When the child behaves well, the parents will give the child a reward with substances, which is not advisable
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When children perform well, parents tend to reward their children with what they want, but parents are often not good at rewarding with words. Material rewards, which are valid in the short term, but not necessarily in the long term.
Because we are using this behavior to imply that the child, you are not working for yourself, you are just trying to get a reward, which is a very subtle but terrible hint that will annihilate the child's internal motivation to be independent. How can such hints be avoided in education?
First, parents should lead by example. For example, when a child arrives at home and sees that the home is in chaos, he throws away his school bag and takes off his shoes. His clothes were also taken off directly and thrown to the ground. At this time, my mother began to clean up the house, and while cleaning, she said: "This morning is too busy, confiscating the living room, making such a mess." Come, baby, let's clean up the house together, I believe you are the best! ”
After a while, the child and his mother cleaned up the house together and cleaned it up. The child was also very comfortable and had a sense of accomplishment and began to tidy up his room. The parent's behavior gives the child a hint of tidying up the room and keeping it clean. This is a mirror, so that children have a demonstration of learning, children will be easier to learn.
Second, speak up about your feelings, be honest about how his actions affect your parents, let him see how you feel, and teach them to see things from your perspective. For example, I am very unhappy, because every day you come home from school and have to stay up all night to write homework, resulting in lack of sleep and inability to get up in the morning. In order to wait for you, Mom delayed a lot of work.
Third, make your child feel important. You wash the dishes for me so that I can cook much more conveniently and not be bored. Similar praise can make children feel that their actions and efforts have really worked, and help build their children's confidence. This good feeling will make them more willing to take the initiative to do something from the inside, rather than always relying on material rewards
Fourth, the skillful use of spiritual praise. Mom was happy when her son finally solved a math puzzle, but she didn't say, "Son, you're really smart." But she said: "I think today's math homework is quite difficult, you can do it, you must be working hard!" The son said, "Yes, Mom! I tried! The mother took the opportunity to say: "Son, now that you have solved all the difficulties, you have a great sense of accomplishment." Happy to think about it! "The mother's words inspire the child's inner enthusiasm for learning and thinking, rather than learning for praise."
In short, as a parent, you should know that material rewards are far less meaningful and long-term than verbal praise and encouragement, so it is recommended that parents use less or no material rewards in the process of accompanying their children to grow up together, and use the correct language to encourage and guide their children, so that children become healthier and better.
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