Today, Dad was fanned by a 9-year-old girl, because she almost achieved the ceiling of children of the same age practicing writing!
The following poster, from a distance, you still think that the little girl is copying the poster, the camera zoomed in and found that these "printed bodies" were written by the little girl herself.
Obviously only 9 years old, the words written out make many adults ashamed of themselves.
According to the little girl's mother, the child is currently in the third grade of primary school. Although the process of practicing words is very boring, my daughter has great perseverance and has been insisting on it for more than 400 days.
Because the child has experienced the fun from practicing characters and his own efforts, he has now joined the Nanyang Hard Pen Calligraphy Association
In today's popular Internet products, it has brought three drawbacks:
1, more impetuous, it is difficult to sink the heart to focus on one thing
2, used to mobile phone typing, voice input, many people are picked up and forgot to write
3, more and more addictive products, people's self-discipline is getting worse and worse
The most valuable thing about the little girl is that her self-discipline, independence, and upbringing are rare among peers, on the contrary, the routine operation of many parents is: every morning they tirelessly wake up the baby, help the baby dress, send the baby to school; every night the old scalper urges the baby to study, arranges the baby to wash, and ends the hard-working day.
They arrange the children's life, learning and socializing in every detail, but the children are like marionettes in their hands, and once they let go, they are completely independent. The reason is that these parents do not know how to let their children establish an independent consciousness, how to make parents less tired, but also to cultivate children's good habits and self-discipline, these three points parents must know:
1, the best education is to let children develop habits
There is a saying called: the more self-disciplined, the more freedom!
Before letting children be free, only rules allow children to develop self-discipline in a subtle way
For example, the 9-year-old girl in front of her, everyone only saw that she had a beautiful hand of hard pen calligraphy, but no one saw that she still had such a schedule behind her!
And such a schedule, the little girl insisted on 4 years at once! Many parents will wonder, how can it last so long? In fact, the root cause lies in the attitude of being a parent!
It is not that you must be tough, on the contrary, it is "gentle and firm", and to speak is to speak softly and firmly in principle!
Why did the little girl end up falling in love with calligraphy and enjoying the fun of being guided into it? In fact, children will like the familiar life program (also known as the "comfort zone")
When parents use a gentle attitude and do repetitive deliberate exercises, slowly children can realize the existence of habits and like this feeling, just like human muscle memory.
Be sure to remember that it is also important for children to develop a sense of rules, and the way and attitude of parents is also important.
2. The two core skills of rule making
I know that many parents have a groove in the fact that the schedule has a lot of plans, but it is difficult to implement.
It's because the following two points are not enough:
1. The plan should be formulated in line with the age characteristics of the child:
Many parents make rules that children do not necessarily understand, and sometimes it is difficult to understand. For example, if you have a 2-year-old read a book by himself every day, or a 4-year-old practicing words every day, think about how unreliable it is!
I've said before that 2-6 years old is the golden age for children to form good habits. Then we must know the characteristics of the child in this time period, so that we can give the plan in a targeted manner!
Before the age of 2, the child's comprehension ability and behavioral control are low, and all training is based on [smoked listening];
After the age of 2, the child enters the period of independent exploration, has his own sense of independence, and initially has the ability to judge, parents can try to make simple rules for their children, such as washing hands before meals, going home and taking off shoes, and other simple habits;
At the age of 3, the language ability is further enhanced, and it is possible to start reading independently and cultivate reading habits and interests;
At the age of 4, the ability to think independently gradually forms, and can begin to cultivate their own things to do themselves;
5-6 years old, children begin to control their emotions, including not throwing tantrums, less willfulness, language skills improve, can cultivate children's interest in fine hand movements (practicing words, drawing, instruments), as well as expression skills, telling stories to parents;
It can be said that before the age of 6, children are highly identified with their parents, after the age of 6, many of the child's habits have been formed, and it is extremely difficult to correct the previous bad behavior at this time.
Therefore, at the age that is suitable for the child, do what is suitable for the child, and do not do the things that promote the growth of seedlings!
2, the law of emotions: encounter difficulties, first deal with emotions, and then deal with things!
We often say, "Long live understanding", but not everyone can do it! For example, when you say "don't throw toys", but children can't always do it, there is a high probability that parents will be mad: "How many times have you said it, can you do it?" ”
In a variety show, Huo Siyan also encountered this problem. The child accidentally stepped on a sharp object, suddenly had an emotional breakdown, was particularly angry, and then rudely threw the toy five feet away.
If it is an ordinary parent, it may be angry in an instant, do not ask questions, and immediately order the child to pick up the toys. But Huo Siyan's approach is a textbook of [the law of emotion]! ，
She first soothes the child who cries in pain, and then the child picks up the toy.
"Throwing it away if you are not careful may be stepped on again, your mother will step on it, and others will step on it." If you don't put it away, your mother will feel the same pain as you, remember? ”
In fact, in order to let children develop habits, many parents take a simple and rude way: "Don't shout" and "Don't knock on the table"!
You think you make rules that your child must follow, and there's nothing to say. In fact, this trick is only suitable for children who are particularly small, and the larger the child, the more ineffective it is!
Because, the child is an independent individual, every child's heart longs to be respected, and he will have a desire to be good!
3, the formation of habits, the need for children and parents to work together
If you don't understand why habits and rules require parents and children to work together, you can look at this photo below:
Dad stood inside the safety line and waited for the subway in a disciplined manner. The daughter followed the way her father did, and followed the line seriously.
When you ask your child to talk about civilization, first of all, don't be rude yourself;
When you ask your child to go to bed early and get up early, first of all, don't stay up late;
When you ask your child to study seriously, first of all, don't go home and brush your mobile phone...
The American writer James Baldwin once said: "Children will never obediently listen to adults, but they will imitate adults." ”
This also answers the ultimate puzzle of many of our parents: "Why do you say so much, and the child just doesn't listen?"
Because the essence of education is not indoctrination, but influence.
Many times, it is not to see what you say, but to see what you have done, and your attitude towards life will also become the strength of the child's future confrontation when he falls into the deep valley.
Therefore, if you want your children to develop good habits, you not only need the words of your parents, but also the teaching of your parents
－－－－－－－－－－－－
Written at the end, the famous former educationalist Ushinsky has a very interesting analogy, he said:
Good habits, like you keep saving in the bank, you can't enjoy the interest it brings you for a lifetime.
Bad habits, like constantly borrowing from banks, spend their whole lives paying off endless debts.
If the child is to be able to develop good habits and become a self-disciplined person, the parental pattern is very important.
Don't try to use force, or material rewards, to easily let the child change! It is hoped that parents can accompany their children to self-discipline before requiring their children to self-discipline. In this way, children will not be lonely on the road to growth, will know how to persist, and will become more and more excellent!