Wen | Cheats Jun
You two have been married for a few years, and how are you getting along now?
I don't know if you have noticed that after having children, the way couples get along has changed. Rao is how romantic and elegant the two were before, and the child will always let you return to reality from the wind and snow for a second.
If you are a couple who have been together for five years or seven years or more, and have reached the age of 30 and are more pragmatic, you will feel more and more: you say that husband and wife, in fact, it is not like a husband and wife, but more like a relationship between family, brothers, and girlfriends.
What will be the current situation of middle-aged couples? Friends who are familiar with talk shows may have heard the classic summary of the former talk show queen SiWen. When she described her and her husband Cheng Lu's living conditions, she said this sentence: If I replace the double bed with a bunk bed, then he is my brother who sleeps on the top bunk.
◆ Middle-aged couple marriage record: You and I have no luck, all rely on the entanglement of the baby
A friend described her life to me this way for the next ten years of marriage:
After work, she went home to pick up the baby, and then the children played in the living room, and she went to the kitchen to cook. After the meal was cooked, the two ate together at the table, laughing while eating.
At nine o'clock, the husband returned, and by this time the child was already going to wash and go to sleep. The husband who has eaten outside is brushing his mobile phone on the living room sofa, and the friend here is reading and turning off the lights to sleep with the baby before going to bed.
In the middle of the night she got up to go to the toilet, the next room was still light, don't ask, it was her husband staying up late at night playing with his mobile phone. She shouted "Time to sleep!" There replied vaguely, "In a little while."
That's how their day intersects.
In fact, marriage to this part, it seems that there is no emotion. But because there are children, the home has to be complete. After all, if you talk about children, they can still say a few words.
This is the current state of marriage in many families. The couple was smoothed out by the chai rice oil and salt in life, and also erased their feelings. If you say that you want to leave, the other party has not made any big mistakes, and it is not the same as anyone. Besides, aren't there still children?
◆ The two sides become teammates of each other: no one avoids anyone
Of course, there are also people who live a married life with sound and color. However, in such a sound and colorful married life, both husband and wife have long faded the reservedness and shyness of love, and transformed into a "teammate" general existence.
Specific manifestations are: undressing does not avoid people, do not close the door to the toilet.
A colleague always complained about his daughter-in-law, saying that when she was in love, she was still a gentle little girl, and after a few years of marriage, she did not know how to become a "female man".
Usually at home, she was going to the toilet, she pushed the door and went in, either to go in and put on a pair of dripping socks, or to pull some toilet paper. She yelled for her to close the door, and before leaving, she had to deliberately look at her with malicious eyes, and shouted in her mouth, "I'm afraid of something, I haven't seen where you are." I don't know how she got to be like this!
Really, maybe it is that the two sides are already old husbands and wives, and they no longer deliberately maintain that little sense of mystery, and many middle-aged couples completely release themselves in front of each other. When changing clothes, you don't avoid each other as you used to, but change in front of the other side. The door to the last toilet didn't close either, and it came out in a moment anyway. Even those who did not dare to fart in front of each other before are now not only unscrupulously released, but also will specially run to the other party and release again.
What kind of psychology do you say this is?
◆ Only when the child is not there can be a romantic moment
Of course, not all middle-aged couples can be smoothed out by years. There are also those who try to go to great lengths and want to relive the romance and feel the enthusiasm of life. The children were sent to their grandparents' house during the winter and summer vacations, and the couple had the space and opportunity to be alone.
At this time, the two of them ate a Western meal together, watched a movie, and then got together at home to watch American dramas and play games, and their feelings also warmed up. But as soon as the child returned from vacation, the wife began to be busy dealing with the divine beast again, and the two began to live a life of chicken flying and dog jumping every day.
If things want to be long-lasting, they must first return to stability and blandness, and the same is true of marriage in general.
【Topic Discussion: How long have you been married, and how are your feelings now?】 】
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
Welcome to pay attention to [Parenting Cheats], you want to know about parenting nursing, growth and development, family education, mental health, you can find the answer here!