No matter how much you love your child, you also want him to endure these 5 kinds of suffering

Love, must know how to divide inches, have principles.

I once saw a passage like this on the Internet:

The greedy play of the 20-year-old has created the helplessness of the 30-year-old;

The helplessness of 30 years old has led to the inaction of 40 years old;

The inaction of the 40-year-old laid the foundation for the failure of the 50-year-old;

The failure of the 50-year-old brewed a lifetime of inaction.

Man who lives a lifetime will not suffer now, but will suffer in the future; if he suffers for a time now, he will suffer for a lifetime.

We hope that all parents understand:

No matter how much you hurt your child, you must make him suffer. Only by allowing children to endure these five kinds of suffering can children grow up healthily.

The bitterness of independence

Remember last year's circle of friends screen brush story "tomato scrambled eggs"?

A new international student in the United States wants to make scrambled eggs with tomatoes to entertain his classmates.

However, he neither knows how to beat eggs, nor can he cut tomatoes, nor does he know whether to put eggs or tomatoes in the stir-fry.

So he sent a voice to ask his mother in China for help, and his mother hurriedly sent voice guidance, but the boy still did not understand.

There was no way, the mother had to personally demonstrate it herself, record it and send it to her son.

Under the detailed guidance of his mother, the boy finally completed the most ordinary and basic traditional Chinese food, and was praised by his classmates.

It wasn't until the end of the video that the boy realized that his mother got up at 4 a.m. to show him how to make scrambled eggs with tomatoes.

Many people were touched by the video and praised: Where there are good years, it is just someone who carries the weight for you.

But what more people see is that boys are not independent, they are all the age at which they can get married and have children, and when they encounter such a small thing, the first thing that comes to mind is "looking for a mother", a proper mother's treasure.

Now the children in primary school know that if they don't understand something, they can ask Baidu, and they can ask Google abroad, how they have to get up in the middle of the night to let their mothers get up and personally demonstrate.

Some people feel sorry for the mother in the video, and it is undeniable that she loves her son, but they also have to admit that they are the ones who have caused the current situation.

When the child is around, the child is not taught to be independent, and when the child goes far, he has to suffer from "not being independent".

Peng Kaiping, dean of the Academy of Social Sciences at Tsinghua University, said:

True parenting is not about growing plants in a greenhouse, but about helping children build a full personality while teaching them to face the world alone.

But parents often love their children and often say: You just have to study, and don't worry about the rest.

So everything is done for the child, everything is for the sake of the child, which is not wrong, but can parents raise their children for a lifetime?

If not, it is better to let go and teach the child to be independent, so that he has the ability and courage to face the world alone.

In this way, even if one day loses the strong backing of parents, children can continue to move forward along the original track of life.

The bitterness of reading

On the return trip of the Dragon Boat Festival, I met a fellow countryman and chatted a few words, knowing that he had just finished the college entrance examination.

Ask him, how do you feel about the test? He said it was much better than last year.

Last year was also this time, he ended the college entrance examination, but the score was only enough to go to a vocational and technical college, his parents said to let him repeat the study, he refused.

Instead, I followed a group of classmates to work, and I didn't have much expectation in my heart, just thinking that I could earn a tuition fee before the start of school in September.

But did not expect so little, they work hard every day, a month to earn 1,000 yuan, although the package of food and accommodation, but the accommodation environment is very bad, there is always a smell of urine if there is nothing.

Within a few days, several of the classmates who came with him ran back in ashes, and he thought about fighting for a breath, thinking that he could still persist.

A month later, when it was time to pay wages, the factory told them that they would press for a month to pay them again, and he collapsed instantly.

At the right time, his parents talked about letting him re-read again, and he went back, but it was not easy to re-read, but no matter how bitter it was, it was not as hard as the part-time work at that time.

He said: "Reading is hard, but it is a dignified suffering, and when I work, I often feel that I am not a person, but a machine that works." ”

This year, he got up at 5:30 a.m. every day and went to bed at 12:30 p.m., insisting on it for 365 days, and the test paper was one meter high.

Young and crazy, always feel that reading is the most painful thing in the world, slowly walk through that age to realize that reading is the best way in the world.

A few days ago, I watched the enrollment propaganda films of Peking University and Tsinghua University, and my heart was deeply touched.

If I could turn back the clock, I would like to tell myself who felt that reading was difficult: work harder and go to a better school, this is really different.

The child is ignorant, but the parents are the ones who come over.

When the child wants to be lazy, force him, encourage him when he wants to give up, and one day, he will thank the hardships he has suffered for reading today.

The bitterness of labor

Some time ago, such a report made people angry and speechless.

David, 48 years old, has achieved excellent results since childhood, studied abroad after graduating from Tongji University, and obtained a master's degree from a famous foreign university, which can be said to have a very good resume.

But after returning home, his life took a 180-degree turn.

After graduation, David refused to go out to work, sleeping during the day, playing games at night, and relying on his 80-year-old mother with uremia for 6 years.

Ding Apo's monthly pension is 3500 yuan, and the treatment fee alone costs 2000, and the rest has to support herself and her son.

In order to force her son to work, Ding Even thought of taking him to court to ask him to pay alimony.

Ding Apo, who was physically and mentally exhausted, said in the show: "Before, he was ready-made and reliant. ”

Even more speechless, David also blamed his current state on his mother's previous coddling.

In reality, there are many parents who are afraid that their children are tired and injured, and they take care of their children from an early age, and they "take care" of food, clothing, housing and transportation.

They don't realize that coddling to a certain extent is poison that will ruin the child's future and their own lives.

The quality of hard work and independence will never become obsolete, and it is also a pain that children must endure.

As Carnegie put it, "In order to live successfully, young people must learn to stand on their own feet in order to remove the obstacles that lie in the ground."

"Habitual children are like killing children", this sentence deserves the vigilance of all parents.

The bitterness of criticism

I once saw a report that a young boy of about 10 years old openly peed in the elevator of the community.

The property manager found out and said a few words to the child and told the child's mother. How did this mom do it?

She immediately criticized the child severely, asking the child to write a review and paste it in the elevator to apologize to everyone and clean the elevator for a month.

Can't help but give this mom a thumbs up. Children who make mistakes will never be protected, they should be criticized and criticized, and they should be disciplined and disciplined not sloppy at all.

Parents let their children understand the rules from an early age, willing to let him suffer from criticism, just like a small tree constantly gives him a positive posture, and will grow up to be tall and lush.

On the contrary, if a child runs into trouble when he is a child and thinks of using money to settle the peace, or even ignores it, when he grows up, a small evil becomes a big evil, which will inevitably lead to bitter results.

So-called: "Good words are good for the disease." ”

Children are in an age when they cannot distinguish between right and wrong, parents should lead by example, wake up with words, guide children to the right path, and for some mistakes, do not get by.

The bitterness of parenting

A Tsinghua professor once indignantly said: The biggest scam of Chinese education is happy education, useless academic qualifications and the release of children's nature, and these three scams are distorting the growth of Chinese children step by step.

How many parents take the reason that "the child is small and ignorant" and "he is still a child" and turn a deaf ear to the uncultured behavior of the child.

On the Chongqing subway, a child wore shoes and stepped on the seat back and forth, and some people could not see it and came forward to dissuade it.

The child's mother actually scolded the passenger: "What's wrong?" Is there a law that prevents children from standing on top of this? The child heard that his mother supported himself and was even more unscrupulous.

Some people say that 99% of the problems in children come from the family, the parents' three views hide the future of the child, you condone the child today, tomorrow the child's uncultured consequences may be fiercely retaliated against you.

Last year, a bear child punched and kicked the man next door on the plane to the United States, and the parents not only did not discipline, but also beat up the man, and as a result, the plane landed, and it was actually the FBI that greeted them, and they were directly deported.

As the old saying goes, if a person is polite, he is safe, and if he is rude, he is dangerous.

You may be able to spoil your child and indulge your child for a lifetime, but once you go into society, others will not get used to him.

Poor and rich, it is better to be educated.

You are willing to let your child bear the pain of parenting, so that the child's future path can be smooth, and he will be more easily accepted by others and by this society.

Life is long, and parents cannot protect their children for a lifetime.

A good parent is the one who gives him the right to fish, not a tight seam to protect his child.

Life is like tasting tea, and you know how to endure hardships to have a sweet return.

No matter how much parents love their children, they must let go at the right time, make up their minds, and be willing to let him eat these 5 kinds of suffering.

Love, must know how to divide inches, have principles. Please forward and share, carry forward the traditional Chinese culture!

Source: Teacher E Home

Source: New Parents Online