In the morning, on the way to work, I met a boy and his mother. It seems that because the boy does not want to go to school, the boy's mother is very uncool, and three punches and two kicks knock the boy to the ground.
"If you beat me to death, I won't go, I just won't go to school!" The boy shouted under his mother's knees, his hands and feet kept resisting, and his mother was even more angry and unable to speak, panting.
At this time, the mother of another child stepped forward, pulled the boy up from the knee of the mother, did not hesitate to slap the soil on the child's body, and wiped the child's tears with her hands: "How can such a good child be beaten, don't cry." Let's go across the street and tell my aunt that the child must have been wronged! ”
The boy obediently followed the mother across the street.
"If you can follow my aunt to me, it shows that you are a very obedient child, and your aunt likes obedient children." Tell your aunt that you don't want to go to school? ”
The boy shook his head.
"That must be afraid that the teacher will punish you, right?"
The boy nodded.
"Why did the teacher punish you?" Didn't finish your homework? ”
"It's not right that you didn't finish your homework, but there must be a reason why you didn't finish your homework, right?" I feel like you're a very obedient kid! Why not tell mom? ”
"Don't dare! Mom would beat me up. Just now, I said not to go to school, she beat me, if she knew I didn't finish my homework she would beat me to death! Anyway, I don't have a way to live, so let her beat me to death! ”
"You tell me, why didn't you finish your homework?"
"My book fell in the classroom yesterday, so I can't do it, I want to go to the classroom to finish it today, and I'm afraid that the teacher will know that I didn't finish the homework and punish me, I'm afraid."
"Well, let your mother go home, I'll go to school with you, talk to the teacher, just make up the homework, I know the teacher, plead for you, don't finish your homework in the future, okay?"
The boy nodded, then followed the mother into the school.
Seeing this, I am reminded of the "shun donkey".
I remember when I was in junior high school, there was a young farmer driving a donkey to the field to deliver fertilizer. Walking on the road, I suddenly saw a red flag planted on the side of the road in front of me, and the donkey did not go. So the peasant beat the donkey with a whip, and the more the donkey was beaten, the more the donkey did not go, and the donkey's hooves desperately stomped on the ground.
Just then, an elderly man happened to pass by and stepped forward to stop the young man. He threw the whip aside, slapped his hand on the donkey's head, paused for a moment, took off his shirt, blocked it on the donkey's head, patted the donkey gently, and the donkey obediently walked over.
The old man told the young peasant, "Your donkey is very obedient, the more you beat it, the more you will not go, you have to follow it, it is a smooth donkey." Do you see that red flag in the back? It's afraid of red! ”
The young man suddenly realized.
It's the same with kids. To understand the child's temper, at least to understand the situation, can not only use one way to "teach" the child, most of the children are "smooth donkey", the pipe to the point can make the child convinced.
Carnegie said, "If you want honey, don't poke the honey." "If you want your child to obey, it is best not to choose punishment. In the form of punishment, even if the child is obedient, they are not convinced.
There are always more ways than problems, more communication, good communication, especially to make things clear, in order to come up with targeted solutions to solve problems.
Like the mother above, teaching her son without understanding the situation will only make things worse. I still have to give the passer-by mother a thumbs up, because she knows how to "ride a donkey".