Many parents have always complained that their children are introverted, taciturn, and do not see smiling faces all day. But these parents never thought that all the performance of their children is inseparable from family education.
Below, Xiaobian will give examples of several types of parents who are "not good to talk", and I hope that parents will change them if they have them, and encourage them if they do not.
1. Families that often quarrel
Do you know what a child who has been living in an argument for a long time will look like when he grows up? Is it really just a matter of parents arguing?
Many parents feel that quarrels are between adults, but families that often quarrel cannot raise happy children.
When children see their two closest people tit-for-tat, they will be sensitive, nervous, and feel that the safest haven no longer exists.
If children pluck up the courage to persuade their parents to no avail, they will feel frustrated, helpless, unappreciated, and even begin to pessimistically believe that there is no point in living.
And long-term living in a discordant family, in addition to a significant increase in aggression, the child's personality will also change, become emotionally indifferent, lack of trust in others, mean, picky, grumpy, or introverted and depressed, easy to withdraw, lose interest in external things.
Such a child is easy to go astray.
2. Families who don't know how to talk well
Language is emotional, and every word you say is connected, which may bring warmth to people, but it can also bring harm.
Some parents will hardly give their children praise and affirmation. Teasing, sarcasm, and hitting are their usual means of educating their children.
This method of education has a special term, called "percussion education". Common phrases are as follows:
You see who knows more, you, one-tenth of someone I burn incense!
As long as you still want to do XX, forget it. I see you're three minutes hot.
You can't do such a simple thing, what use do you have, it's stupider than a pig.
……
Behind this blow, there are many tears that people secretly shed when they were young.
There is a saying that is very good: the blow from the parents, the damage caused by the effect is not only the present, it runs through the years, like a needle deep in the heart of the child.
3. A family where the wife has not been respected for a long time
In a family, the relationship between husband and wife is always greater than all relationships, including parent-child relationships.
The basis of a good husband-wife relationship is respect, so whether a husband respects his wife or not, the children raised will be very different.
Without a good relationship, don't want to have a good parent-child relationship. This is almost the law of iron.
I had a neighbor whose husband used to scold his wife in front of his children, and sometimes because of a small matter, the child actually scolded his mother in the tone of his father.
As a result, this child in his family has become a well-known in our community, loves to fight, has no one in sight, and now even his father can't manage it...
And my cousin and her husband, usually scold and grin at every turn. According to my cousin, every time she went to her in-laws' house, she would see her father-in-law yelling at her mother-in-law, and the scene was like her husband's treatment of her.
Aren't these the things we often say about the impact of the original family on the child? And the study found that:
Those husbands often scold and insult their wives, and their children mostly have bad relationships and are withdrawn and indifferent as adults.
Those whose husbands beat their wives, their children behaved dirty during school and loved to fight in groups.
From the above example, it is not difficult to see that when the wife has no status at home, there is no mother image in the eyes of the child, and the mother's education of the child will naturally not be effective.
When a child makes a mistake, any preaching by the mother to him will be ignored or even despised by the child. Over time, the child will not listen to anyone.
All happy children are similar. The family is the world of the mother, the kingdom of the father, the paradise of the children. This is what a happy family should look like.