Daughter becomes a girlfriend: If you want to become friends with your children, parents should take the first step

A friend recently told me something —

My daughter has been throwing a tantrum at me lately because of the pressure of studying. One day I said a few words to her over a small matter, and she looked at me coldly and said that sometimes she really didn't want to live. I was shocked.

Thinking of the tragedy of children jumping off buildings and committing suicide from time to time, I am very worried. The daughter was raised to such a big age, saying that she never had a heart is false, afraid that a mistake will become a big mistake and cause lifelong regrets.

Fortunately, the daughter's words may only be a casual remark of excitement at the time, and the following days have returned to the state of what to do.

All three of us are introverted, usually doing our own things, and my husband and I basically have no habit of chatting with our daughters, that is, there are things to say.

Once I overheard her talking to her classmates on the phone, I felt that I talked more than I talked to us, and I couldn't help but be disappointed and unable to change.

Today's children know more and are more precocious and sensitive to many things.

I once heard a parent say that she overheard her daughter and classmates crying, saying that she felt that she and her parents were not familiar with each other, and sometimes she really hated them for giving birth to herself.

The mother was very sad: "I am good to her with my heart and lungs, why doesn't she appreciate it?" ”

As everyone knows, today's children are no longer satisfied with eating and dressing, they want to be understood, trusted, and respected.

After a period of reflection, I think every parent should ask themselves:

First, do you often listen to your child speak from his heart? Did you exonerate him when he said he was unhappy, scared, and didn't know what to do?

Second, in the process of communicating with your child, can you always be calm, not irritable, not perfunctory?

Third, when your child faces difficulties, such as unsatisfactory grades, being bullied at school, or even falling in love early, do you think about the problem from the perspective of helping him, rather than blindly satirizing, preaching, and even scolding?

I decided to start with the first step, lower my body, no longer talk to my daughter as a normal parent, but communicate with her like a friend, such as what dishes to eat at night, how to arrange on weekends, and what car to change at home.

At first, my daughter was very unaccustomed, in fact, I was a little awkward, but I wanted my daughter to know that she, a little person, also has a status in the family and has the right to decide some things.

Gradually, she became loving and talking to me, and our relationship improved significantly.

Once, I told my daughter about some troubles when I was a child, and my daughter put her arms around me and smiled back and forth, even saying that her current mother was like her girlfriend. At that moment, I felt that the barrier that had been hanging between me and my daughter was gone.

That's the importance of communication, of course, I'm just taking the first step at the moment, and my daughter and I still have a long way to go. May every parent be able to become friends with their children.

After listening to my friend's story, I felt that she was really a clear parent. Many parents can't do her treat their children equally, thinking that you are born to me, I should listen to my words and I am authoritative, or use busyness all day long as an excuse not to care about the mental health of my children. These are not advisable.

Again, if you want your child to grow up healthy and happy, and want to become your child's friend, parents need to take a step ahead. You change, and the child gets better and better. Don't believe you try.