Author: Taki Tadashi
Source: Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu)
Ask a question before the article starts:
If you were to open the WeChat chat box now and find the conversation page with your dearest friend, please tell me how long you have not been in touch with each other?
Some people say that growing means constantly losing.
I understand more about human feelings and sophistication, and gradually lose the simplicity and innocence in my eyes.
He gained more fame and fortune, but lost time with his family and many precious friendships he had.
From nothing to say, to nothing to say.
Those who have accompanied us in our lives have finally drifted away.
There was a question on Zhihu: "Why do many people walk and walk and disperse?" ”
One replied, "Because any relationship requires maintenance costs."
When people are slowly estranged from each other and cannot give nutrients to this relationship, we can only watch our friends drift apart. ”
Yes, when people reach middle age, it is perfectly normal for friends to be separated.
When I think of college, I stuck to three roommates in the same dormitory every day.
We helped each other occupy seats in class, went to the canteen to eat together after class, and the group homework was very tacitly coordinated, and many students envied the atmosphere of our dormitory.
At that time, one of her roommates fell out of love, and the boy who was with her was a classmate of other majors, confessed to her that she had fallen in love with another girl, and asked to break up.
When I was young, a little emotional entanglement was a big thing in life at that time.
At that time, my roommate cried every day to wipe her tears, and she was in no mood to do anything, and several of our sisters took turns to give her food, buy milk tea, and leave one person responsible for doing "psychological enlightenment" for her every day.
When we talked about wine together on the graduation trip, she said:
"In fact, that breakup is not a loss, after all, I lost my love, but I got a friendship that I will cherish for the rest of my life."
That night, we chatted about each other's black history of college and laughed late.
It's just that we didn't expect that in the next five years, some of us would study abroad, some of us would return to the small city to accompany our parents, and some of us would go to the big city to break in.
At first, we would report on the latest situation in the dormitory group, and then as everyone's life trajectory gradually changed, there were fewer and fewer topics to talk about, and the group gradually cooled down.
Many times people are no longer in touch, and there is no need for any reason.
Everyone has their own family and has limited energy. The sisters who used to walk in the playground and hold hands slowly became a relationship that watched the dynamics in the circle of friends.
Occasionally, when you talk about how tired you are working in the big city, she talks about how hard it is to bring your baby, and asks you when you will return to your hometown and when you will get married.
From nothing to say, to nothing to say, many times the relationship fades, and there is not even a need for a goodbye.
People often say that long-term love is equal between husband and wife, in fact, this truth also applies in friendship.
Before participating in the high school alumni association, everyone was middle-aged, sitting around a table, talking about the past of high school.
Talking about their respective presents, I found that everyone was affected by their own living environment, and their cognition and opinions were very different.
Some people think that hard work is not important, the key is to have a good relationship with the leader, some people think that the wife should take care of the family, and the rest should not think too much.
There are also people who have already owned their own technology companies, but everyone does not understand the company's business, and may not want to understand.
Can only cooperate with a few perfunctory words: "Learning to bully is not the same."
The gap in social resources, status, and insight between students has become larger, and they are unable to understand and talk to each other.
Everyone has nothing to say, can only reminisce about the past, the past has been chewed repeatedly, light and tasteless.
Blogger @ Anti-Pants Front once said a sentence that is particularly heartfelt:
"When people reach middle age and their friends are scattered, in addition to their own families and limited energy, in fact, the bigger reason is that many people stop growing, stop progressing, and even stop accepting reality."
Even if you are always willing to accept such a friend, such a friend will eventually automatically go away because he does not want to contrast with you.
Please don't regret it, even if you are lonely, you have to improve. ”
I believe that everyone has seen the warm and healing "Please Answer 1988", and many viewers have been touched by the beautiful friendship between them.
But have you found that the reason why these children can maintain high-frequency communication is that their lives are actually very synchronized.
When they were young, they lived together every day and had convenient environmental conditions.
But with the passage of time, everyone gradually grew up, except for Dog Huan who was a soldier in the army, although others became flight attendants, doctors, and Go masters, but whenever they had time, they would come to Donglong's hotel to drink and party.
Everyone strives to grow on their own life tracks, but they will get together regularly to reminisce about the past, share their life progress, and provide life advice to each other.
Many people think that friends are two straight lines, meeting at some intersection in life, and then parting ways.
But the real long-term feeling is that they grow up with each other, they are evenly matched, they grow after they intersect, and they grow up and intersect.
When we get together in this way, we can not only reminisce about the past, but also have more new stories to tell.
We are busy running forward, and only occasionally when we look back on life will we find that some friendships have gradually faded.
Feelings that can be faded do not mean that they are not strong.
I once met a particularly good friend at work, we ate together every day, gave advice on each other's tasks, and did not suspect each other at work.
Later, for various reasons, she left her job, and after we separated, we had a few meals and had some intersections, but the connection between them was not as close as before.
Until one day she had a cold late at night, very uncomfortable, I received a message from her to ask the party is inconvenient, without saying a word to go to her house to take care of her.
Later she said: "It was really helpless to be sick in the big city, and I didn't know why that day, my first reaction was to call you, and I felt that you would definitely come to help me." ”
True friendship is not necessarily intimate every day, nor is it necessarily a phone porridge to synchronize the progress of life at any time.
A phone call when you are sick, a text message on your birthday, and a comfort in your life at a low point are the most touching aspects of friendship.
Sanmao once wrote in the anthology "Caprice":
"Knowing that zero implementation is the norm of life, and being able to talk occasionally while still being gentle in your heart is a good friend."
True friends are happy for you when you are successful, not in the mood.
When you encounter misfortune or sadness, it will give you timely support and encouragement.
When you have shortcomings and may make mistakes, it will give you the right criticism and help.
Good friendship, born with fate, light and light, silent, can withstand the wash of the years, and can carry the hundreds of turns of time.
In life, how many precious feelings are worth remembering, and how many good times are worth savoring.
Those friends who are far away from us, we bless him.
Those friends who have remained with us after all the years, we cherish him.
Believe in kindness, believe in sincerity, believe in the beauty between people.
For the rest of your life, may you have sincerity and sincerity, the ability to love others, and the kindness of good friendship.
The author | Tian Zi Grid, on time to bear fruit, leaves do not dry out.
Pictures | Visual China