Author: Jiao Xiaohui Su Jinser Editor: Fu Yang
Source: Journal of Marriage and Family
ID：hunyinyujiating99
Remember Anwen?
She played Qingwen in the 1987 version of "Dream of the Red Chamber" and was familiar and loved by audiences across the country.
This woman, who combines beauty and talent and was once happily married, was imprisoned for her husband Su Yue's failure to break the law, and the second half of her life fell into a long nightmare of life.
8 years to repay 11 million debts for her husband, waiting for even greater bad news...
01
From "Qingwen" to the princess who fell into distress, she said "I did not escape"
Some people have acted in many TV dramas, but people can't remember a role; some people have been remembered for 30 years because of a role, such as Anwen.
In the play, Qingwen is untamed and makes the audience remember it vividly; outside the play, Anwen is more than her, in her own words: I have never been wronged and asked for perfection.
Just when she was red, she met her lover Su Yue, and simply gave up her career to study in Japan with him;
The two people are very much in love, from love to marriage, Su Yue is extremely fond of Anwen, even underwear has helped her wash for 23 years.
She can do whatever she wants, she can't do it if she wants to, and she lives like a princess who is loved by thousands of people.
As the saying goes: don't be too full, leave three points for everything. An Wen's burning life came to an abrupt end because of Su Yue's sudden imprisonment.
In 2011, Su Yue was held criminally responsible for forging contracts to defraud shareholders of investing 57 million yuan, and was sentenced to life imprisonment in the first instance.
Overnight, Anwen's entire world collapsed. Take sleeping pills every day to sleep for 10 minutes.
Later, in an interview, An Wen said to Lu Yu: "In the end, you must suffer this disaster to let you know that life is really not what you want and do whatever you want." ”
After the wedding in Japan, the two did not know to register at the embassy, and from a legal point of view, they were not married, and she did not have to pay his debts.
But she thought that if she could pay off the debt sooner, maybe he would have come out sooner.
From then on, she had to get out of the castle, take off her crystal shoes, and walk barefoot on the glassy road; she had to learn everything to face alone.
Her eyes were full of tears, but she didn't have time to grieve, and began to sell houses, jewelry, clothes, auction book manuscripts, and take on commercial performances.
In the days of waiting for her husband to be released from prison, An Wen tried every means to repay 11 million.
An Wen, who has never been wronged by herself, ran to the nightclub to sing, and she also comforted herself: it's okay, it's sad for 5 minutes, say thank you to everyone, you can take the money and leave.
She had nothing and until now had to rent a friend's house.
In the end, because of her efforts, after a second appeal, the second trial sentenced Su Yue to be reduced to 15 years.
Those days were really hard, but Anwen felt very proud: "I feel very valuable." At least people have seen in me what we should do when a woman faces disaster. Anyway, I haven't escaped, I haven't dodged for a day. I think I'm amazing. ”
However, fate did not let go of the test for her.
Su Yue was imprisoned for the ninth year, suffering from terminal cancer, and died soon after.
So much suffering, in exchange for spending the last 26 days of his life with his husband.
She loved him, so she didn't regret it; but she hated him again, why didn't she persist until she got out of prison and the two were reunited!
02
There are 60,000 wives in China, and they have not fled
Anwen's marriage and life make the viewer sigh.
But she is not alone. In life, there are a group of wives like An Wen who are imprisoned for their husbands' crimes and live a life worse than death.
In Baidu Tieba, there is a "jail bar" that gathers more than 60,000 wives of detainees and posts more than 2 million. In this post bar, behind each post, there is a family that has suffered a lot.
Murder pays for life, debts are repaid, and as long as the crime is committed, it should be punished by the law. But as wives, do they want to forgive their sinful husbands, and how can they continue the difficult life in front of them?
The day after Xiaowei's new marriage, her husband was arrested by the police. Because he was tricked, he subleased his bank card to others to make a little money, but he did not expect that the other party used his bank card to engage in illegal activities.
According to the relevant provisions of the Criminal Law, the Banking Law and the Anti-Money Laundering Law, even if the cardholder is unaware of the illegal and criminal activities of the cardholder, the cardholder is also required to bear joint and several criminal liability.
There are still detritus of color cannons and balloons in the open space in front of the house, and the new house is empty.
Her mother once told Xiaowei that getting married was the beginning of another life. But she never thought that married life would directly turn into a nightmare, "I should be the unluckiest bride in the world."
There is also Shan Xia, only 3 days before the due date, but her husband was taken away by the police. He was guilty of dereliction of duty for illegally issuing logging permits.
She simply could not wait for the birth of her baby like other pregnant women, nor did she have the happiness of becoming a mother. She went around helping her husband find a lawyer with her big belly, while she was alone to bear the anxiety of pre-delivery and the finger-pointing behind relatives.
She had thought that the most difficult pain in her life was to give birth to a child, until that moment she knew that the pain and suffering in her heart was much more violent than the physical pain.
Da Ying's husband was sentenced to 8 years in prison for bribing too much to start a business. When her husband had just been imprisoned, Daying often squeezed his arm. It wasn't until her arm was pinched and bleeding, and she was convinced that something was really wrong with her husband.
There were still two children in the family, and she had to get up and go to work and face everything. She told reporters: "Once, my son came home crying so sadly. He said his classmates called him the son of a labor prisoner and no one spoke to him. I held my son and cried all the time, somehow comforting him..."
If the husband is a jerk who robs, rapes, sells drugs, and kills people, they have no psychological burden of choosing divorce.
However, the partner is not completely dehumanizing, nor is he committing a felony, and the sentence is generally less than 10 years.
They also regret that they have been overwhelmed by a moment of greed and desire. I hope to be a person again, and I hope that my family will not give up.
On the other hand, thinking of marital affection and children, wives are reluctant and unwilling to divorce; however, they are not at all discriminated against and pressured in society than the wives of the prisoners. They and their children will be labeled "family members of labor prisoners."
"No one pays attention, no one understands, and even some people think that their husbands are in prison and insist on not divorcing, how miserable we live is self-inflicted, deserved, and despicable." But if we really leave, someone will come and say that we can only share happiness and not suffering, and we don't think about the love of husband and wife at all, and our hearts are too fierce. In short, how to choose is wrong. ”
It was Yo-Yo who said this because 6 imitation guns purchased while traveling in Hong Kong were identified as guns, and her husband Chao Ming was sentenced to 7 years in prison.
03
They were cornered, but they still huddled together for warmth
"When we came here, we felt sorry for each other and hugged each other for warmth. I feel at ease and warmth, and it also makes me calm down and constantly remind myself that for myself and my children, I can't fall down..."
The wife who wrote this passage in "Go to Jail" is tian mei, a Cantonese. In January 2015, her husband was arrested by the police for violating the law.
Tian Mei and Lin Zhong are a pair of resentful couples, and marriage has nothing to do with love. At that time, she married Lin Zhong, who was 15 years older than herself, because she saw that he was a contractor, rich, and would be good to herself. Unexpectedly, after marriage, Lin Zhong not only did not earn money, but also often borrowed money. The couple often quarreled as a result.
Because of the heavy debt, knowing that the project collusion is illegal, the forest is desperate to take risks with a fluke mentality. In March 2015, when he was still in detention center, three creditors came to collect debts and asked Tian Mei to return her husband's 600,000 yuan loan.
She had no money, so she had to borrow it from relatives. Who knows, the other party not only did not borrow, but regarded her as a joke, and people laughed at her before and after. Subjected to such discrimination and insults, Tian Mei, who has always been arrogant and arrogant, could not chase after the detention center, first killed her husband, and then committed suicide!
For a while, she seemed to be stuck in a quagmire, depressed to the point of breathlessness. Once, just because of a small thing, she yelled at her son as if she were crazy.
The delicate and sensitive son knelt in front of her and cried: "Why did you give birth to me?" I didn't ask you to give birth to me, and I didn't want to know you..." Tian Mei was stunned, and then hugged her son and cried.
After coming to the "prison bar", she confided her pain with the sisters in the post bar, and everyone left a message with the post to cheer her up. Sentence after sentence of warm words is like a shot in the arm for Tian Mei.
Tian Mei, who was already on the verge of collapse at the time, gradually calmed down and said to the sisters of Tieba: "Thanks to you, otherwise I would almost kill myself." ”
She no longer resented herself and hated society, but entrusted her son to the care of her parents, and rented more than 20 acres of orchards on the outskirts of the city for a period of 5 years. If the harvest is good, you can earn 150,000 yuan a year, and you can pay off your husband's debts in 5 years.
"I let him be miserable, but he can't be a turtle with a shrunken head, and people have to live like a person." Otherwise, my son and I would not be able to lift our heads for the rest of our lives. ”
The strength and responsibility of the sisters in Tieba deeply infected Yo-Yo. Majoring in fine arts, she decided to teach her children to draw and set up classrooms at home so that she could take care of her young son and earn living expenses.
She seriously taught the children to draw, and gradually got the approval of the parents, and the number of students increased. This heartfelt happiness and self-confidence feel much better than buying designer bags, and she gradually likes the profession of teacher.
On March 8, 2016, Yo-Yo went to Shaoguan Prison in Guangdong Province to visit him. She got up early and put on her delicate makeup and wore the most beautiful dress. When she saw her husband, she always smiled, and her eyes shone with happiness. Asahi said, "I'm so happy that you've changed." You take good care of yourself and your children, which is to give me the greatest relief and encouragement, and I can transform here with peace of mind. ”
The changes in life have forced these women into a desperate situation, but they encourage each other, hug each other to warm up, but instead stimulate the potential and strength in their own bodies, and find their self-worth again.
Yo-Yo said: "In 'Go to Jail', there are many strong and independent women. In fact, we are not as weak as we think, and we are all actively getting through the difficulties in our own way. ”
04
After returning, can we still be husband and wife?
The leisurely independence also made her husband Chao Ming cheer up. During his imprisonment, he took the initiative to organize cultural activities and used his strengths to organize art interest classes. For his outstanding performance in prison, his sentence was commuted by two and a half years. Yo-Yo breaks her fingers every day to calculate the day her husband is released from prison.
On October 12, 2019, Chao Ming was released early. Yu Yu waited early outside the prison gate. The moment she saw her husband, she couldn't control herself anymore and threw herself into his arms, afraid of losing him again. Chao Ming also hugged his wife tightly with tears in his eyes, and did not want to let go for a long time...
Like Youyou, Xiaowei and Shanxia shared their excitement and happiness with their sisters in the Tieba and WeChat groups for the first time after their husbands returned.
However, there are also some sisters who make different choices when their husbands are about to return. Tian Mei is preparing a divorce agreement to prepare for divorce. She felt that unhappy marriages were mutually consuming and torturing. Choosing not to divorce was more out of responsibility. Since the husband is about to get out of prison, it is better to start a new life.
Faced with the return of her husband, the most troubled wife may be Celine. Lin Jun is her first love, and Xi Lin's parents hated Lin Jun and forced the two to break up. Under the arrangement of her parents, Celine married a man from a wealthy family, but the marriage was not happy, and her daughter divorced when she was two years old.
After knowing that Xi Lin was divorced, Lin Jun took the initiative to find her and reconcile. In May 2016, two lovers registered for marriage. Not long after the marriage, Lin Jun helped fight a group fight out of the brother's righteousness, committed the crime of intentional injury, and was sentenced to 4 years in prison.
Lin Jun did not want to delay his wife and offered to divorce. Celine only has one visit per month and cannot meet for more than 30 minutes. During these 30 minutes, Lin Jun has also been silent.
Celine began to write letters, four or five letters a month encouraging her husband. Even if Lin Jun did not hear back, she never gave up. Her persistence and acceptance finally made Lin Jun rekindle hope for their future.
But as her husband's return date approached, Celine became more and more panicked. Because after Lin Jun was imprisoned, her parents have been persuading her to divorce, saying that Lin Jun was imprisoned for fighting and fighting, and it was not good to cause domestic violence.
At first, Celine defended him vigorously: "He fought for his friends because of his buddies' righteousness!" He loves me so much that he can't beat me! But as time went on, she began to be afraid. Thinking about it, she decided to spend some time together and try it, but she couldn't leave again.
On July 5, 2020, Lin Jun was released after completing his sentence. After living together for a few months, Celine found her worries superfluous. Lin Jun not only did not have domestic violence, but also loved her and her daughter.
After his release from prison, he opened a car wash and worked hard every day. In order to avoid impulsive mistakes again, he even quit drinking, which made Celine feel very safe. What surprised and touched her the most was that Lin Jun actually secretly ran to the hospital to get a ligature. He told his wife with his actions that her daughter was his daughter.
Youyou told reporters with deep feeling: "Whether you can continue to live with your husband who has been in prison depends on the character of this man." Men with good character will have a greater sense of family responsibility and cherish what they have through transformation. ”
After Su Yue's death, An Wen gathered up the spirit to arrange the aftermath for him, wearing his favorite bracelet on his wrist and never leaving his body.
She said that fate taught her one thing:
"No one can save you, no one can destroy you, only you can save yourself, only you can crush yourself, so we should never give up on ourselves." 」
After reading their stories, I believe that everyone will be touched by the kindness and tenacity of these women;
In the same way, it also reminds us once again that we must respect the law, do not harm others and harm ourselves, and ruin the original happy and warm home.
Being an upright person and doing things in a down-to-earth manner is the greatest love and responsibility for your family.
(Except for An Wen, Su Yue, and Wang Fulin, the characters in the text are pseudonyms)