Confession of a wise daughter-in-law: I am looking for something for the old man

The "looking for things" we want to talk about this time does not mean that there is nothing wrong, but that we can help the old man find some things that he can do, and he is willing to do. Through this kind of "looking for things", the parenting contradictions between each other will be reduced a lot, and the lives of the elderly will be more colorful.

1. Let the elderly be the master and take charge of the decision to subscribe to the magazine

My mother was a kindergarten teacher for a while when she was young, and within a few months she was transferred to the agency. But it was during that time that made her always think that she was an authority on parenting, and we young parents did not know how to bring children. In the beginning, I often debated with her at home about a certain parenting topic, which made everyone very unhappy.

Later, I can slowly understand her, I think she actually still wants to bring the child well, but lacks some new knowledge and ideas. How to raise children, in her mind, is still the theory of decades ago. So I had a stroke of genius and came up with a good way to inadvertently help her make up for the parenting experience of the new era.

One day, I solemnly consulted with my mother and said that I wanted to order a parenting magazine, but there were too many parenting magazines on the market, I didn't know which one to order, I was too busy, I wanted to ask her to read it all and get an idea. Mom readily agreed. So I bought home more than a dozen parenting magazines of the same issue, and the old lady began to "review" the contents of the magazine seriously. At first, she thought that this was not a big deal, but she saw that she paid more and more attention to it, not only picking up the magazine to read when she had time, but also preparing a red pen and notebook, drawing or copying down all the places she thought were important.

After a week, she looked for a night, put out all the magazines, a local analysis with me, which article is good, which photo is good, which problem magazines have contradictions between the statements, which things she saw from which magazine for the first time... The final conclusion is that I could consider ordering two of them, as their knowledge is complementary and both are practical.

I followed my mother's instructions and hurried to the post office to order these two magazines. Later, as soon as each issue of the magazine arrived, my mother immediately put on reading glasses and read them hungrily. Since then, there have been few quarrels between us about raising children, only once, or I was wrong, and my mother triumphantly took the magazine and questioned me with nothing to say, so I had to obediently confess to her. What I found for her finally made her a true parenting authority in my family. (Baby Xin'er, daughter 1 year old)

2, for the sake of the baby, the old man learned to draw

To be honest, my family really doesn't need the help of the elderly to take care of the children. From the moment I became pregnant, I hired a babysitter, and during the confinement period, I invited my sister-in-law, and then I hired a childcare sister-in-law when my sister-in-law left, and I was also a full-time mother. It's just that we are a big family, and the big villa that my husband bought when he first wanted to live with his parents and enjoy the joy of the world.

But many old people let them help with the children, they are not willing; but if he really does not have to take care of anything, he will be idle. That's what my mother-in-law is. At first, she also said that she didn't have to worry about it, but really when the baby was born, she was busy, and every day she ran into my room to see the baby, and then ran to nag the nanny that the fish bought was not fresh enough, and then complained to me that the parenting sister-in-law was lazy, which really made me feel very tired!

Seeing that the childcare sister-in-law and the nanny had the intention of not wanting to do it, and could no longer let things develop, I began to actively "find things" for my mother-in-law.

One day, while walking in the community with her baby, I heard a mother complaining that after her mother-in-law went to the old university, she didn't even cook for them. I suddenly had a plan and hurried to "lobby" my mother-in-law. Of course, since her current interest is in the baby, I will not directly tell her to let her go to some old age university, she is certainly not interested. I just said, "Mom, listen to the experts, now that babies like to look at paintings, don't you like drawing?" Experts said that the paintings painted for the baby made him look better. Paint him some nice pictures! "The mother-in-law was very happy, and quickly went out to buy paper and pencils, and she was not satisfied after fiddling with her room for most of the day. That day, I deliberately went to the university of the elderly, and asked the teacher to call my mother-in-law and ask her if she would like to learn to draw. My mother-in-law listened, it was really "timely rain", ah, the next day rushed to the trial class. As A result, as I expected, my mother-in-law became addicted to painting and dragged her father-in-law along to paint. Every time she finished painting, she rushed to my room to give the baby a "look" of the work, and the baby also stared hard at the face, making her more motivated.

The mother-in-law also often invited her "classmates" to go to other places to sketch, to Beijing to paint the Great Wall, to Lushan to paint waterfalls, and she was very busy. Our parenting life has also become more harmonious. (MaggieZ, son 4 months)

3. The old man transforms into an amiable piano tutor

My daughter was 4 years old and, according to my plan, started letting her learn piano. In fact, I didn't want her to play very well, I just wanted her to have such a hobby. Unfortunately, there is a "troublemaker" in my family, and my plan to urge my daughter to practice and learn the piano has been repeatedly frustrated. For example, I asked my daughter to touch the piano every day, even if it was only 10 minutes, but my mother-in-law would be very dissatisfied and say: "If the child doesn't like to practice, don't practice!" When she said this, her daughter did not want to touch the piano anymore. After my mother-in-law accompanied the baby to a class, she came back and said in front of the child: "The teacher is too strict and does not know how to communicate with the child." "As a result, the baby cried and said that he would not go to class the second week.

Seeing that the plan to learn the piano was in vain, I said to my mother-in-law very helplessly: "Simply, you first find a place to learn the piano, and then teach her to get it." Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law agreed. So I found her a female teacher who had returned from studying piano in Russia, and came to her house to teach her to play the piano when the baby was in kindergarten during the day. At first, the mother-in-law worked hard to prove that she was more suitable for teaching her granddaughter than the teacher, but later after she could play some simple and beautiful songs, she became more energetic on her own, practicing every day without moving, always trying to play a song to perfection. Through learning the piano by herself, she also knew the necessity of practicing the piano, and also began to urge the baby to practice, and the baby watched the grandmother work so hard and hard, the practice was not so difficult, and sometimes the two also grabbed the piano.

At first, Grandma confidently taught the baby a few times, and then she told me that she should ask the teacher to teach her, and she would only teach the child as a "tutor". Since I also learned the piano, my grandmother knew that many of the songs looked simple, and it was not so easy to play in fact, and she was more patient than I was. Sometimes I can't help but nag the child a few words like "how can I still play it wrong", which is refuted by my grandmother: "You play one to try." With the grandmother's "support", the daughter has no pressure when practicing, very relaxed, and very happy. Where the play is not good, Grandma and her "conquer" together, when the play is good, the two happily eat chocolate together to celebrate.

On my baby's 5th birthday, I deliberately chose a restaurant with a piano and asked all the old and young to play the best songs. In order to make the performance foolproof, the two of them practiced hard for a long time! I think that since my mother-in-law learned piano, her personality has become milder and more optimistic than before. It seems that music can be influenced not only by children, but also by the elderly who cannot "resist" ah, huh. (Zi Xuan mother, daughter 5 years old)

Editor's Note:

It should be reminded that if you are looking for something that the old man is not willing to do, then do not force her, otherwise it will backfire. Anyway, there are so many "things", as long as we pay more attention, we will definitely find something that can achieve our goal and that she is willing to do.

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