What should I do if the bride repents on the day of the wedding? In the face of this embarrassing problem, presumably most men's first reaction is to be helpless, after all, the probability of encountering this kind of thing is probably even smaller than winning the jackpot.
Of course, for the bride, if it is not a last resort, no one will make this decision, throughout the ages, "repentance" is always a ridiculous thing, especially for women.
Not to mention that in the feudal era of parents' orders and matchmakers' words, a woman's "repentance" is a scandal that hurts customs and customs, and this kind of thing that makes the groom lose face must be rare.
However, in the late Qing Dynasty, there was a famous courtier who suffered a trouble of being "repented" on the day of the big wedding, what kind of grievances and unwillingness would make the bride look down on her husband who was about to worship the church?
Greetings in the late Qing Dynasty
What is even more shocking is that this man who was "repented" by the bride turned out to be the head of the famous "four famous ministers" of the late Qing Dynasty - Zeng Guofan.
People who know a little about modern history know that Zeng Guofan was a famous politician, strategist, writer and military commander in the late Qing Dynasty, and served as the governor of Liangjiang, the governor of Zhili, and the university scholar.
Such a rare worldly wizard, even before he became an extremely popular courtier, must have been a young and promising, prominent prince.
What big family wouldn't want to marry their daughter to such a promising young talent? How can a woman "repent" after having a marriage contract with her?
Zeng Guofan
Let's put aside the illusion of "what should be", in fact, compared with zeng guofan's fame as an official, his youth is completely different.
Zeng Guofan was born in Hunan in an ordinary farming family, the so-called "farming reading" is a kind of half ploughing and half reading lifestyle, the world often says "sunny cultivation and rain reading", referring to this.
Cultivating and reading the family is naturally not a prominent family, but after several generations of hard work, it can also be regarded as a small rich family.
As the saying goes, reading thousands of books and traveling thousands of miles shows that knowledge and vision are extremely precious treasures, and this sentence is applied to Zeng Yuping, the grandfather of Zeng Guofan, which is most appropriate.
The countryside of the late Qing Dynasty
Zeng Yuping has not read any books, but the experience of going south and north for many years has not only opened his eyes, but also accumulated rich social experience, which can be said to be a farmer with a lofty pattern.
Therefore, Zeng Yuping attaches great importance to the education of his children, and he goes all out to train his son to study, hoping that his son can obtain meritorious names, and Zeng Guofan's father, Zeng Linshu, grew up under such a concept.
The cost of reading in the old days was not low, but the matter of reading was not that reading would be successful, and sometimes talent was needed, and in this matter, Zeng Linshu was obviously not talented.
Until zeng guofan was born, Zeng Linshu still had no meritorious name, he knew that he was not talented enough, although he was still making unremitting efforts, he had gradually invested energy and financial resources into his children.
Private schools in the late Qing Dynasty
As the eldest son in the family, Zeng Guofan was sent to a private school by his father at the age of 6, and worshiped under the famous teacher Ouyang Cangming, and was deeply loved by Mr. Ouyang.
Because of his father's emphasis on education, before Zeng Guofan entered the school, classics such as "Zhou Li" and "Shi Ji" were already familiar to him.
If someone thinks that Mr. Ouyang likes him because Zeng Guofan is talented and intelligent, then he thinks too much, on the contrary, Zeng Guofan completely inherited his father's genes, and his talent in reading is very poor.
Other students can memorize the articles after reading a few times, and Zeng Guofan often has to read all day, so that often others sleep, and he also has to pick up the lamp to read at night.
It is said that once a thief came to the Zeng family, hiding on the beam of the study, wanting to wait for Zeng Guofan to finish reading the book and sleeping before coming down to steal, but Zeng Guofan could not memorize the article and delayed leaving.
In the end, even the thief couldn't look at it anymore, so he jumped off the beam and said to Zeng Guofan, "You are so stupid, what other books do you read?" After reading it so many times, even I can memorize it. ”
Then, the thief memorized the article that Zeng Guofan had been memorizing all night, from beginning to end, word for word, and then whisked his sleeve away.
It can be imagined how much this incident hit the young Zeng Guofan, and since then he has studied harder, and it is precisely because of his diligence and hard work that Ouyang Cangming has a great love for him.
Under the teacher's earnest teaching and his unremitting efforts, Zeng Guofan's grades have been greatly improved, and Ouyang Cangming is also very optimistic about his proud protégé.
However, I don't know if it is not talented enough, or whether there is really a family fate, zeng guofan who grew up, like his father, did not pass the initial examination of the imperial examination many times.
It is said that at that time, Zeng Linshu had already taken the exam more than a dozen times, until his son took the imperial examination for the first time at the age of 14, Zeng Linshu still found nothing, but he never wanted to give up.
Later, Zeng Linshu and Zeng Guofan both went to the examination, which also became a unique landscape during each local examination, but from the previous father alone to the list, it became a father and son who both fell on the list.
Examination hall in the late Qing Dynasty
In this regard, Zeng Guofan once laughed at himself: "Since the emperor of the government is tired of the test of learning politics, he will try to take the national domain after the battle, and the father and son will walk on the pen to do the work, and they have not met for a long time." ”
For Zeng Guofan's bitter mood, we can all experience one or two from it today:
My father has been plagued by the imperial examination for many years, and he has not even passed the initial examination more than a dozen times, and now that his son has grown up, the father and son have gone to the examination together.
Full of expectations again and again, one after another wearing stars and wearing the moon, carrying coiled bags, dragging flesh and blood, wading through mountains and rivers for dozens of days to the county seat to take the exam.
After the father and son both fell off the list, it was another eclipse, and they had to go all the way to the wind and dust, and then walked back to their home for dozens of days, thinking about it, it was bitter.
However, kung fu paid off, and after 16 failures, Zeng Linshu finally passed the Xiucai examination, when he was 43 years old.
Nowadays, people often say that "persistence is victory", but how many people can persist until the day of victory?
In the year of his father's examination, Zeng Guofan was 21 years old, and although he fell behind in the imperial examination for many years, his father's persistence and success gave Zeng Guofan great confidence.
However, just as Zeng Guofan was studying hard and preparing to participate in the next imperial examination, a marriage affair with a matchmaker changed his fate.
The ancients often said that starting a family, "starting a family" is always before "establishing a career", in fact, it is not unreasonable, the family is often the strongest backing of men.
Former residence of Zeng Guofan
Moreover, the ancients advocated filial piety, as the saying goes, "no filial piety has three, no queen is greater", therefore, getting married and having children is a more important thing than obtaining a meritorious name.
Seeing that Zeng Guofan had reached the age of marriage, the elders in the family entrusted people to talk to him everywhere, but there was always no suitable candidate, and his parents were very anxious, but Zeng Guofan did not do anything.
Because he was preoccupied with reading, he had little interest in starting a family, coupled with his natural skin disease, and his body was covered with scale-like ringworm, so that he did not have confidence in talking about love.
In order not to let others discover their "defects", no matter the spring, summer, autumn or winter, Zeng Guofan covered himself tightly, which really made him feel inferior.
Weddings in the late Qing Dynasty
When he heard that the Zeng family was going to marry Zeng Guofan, Ouyang Cangming also wanted his proud protégé to start a family as soon as possible, so he introduced the qianjin of the Wang family in the same village to Zeng Guofan.
In Ouyang Cangming's view, Zeng Guofan is sincere, reads steadily, and will become a great instrument in the future, if he can promote a beautiful marriage, why not enjoy it?
For the Wang family's family affair, the Zeng family is also very satisfied, although the Wang family is not a famous and prestigious family, but it is definitely a large family, and the identity of Zeng Guofan is already a high climb.
However, things in this world are like this, often can be "high", but do not want to "low", the Wang family's thousands of gold did not look at this "poor boy" who had no family and no merit.
A large household in the late Qing Dynasty
In order to make the Wang family nod, Ouyang Cangming made several attempts to match, and assured the Wang family that Zeng Guofan was definitely a dragon among men, and he would definitely obtain a meritorious name in the future, and the future was immeasurable.
Because Ouyang Cangming was quite prestigious in the local area and vowed to guarantee that Zeng Guofan would definitely make a difference in the future, the Wang family should also order this marriage, and even set a wedding date.
As the saying goes, life is impermanent, everything is not "absolute", Zeng Guofan in the next two imperial examinations, still fell behind Sun Shan.
The Wang family who did not look up to Zeng Guofan was even more unhappy, a man with no future, did not he have to marry the past to be poor?
Ouyang Cangming was also very embarrassed, and had to say peace with a thick face, but which woman was willing to gamble her happiness in the unknown future?
The Wang family was hindered by Ouyang Cangming's face, and it was not easy to speak bluntly, until the day of the original big wedding, the Zeng family sent a flower palanquin to greet the relatives, and the Wang family really could not hide it, and only then did they say the decision of their daughter to "repent of marriage".
It can be imagined that at that time, Zeng Guofan's mood, the lively street, the greeting team blowing cheerful cheers, the flower palanquin parked at the door of the Wang family, and the surrounding crowd stood to see the liveliness.
When he heard that he had been "repented" by his fiancée, Zeng Guofan felt a dizziness, and his sense of inferiority and ridicule were like an invisible knife, cutting a deep wound in his chest.
Zeng Guofan, who was riding on a horse, looked at the countless onlookers around him, and the pair of shining eyes seemed to be flies on this wound, and he really wanted to find a seam to drill into.
As an introducer, Ouyang Cangming never expected such a thing to happen, this is too absurd, too deviant, now the arrow is on the string, how can he explain to the people of the Zeng family?
At this point, Ouyang Cangming had a clever move and said to Zeng Guofan: "Today's incident blames me, but it doesn't matter, I have a daughter, this year just turned 18, if you don't hate, marry my daughter!" ”
The teacher's words were like life-saving straws, which made Zeng Guofan feel relieved, yes, if he could not marry the bride home today, the Zeng family would definitely be disgraced, which was the last thing he wanted to see.
A welcoming band in the late Qing Dynasty
Moreover, the teacher's daughter, he had seen, although not outstanding in appearance, but generous in demeanor, knowledgeable and reasonable, Zeng Guofan did not think much about it, and he agreed to it.
Some people may say that since he is so optimistic about Zeng Guofan, why doesn't Ouyang Cangming directly give him his daughter Xu? Could it be that he also has no confidence in this proud protégé?
In fact, the reason why Ouyang Cangming did not introduce his daughter to Zeng Guofan is precisely because he knows that Zeng Guofan will not be a small role in the future, just as the so-called "dragon gets clouds and rain, and it is not a thing in the pool."
Although he was his teacher, he was only a talent, unable to provide more help for Zeng Guofan's future, so he had to choose another high branch for him.
Portrait of Zeng Guofan
Now that the Wang family is remorseful, they have no choice but to marry their daughter to him, and in Ouyang Cangming's view, this may be a marriage destined by heaven.
Due to the suddenness of the incident, Ouyang Cangming's daughter Ouyang Shi was completely unprepared, so she got on the palanquin in such a vacuum, and it was inevitable that she would feel a little aggrieved.
It is true that in that backward feudal era, the marriage of children was decided by their parents, especially women, as long as the marriage was determined by their parents, they had no right to choose.
Today's people are looking at arranged marriages in the old days with a critical eye, and they are all fighting for women's "three from four virtues", in fact, from the materialistic view of history, it is not necessary.
The backward concept was examined from today's point of view, but at that time, it was an inevitable product of social development, an inevitable choice of that era, and a generally accepted view of marriage at that time.
For the Ouyang family, no matter who she marries, it is a gamble, and Zeng Guofan is not a relatively safe choice, after all, he "knows the roots" of this person.
However, after becoming a relative in the chapel and entering the cave room, Ouyang Found that she still did not know enough about Zeng Guofan, and she still couldn't help but show consternation in the face of her husband's "skin disease".
Ouyang Shi, who was already a little aggrieved, became more upset after discovering her husband's "secret", and Zeng Guofan also felt that he was sorry for his wife.
In the late Qing Dynasty, the bride was helped into the cave house
At that time, Ouyang's mood, we can fully understand, after all, everything that happened that day, for an 18-year-old woman, was too sudden, too hasty, too dreamy.
After calming down, Ouyang Clan said to Zeng Guofan, "No matter what, I am already your wife, and I recognize what you look like, but in the future you must make me a Lady of commandments." ”
"Lady of the Commandment" is the title given by the emperor to the mother or wife of a high-ranking official of the dynasty, and the meaning of the Ouyang clan is very clear: even for me, you must be a leader and a very popular subject.
Looking at his wife's sincere eyes, Zeng Guofan nodded seriously.
Perhaps, no one has ever thought that two people who were accidentally united together would be very affectionate after marriage, Qinse and Ming.
More importantly, under the care and encouragement of his wife, within a few years, Zeng Guofan was admitted to the jinshi and stepped into the official field.
Just as Ouyang Cangming predicted, although Zeng Guofan's performance in the imperial examination was mediocre, his ability to serve as an official was unmatched.
With his excellent local rectification ability, Zeng Guofan quickly stood out from the grass-roots officials, and completed the amazing record of seven promotions and ten consecutive jumps in ten years.
After that, Zeng Guofan was out of control, forming the Xiang Army, pacifying the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, and launching the Foreign Affairs Movement, not only becoming an official to the viceroy, but also becoming a generation of famous courtiers throughout the ages.
Because of Zeng Guofan's position in the court, his wife Ouyang Shi was given the title of "Lady of yipin", and Zeng Guofan finally fulfilled his promise to his wife.
And the Ouyang family, also proved the promise to her husband with actions, not only kept the Zeng family in order, but also was extremely filial to her in-laws and assumed all the responsibilities that a wife should do.
Recalling the "repentance" of the Wang family, it has contributed to a good relationship, if there is no Wang family's "can't see", Zeng Guofan may not meet a virtuous woman like the Ouyang family in his lifetime.
If that were the case, Zeng Guofan might have a different life.
Say it is fate or say that it is lucky, there will always be the right person in the dark, to believe that what you have is the best, all we have to do is cherish the present.