Humans are social animals.
Therefore, socializing or sophistication also comes with it.
The theme of this article is "some verbal skills in human sophistication".
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When I picked up the pen, I was thinking.
Although in many cases, many people will feel: "Human feelings are the scum left over from history, and now people's feelings are weak, everything is in line with money and profit, what is the use of talking about this?" ”
But I have always felt that existence has a reason.
Just like Tai Chi divides yin and yang, since human feelings have a bad side, they must also have a good side.
Therefore, we cannot completely deny the meaning and value of "its" existence because of the existence of bad, or because we have not yet seen the good side.
Although from a certain point of view, the matter of human sophistication does take people's energy and test people's minds.
However, if there is a lack of human affection to act as a lubricant in social interaction, then imagine that everyone is straight forward, with edges and angles, then such a circle is likely to be scrapped because the wear caused by the operation of internal parts is too serious.
After all, there is no room for maneuver, the opening is either life or death, then such a mode of operation, for a long time, no one can stand it, let alone the rest.
Yesterday I went out with my old friend for a while.
Later, because of some things, I could only work hard and wait for my old friend for a while.
It just so happened that the two were also idle, so they casually talked about a more difficult matter to him.
He said that some time ago, he invited someone who could help his career to dinner.
I originally wanted to borrow this meal to bring each other closer, and to see if I could deepen each other's impression of myself, so that my things could be better carried out.
As a result, after a meal, I did not get a benefit, but was trained by the other party to say a few words.
He glanced at him and asked, "Why, I didn't let your parents accompany you this time." ”
The old friend gave me a blank look and said, "Just a meal, as for?" ”
He immediately frowned and asked, "Do you think it's just a meal?" ”
The old friend was suddenly a little stunned.
He shook his head and said, "From my personal point of view, when a person is willing to accept your personal invitation, it often means that he has a certain interest in you, or the thing you are going to do at the moment, so he will accept your invitation."
But the reason why you end up with being disciplined is the result.
It could also be that in the process of getting along, the other person gives a hint or says hint, but you don't catch it, or you ignore it.
Therefore, instead, let the other party feel that your emotional intelligence is low and will not come to trouble.
Naturally, he was trained. ”
The old friend was stunned, half-dazed, and then smiled bitterly: "It's not so serious!" ”
Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "It's hard to say, it depends on the actual situation." ”
The old friend asked, "For example?" ”
I glanced at him, thought for a moment, and said, "So be it!" I'll give you a few examples and see for yourself if you're guilty. For example, when you inquire about things, whether he explicitly indicates rejection or uncertain rejection, there is a difference.
Things like: "Oh, this thing, can't be done!" "That's clear, which means you don't have to ask anymore, and it's useless to ask.
"Wow! What a thing! It's hard to do. "Then this is uncertainty, and the subconscious mind can also say that there is still room for this matter to operate."
Also, if the other party was silent at that time, it was often not that the other party did not know how to respond.
It's giving you cushioning, or room to add chips.
After all, something!
Directly promised you, then he suffered.
However, if you directly refuse, it will hurt each other's harmony.
Therefore, the silence of the other party is to see if you will do things, whether you can give a price that makes him move.
Thus decided on his next response.
There are many others, but these have to be judged by some corresponding details at that time. ”
The friend was a little helpless, and said, "You say, is it bad to be blunt?" Why is it so complicated! ”
Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "This thing is like a negotiation a lot of times, it's not about dividing your life and death."
Instead, it is controlled within a controllable range. It doesn't hurt each other's harmony too much, and at the same time, it doesn't let yourself suffer losses.
In the end, it is still a way to get things done. ”
When I finished writing this memory, I thought: "Many times, we feel that social reality and human feelings are weak.
But it was overlooked, perhaps, that in the process at that time, people may have wanted to help. But you ignore it.
Or maybe people have actually given you a chance.
It's just that you don't understand, do die! ”
He also thought, "In this world, who dares to say that there is no selfishness, there is no personal thought."
The reason why the charm of human sophistication is charming may be because of the existence of "it", which can better play a corresponding role in coordination and communication.
That's why people are fascinated! ”
……
Foreign text: This article is only written by essays, only can be watched, but not taken seriously!
Note: The pictures are from the internet and have nothing to do with the body!
Text: Read books