This morning, Ma Yili was on the hot search for the interview content of the show "Woman 30".
In the show, she frankly and unfairly answered several questions that the outside world cared about her most, such as her state after divorce, her views on women's fertility, and her own view of love.
Regarding her post-divorce status, she said that last year was her lowest status, lying in bed every day and unable to sleep or get up, unable to do anything.
She will collapse and cry in front of her children, and she will also find friends and relatives to talk about the troubles in life, confess her vulnerability and sadness, and rely on everyone to warm up.
You know, Ma Yili has always been known as "Ma Ling" by the industry, with a tough and courageous personality, will not ask for help, and will not show weakness.
But after the divorce, her whole state changed, and she changed from a hard and tenacious "Ma Ling" to a soft and relaxed Ma Yili.
People around her are happy about her change. Because of the soft ma Yili, it has become more real and cute.
In this regard, Ma Yili also sighed: "A little grateful for the stage of last year's inadequacy, there is no need for people to be so strong all the time." ”
There is a sentence in "In the Distance" starring Ma Yili last year, which is particularly appropriate to describe her current state:
"A woman learns to show weakness, not because she is really weak. It was because she let go of herself and the people around her. “
No longer comparing who is right and who is wrong, no longer clinging to right and wrong, it is nothing more than because you are transparent, accepted, and let go.
When it comes to fertility, although Ma Yili is a mother, she does not believe that the value of a woman is to be a mother.
"The egg's mission is not to become a fertilized egg, but to be itself," she said. ”
If women don't want to get married, or aren't ready to get married, then don't force yourself, don't give your body or your eggs a lofty mission.
One must first become oneself and then talk about a second identity.
In this view, the feedback from netizens is the strongest.
Most people agree that regardless of age and background, everyone has the right to live for themselves and to live the life they like.
But some netizens believe that Ma Yili said beautiful things, and in reality, few people are not crushed by forced marriage and children.
In fact, I understand the pessimism of the latter.
From all aspects, the current society's tolerance for women is far from enough, especially in the point of childbirth, women are completely coerced forward, by themselves.
But we also have to have faith.
The previous generation of trial marriage men and women has successfully turned divorce into an ordinary and normal thing, and our generation must strive to make non-marriage a free thing.
In fact, in Ma Yili's entire interview, what touched me the most and impressed me the most was her view of the concept of love.
The host asked her, "Do you still believe in love?" ”
Surprised, she asked, "Why don't I believe it?" People always have the right to believe in love and pursue love. ”
She also said: "I hate netizens most when they see who break up and divorce and don't believe in love, and when they see who is married, they believe in love again."
How can you live so blindly, and do you need others to support you with your love? ”
This has also been my question, why do netizens always like to project their love into the emotions of others? Why do outsiders judge the quality of love by the results of feelings?
Later, I wanted to understand that the biggest reason was that netizens equated sincere love with lifelong love.
What does that mean? It is the feelings that blossom and bear fruit, which is true love, and what is scattered in the middle of the song is a failed love.
Because they fall into the trap of thinking, they can't see the truth of love—love is not consequentialism, but process theory.
For example, stand-up comedians Cheng Lu and Si Wen.
On July 23, the two announced their divorce on social media.
Cheng Lu said: "The two of us have always been close friends and business partners, and we will continue to support each other in the future. ”
Si Wen responded: "It's a true brother, come on." ”
Last night, the two also accepted an interview together, saying that there have not been many changes in getting along after the divorce, and they will still habitually send them to each other when they see funny passages.
The definition of two people is no longer "husband and wife", but the care and friendship for each other has not diminished.
They have really paid, and if they can start again, they will still choose to meet. They still believe in love, bless each other and meet people who make them happy.
Another example is Faye Wong and Li Yapeng.
They married in 2005, a marriage that lasted eight years, and on the evening of September 13, 2013, Faye Wong announced her divorce on social media.
When the divorce was first discussed, Li Yapeng strongly advised Faye Wong to change if he did not do well for more than half a year.
But Faye Wong was not moved, and the retention was unsuccessful.
After the divorce, many people were not worth it for Li Yapeng, and they really paid people wrongly, and this marriage was really bad.
At that time, the divorce of the two was also speculated by the public, saying that it was a third party interfering, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were incompatible, and the property dispute... Messages are boiling over.
Faye Wong directly debunked the rumors:
The relationship between the two was also very harmonious after they separated, and the two of them never said bad things about each other in front of people.
They will celebrate Li Yan's birthday together:
Faye Wong also had dinner with her ex-mother-in-law:
Dou Jingtong and Li Yan's relationship is also very good:
Through all of the above, we can see how high the quality of their feelings is when they are husband and wife.
Even if the two didn't end up growing old, can you say that their marriage was wrong? Can you conclude that they didn't grow out of marriage?
The end of a relationship is not the failure of love, but the completion of this journey and the beginning of a new life for each other.
A marriage can legitimately last only a fairly limited amount of time, as long as it is sincere, important, and meaningful.
We don't need to say that we don't believe in love, and it is the greatest disrespect for love that we will tear each other apart when we don't love.