Attention! These 3 states of parents are the most likely to hurt children, and they should be changed as soon as possible
The mood of parents is good or bad, which directly affects the child
If the parents are not in a good state, the child will inevitably be hurt
As a parent, you must adjust your state and emotions in time
- Caption
Near the end of the year, many people like to tidy up and clean up
Taking advantage of the good weather these days, I also thought about sorting out my bookshelves
But within a morning, the book I had put on the couch was messed up by my son
Some of them were even damaged, which made me, who loved books, explode in an instant
So he called his son over and scolded him
In fact, I have said this many times before
But whether it was my book or his own book, as long as he had read it, it was either worn or lost everywhere
How many times I say it doesn't work
Once, I put an illustrated version of Tang poems and Song Poems at the head of my bed
But in the blink of an eye, it was gone
I searched all the places where the books were placed and couldn't find them, and I thought to myself, I must have lost my son somewhere
So I asked him to come and ask for half a day, but my son refused to admit it, so angry that I had to punish him for facing the wall
My son didn't want to pay attention to me all day, and the whole person looked very hurt and very depressed
I can't help but wonder if I have really wronged my son? For a moment, I felt guilty
Sure enough, that night, the child's father found my book in the bathroom cupboard
I suddenly remembered that I had brought it into the toilet before
Then, when I washed my hands, I was afraid of getting the books dirty, so I put them in the cupboard, only to turn around and forget
Many times, parents are in a hurry
When you are irritable, you will "accidentally hurt" your child, and you always like to lose your temper with your child
The result not only affects their own image in the child's mind, but also destroys the parent-child relationship
It also leaves a psychological shadow on the child
Generally speaking, parents are most likely to lose control of their emotions in the following 4 states, and they must be vigilant
01
When you are in a bad mood
I believe that many people have had this experience
Once you are in a bad mood, especially when you are full of grievances and complain in your stomach but have nowhere to vent
Usually it becomes picky and picky, and nothing goes well
Especially for the people around you, it is easy to be dissatisfied
Parents with children will provoke their children at this time and vent their inner anger on their children
The child is far away, and once the child gets together, it is rare that he will not be "hit by the pond fish"
I remember that there was a time when I had a bad cough, and one day the father of the child had a few arguments with me
So I was so upset that the child asked me to read him the story
But I couldn't help but annoy him and blame him
"How old are you, you can't watch it yourself"
However, just after saying that he looked at the grievances in his son's eyes, he couldn't help but regret it
Later, I found a way, whenever I was in a bad mood, I would tell my children that I was not in a good state and would come back to me if there was any problem
This way the child will obediently walk to the side, and I have time to calm down
Several times, I didn't get angry with my kids again
02
When you are full of anxiety and anxiety
When a person's heart is full of anxiety, it is natural to lose patience
Therefore, it is easy to become emotionally out of control, picky and difficult
Take myself
Some time ago, my son's final exam, the amount of daily study suddenly increased a lot
Therefore, I was very anxious in my heart, deeply afraid that my son would not be able to pass the exam, and I grasped my son very tightly every day
The child himself is honey and confident, and he is not very nervous
One weekend he played at his grandmother's house until late before returning
So I urged him to hurry up and write his homework, and my son obeyed and quickly packed up his stationery and did it
Who knew that at the beginning of the review, there was a problem, there was a word, the son did not know what it meant
As soon as I saw that I wasn't quite sure, my heart was even more anxious
But I still patiently took out my mobile phone to help my son check it
When I told him the meaning, my son reached out and said, "Let me see."
It wasn't too much to ask for, but I just got angry in an instant and yelled at him
"You know to play every day, don't know what you are confident about, you see that it is time to sleep again, how much can you learn, day by day"
As a result, the son was very unconvinced and muttered a word
"Neither will you"
At this moment, I completely exploded, put away the stationery, and yelled
"Don't learn, waste time"
In fact, many times, children have their own rhythm
No matter how anxious adults are, it doesn't matter
As for our own anxiety, it should not be inflicted on our children
As adults, we must maintain a good attitude and understand that rush cannot solve anything
Whether it is your own problem or your child's problem, the first thing to do is to calm your mind, learn to be patient, and be calm
As the so-called "there will be a road before the car reaches the mountain", as long as you work hard, I believe that everything will have a solution
03
When the body is sick
Some people say that people who are sick have bad tempers
Indeed, many times the body is uncomfortable, which will make people become upset and look at nothing well
In life, many parents like to put their children first
Even if you are sick and uncomfortable, you will endure it and focus on the needs of your child
Yet even parents are not saints
Many times, the more patient you are, the more frightening the outbreak becomes
Once the parents are sick, in fact, the children will also worry and be afraid of uneasiness
I have seen such a scene downstairs in the community
One mother looked very haggard, but the child pulled her and asked her to play football with her
At first, she still had to endure, but in the end, she estimated that she really couldn't stand it, so she said to the child
"Mom take a break, you play by yourself"
However, the child could not see that she was sick, still did not spare, and finally punched her in the face with a small fist
At this moment, my mother exploded and roared
"I'm dying of pain, you won't play by yourself, I owe you ah"
When the child saw his mother like this, he was suddenly frightened, and it was difficult to react before he cried out
As parents, we must pay attention to our own physical health
When you are sick, don't always be patient, take a proper rest, and take care of yourself to take good care of your children
And many times, children are actually much more sensible than you think
When you tell him
"Mom is sick and needs to take a break"
I think a lot of kids, not only won't bother you, but will take care of you in turn
In this way, your mood is naturally better, and the child also knows how to care for people, which can be described as killing two birds with one stone
Because I have been writing for many years, I have always had back pain and neck pain in the past two years
Sometimes I have headaches, and once these symptoms occur and the child is arguing on the side, I feel upset
So every time I remind him
"Mom, it's going to be very uncomfortable, how about you be quieter?"
And every time my son heard me say this, he would obediently go to the room a little farther away from me to play
It will also be much quieter
Once the child's father was over there making a loud phone call, and the son went over to him and told him
"Mom is not feeling well, Dad you are quieter"
Remember that true love is mutual, even for parents and children
Therefore, in addition to giving the child enough care and companionship
We also have to learn to express our feelings authentically, so that children learn to understand and take care of others
This can not only make the relationship between parents and children more open and intimate, but also improve the child's empathy ability
Help your child become a person who knows how to be considerate of others, has a sense of responsibility, and is independent and excellent
As Fromm puts it:
"Love is an instinct, we all love our children and think that this love is selfless. Then be sure to use the right way. ”
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