01
Reality is a world where "contradictions" are extreme. All magical things happen, there is something you can't imagine, there is no reality that doesn't exist.
In the matter of interacting with people, who do you think should be good to, and who should be indifferent to whom?
From a normal point of view, we all think that we should be good to our relatives and indifferent to outsiders. The reason is simple, our relatives have a close relationship with us, and outsiders have nothing to do with us.
However, reality is often "anti-normal". That is to say, most people will choose to be enthusiastic about outsiders and indifferent to their relatives. When it comes to reasons, no one can give them.
Why is this happening?
In essence, it is still a matter of human nature. People have a characteristic, that is, they like to "go against the grain". If you want me to do something, I will not do anything. The psychology of "rebellion" is extremely serious.
In the case of "respecting outsiders and looking down on their families", people should have respected their families, but now they are doing the opposite. In the end, moral ideas are difficult to completely change a person's nature and psychology.
In real life, those who respect outsiders but look down on their families, essentially have these 4 mentalities, to stay away.
02
Mentality one: "Bullying the inside and fearing the outside" mentality.
Greek philosophers believed that humans always felt a fear of the unknown.
What human beings fear most is not the fear of the known, but the fear of the unknown. Known fears, no matter how severe, are not taken too seriously by humans. And the fear of the unknown, that will make people uneasy.
In the case of family and outsiders, who do you think makes people feel afraid? Undoubtedly, it is definitely the latter. Because the former knows the roots and is particularly easy to grasp, while the latter knows no one knows his details, people will naturally feel afraid.
This is the mentality of "bullying the inside and fearing the outside".
No one will disrespect outsiders, but there are definitely people who will disrespect their loved ones. In the eyes of many people, the consequences of not respecting outsiders, no one knows, there are certain risks. The result of not respecting the loved ones is just being said a few words, and there is no risk at all.
From this point, we can see that most people have a nature of bullying the soft and afraid of the hard. This nature applies to everyone, whether it is a relative or an outsider.
In the end, it is still the "weakness of human nature" at work.
03
Mindset two: "Far away from the smell of the near smell" mentality.
In the eyes of the wife, the husband of his own family is not good, or the husband of someone else's family is the best. In the eyes of the husband, it is still the best wife of others, but the wife of his own family is still a little worse.
In the eyes of the in-laws, the daughter-in-law of her own family is really bad, or the daughter-in-law of the next family is diligent enough. In the eyes of the daughter-in-law, the in-laws of the girlfriend's family are the best, but the in-laws of their own families are still a little worse.
I believe that many people have had this mentality like the above. Even between parents and children, there will be such a mentality.
Human beings have an inferior nature, that is, they think that other people's things are definitely better than their own things. This is particularly prone to family conflicts and affects the development of the family.
To put it graphically, you are used to eating big fish and meat all day, and suddenly one day you see a piece of dry bread, dry, no nutrition at all, but you still think this dry bread tastes good.
why? Because I haven't tried it, I think it's good. The mentality of "far away and near smell" will make people miss true love, so as to move towards a cold and lonely future.
04
Mindset three: "Regardless of the weight" mentality.
When the husband works in the unit, he always obeys his colleagues and leaders, smiles and greets each other, and has no resentment at all. But when he got home, he threw his temper at his wife and children.
When dealing with outsiders, the wife basically does not sin. Especially when you meet your boss, you basically have no temper. However, as soon as she returned home, she thought that her husband made less money, and she would immediately speak harshly to each other.
Most people have the habit of maintaining a "moody and angry" posture when they are outside, giving others a good temper. But when you get home, the real and grumpy side comes to mind.
Some emotional counselors believe that taking out the breath of the people around them is the best way to clear the sullen breath that everyone knows in their minds.
To put it bluntly, no one wants to offend outsiders, but people are not afraid to offend their loved ones.
This is the "no matter what the important" mentality affects people's ideas and choices.
05
Mindset Four: "Infighting insider, outfighting outsider" mentality.
In the folk, there is such a saying, the nest is horizontal, and the outside is instigated.
This statement applies wherever it is placed. Why? Because the behavior of "nesting horizontally" is what people are good at doing.
The essence of the nest is to fight inside and outside.
Fighting with their families, most people do not change their faces, and their hearts are particularly calm. Because they know that their families will not really hurt them and will always forgive them.
When fighting with outsiders, most people will be nervous and uneasy, not knowing what conspiracies and tricks outsiders will use to calculate them. You know, choosing respect in the face of the unknown is a good play for human beings.
Respecting outsiders and looking down on family members is ultimately an "unclear" approach. Outsiders are too good, not necessarily outsiders must be sincere to you. And being nice to your family is a long-term investment.
Only by looking at problems at a higher level can we try our best to overcome the inferiority of human beings.
Wen/Shushan has deer