01
Sophie Marceau once said:
"The saddest thing about a woman is not getting old, but losing herself in marriage and in a dull life. Women can age, but they must be graceful to death, and marriage cannot be allowed to wear women out of luster. ”
If a marriage makes you miserable and makes you suffer every day, then I want to tell you, please don't hesitate and leave quickly. Is divorce a miserable thing? For Mo Huilan, who had just divorced, it was the opposite, Huilan said: "After getting divorced, I felt more relaxed than ever. ”
Whelan and her ex-husband Dukai had just ended the cooling-off period in September, and when the staff of the Civil Affairs Bureau asked her if she wanted to consider it, Whelan said no, I had already thought it through very clearly, and decided where the woman who wanted to divorce needed what cooling-off period. Since a woman has made up her mind to divorce, it means that she has made all the preparations and thought clearly enough.
In terms of custody of children, when divorced, Du Kai insisted on having children, and Whelan did not want to tear him up too much, so she gave up the custody of the children, as long as the ex-husband could be good to the children, she had no relationship. But honestly, what woman wants to give up her child? Most of them are forced by the men in the marriage to be helpless.
Whelan gave up the child, she also earned 3,000 yuan a month, but the ex-husband asked her for 1,000 yuan of child support, Whelan also gave, this money is given to the child, only hope to really spend it.
The girlfriend heard that she even agreed to such harsh divorce conditions, and said that she was crazy: "What do you say you want?" You were desperate to give birth to your son, but now it's good, you give it to a man, and the funny thing is that you have to give your child 1,000 yuan a month in child support. You have already given him the child you gave up, and he still wants child support from you, where is such a brazen person under the heavens? What exactly does marriage give you? People got married once and got a son, but you, who have been married for five years, have worked hard and complained, and now you have nothing. Why don't you want custody of your children, why did you divorce so easily? ”
In the face of her girlfriend's questioning, Whelan was speechless, can she not lose?
In the five years of marriage, she can be said to have nothing, even the dearest son has been lost.
02
But why insist on divorce? Why don't you put up with it in your marriage?
Hui Lan said, because I really can't stand it, if I continue to endure, I can't continue to survive, marriage is too difficult.
Whelan divorced Du Kai, mainly because of her mother-in-law. After marriage, she lived under the same roof with her mother-in-law, her mother-in-law was more powerful and eventful, and always liked to mix their little couple's affairs, as long as Whelan and Du Kai quarreled, the mother-in-law would indiscriminately divorce Du Kai and Huilan. Whelan told Du Kai that her mother-in-law was not, and Du Kai also spoke to his mother: "I know that my mother is strong, and your temper is broken, so I will let my mother bully you." You have the ability to really divorce me, I see whether you take advantage or I take advantage. Know why I don't feel sorry for you? Because I know that you have nowhere to go when you are divorced, your mother's family does not want you, and I see what you do without a house? Besides, are you willing to give up your son? So, my mother and I will bully you if you dare not divorce and see what you can do. ”
Is this what people say? Whelan wanted to cry without tears, and her heart was already cold.
In the past few years since marriage, all of Du Kai's salary has been handed over to her mother-in-law, and as long as Whelan talks to her about money, she will definitely attract Du Kai and her mother-in-law to say evil things about her, especially her mother-in-law, saying that she is worried about money all day long. Whelan wondered, "We are married, and the money Du Kai earns is the joint property of the husband and wife, why can't I take care of it?" But the mother-in-law said, this is my son's money, it is mine, what does it have to do with you as a foreign woman. From beginning to end, the mother-in-law did not regard her as her own person, and guarded her everywhere. The husband wants to say that she is okay, but the problem is that Du Kai completely listens to fucking after getting married.
The mother-in-law takes the money but does not pay, and their family's usual expenses are from Whelan's salary of three thousand yuan, and Whelan not only manages the family's expenses, but also has to manage the children's expenses. Five years of marriage, not to mention DuKai's salary, she herself did not save any money.
When the staff of the Civil Affairs Bureau asked her if she had any joint marital property, Whelan directly burst into tears: "What can be the joint property of the husband and wife?" After so many years of marriage, I haven't seen a penny of his money. ”
Grievances, it is too wronged, what does marriage give to women?
Wanting to have a child, Du Kai was not ready to pay for it, and in the end it was Whelan's own money that was spent. The mother-in-law and Du Kai have nothing to rely on Whelan's mother's family, so they bully her unscrupulously. Whelan is not favored in her mother's family, and when she got married, her mother directly poured a basin of water on the back of the wedding car, which means "the daughter who marries out, the water that is spilled out." Whelan did not return to her mother's house much after marriage, because she knew that even if she went back, her mother would ask her for money, so she could hide.
Although the mother-in-law took Du Kai's money in part because she was afraid that Whelan would help her mother's family, it was also a bit deceitful. But people bully you, obviously you are a more trustworthy person in your intimate relationship, but they bully you hard, how can you be good.
Whelan is not the kind of woman with a tough temperament, she is gentle and habitual, so she has not been less difficult to be harassed by a strong mother-in-law for a long time.
03
The mother-in-law has been pestering her to divorce Du Kai, and the contradiction has accumulated to a certain stage, and Whelan can't stand it, so she divorced. I thought it would be very painful after the divorce, but after she left that bad home, she felt more relaxed than ever, and her heart was very happy, and no one could interfere with her anymore.
Whelan rented a small house for herself for 800 yuan, gave her son a thousand yuan a month in child support, and then lost much money. Whelan can only let herself work a few more jobs, and only by working harder can she live a good life.
"Before the divorce, I was reprimanded by my mother-in-law and my husband, but after the divorce, I no longer had the anxiety of calling and arguing", Hui Lan said that she thought that in a bad marriage, she could only endure, but later found that you only had a way out if you stopped the loss in time. Her husband Dukai can't change, and her mother-in-law is like that, so she can only change herself, and she must first let herself get out of the muddy marriage.
Some people also advised her not to divorce for the sake of the children, but Whelan thought that my marriage is good for the children? I myself have a very painful life, I quarrel with my mother-in-law and husband all day long, my mood is very bad, how good can the child's living situation be? I can only let myself out first, when I am well, I am strong, maybe I can be better for the child.
After the divorce, Whelan has not regretted it so far, and she has lived a fuller and more relaxed life than before.
After experiencing this experience, Hui Lan said: "Women still have to be cautious about marriage, don't marry for the sake of getting married, you have to find a man with good character." Men with good character can read your good, even if they don't love you, they may not be too bad for you, like me, who can blame, can only blame myself, I was too hasty to get married. It is necessary to be cautious about marriage and childbearing, and to stop the loss in time when the marriage should stop the loss in time. Divorce may not be the way out, but it can get you out of a bad environment. Divorce may be painful, but I prefer this unprecedented ease to the bad life in marriage. ”
Whelan's story is true, and I hope that she can live the next life and live well for herself, only if she strengthens herself, she will have more say in the affairs of her children in the future.
Today's topic: Are you doing well after your divorce? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.