Free-range children do not have the strength to compete with the children of elite families, and the price of free-range may be that you will lose the upward passage forever.
The famous educator Ushinsky said:
If you develop a good habit, you will not be able to enjoy the interest it brings you for the rest of your life, and if you develop a bad habit, you will be paying off endless debts for the rest of your life. In fact, as in any country, elite education has never been free-range!
7
Can't cross the "boundary"
Education scholar Ding Lin told such a story that some time ago, an American guest came to her house - a third-grade girl.
Like all children, the little girl did not have the slightest resistance to candy, and after eating the first one, she wanted to eat the second. She asked her mother if she could. Mom said very clearly, no. The little girl had to accept it calmly.
Many people like to talk about how free, how advanced, and how respectful foreign education is, but consciously or unconsciously ignores it, and there is a clear and visible boundary in front of this freedom, some things can be done, and some things can not be done.
Obama is president of the United States and a Nobel Peace Prize winner, but he is even more proud of one identity — the father of two.
Obama's education of children can be called a model for elite education in the United States. Obama has two daughters, and when they were 10 and 7, he laid down nine house rules that were not complicated, but operational and meaningful:
●●●
House Rule 1: Don't have unreasonable complaints, quarrels or annoying jokes;
House Rule 2: Be sure to make a bed, not just look neat;
House Rule 3: Do your own things, such as making cereal or pouring milk, folding your own quilts, setting your own alarm clock, getting up and getting dressed by yourself;
House Rule 4: Keep the toy room clean;
House Rule 5: Help parents share the housework for $1 a week;
House Rule 6: On birthdays or Christmases, there are no lavish gifts and gorgeous parties;
House Rule 7: Lights go out on time at 8:30 p.m. every night.
House Rule 8: Arrange a fulfilling after-school life: dancing, rehearsal, playing the piano, playing tennis, playing rugby;
House Rule 9: No star chasing.
Looking at it this way, you will find that Obama attaches the most importance to the cultivation of rules, and they are all practical and operable things in life.
Parents should give their children freedom, but this freedom is not unlimited, unruly, unrestrained, and it is not connivance and inaction.
There is nothing wrong with a certain release and tolerance, but in the face of release, there must be a clear boundary, some things can be tolerated, but some boundaries can not be crossed.