Your desires are the source of your children's anti-purpose!
Some time ago, I brushed such a comment on the Internet: My family's second treasure is good, well-behaved, and cute, but every time my family treasure talks to him, he can be angry, and he has to say it several times before changing, which is really angry with me!
But the deep reason behind this is that their lives are disrupted, they want their children to be controlled, and they hope that their children can become the so-called successful people they want.
And the protagonist of our story today, Wu Jiang, also killed his beloved young son because of this desire, causing his eldest son to force his brother to die by himself, becoming an immoral monarch and being criticized by people in mainstream society.
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At the beginning of the story, Wu Jiang married Zheng Wugong and gave birth to two sons, the eldest son was called YuSheng, the second son was named Duan, and the posterity also called him Gongshu Duan.
Because when he gave birth to his eldest son, he had difficulty giving birth, so he was extremely disgusted with the eldest son, so Wu Jiang gave all his love to the younger son. It was from this time that the two brothers planted the seeds of anti-purpose.
If Wu Jiang just doted on his younger son, it was actually not a big deal, after all, as a prince, he was a little more delicate and arrogant, and no one would dare to treat him like this.
However, Wu Jiang wanted to impose his desire on his younger son, and at a young age, he had undeserved desires.
Professor Zeng Shiqiang said in the Tao Te Ching: Now people are very poor, a child has no greed at all, but adults teach him to be greedy, his toys are better than you, go and ask him; you see I have a new toy, do you want it or not. All the children's greed is led out by the adults, causing him to suffer for a lifetime.
Gongshu Duan was like this, and he was killed for a lifetime by the prince dream imposed on him by his mother Wu Jiang.
Poetry Jing Zheng Feng, Uncle Yu Tian
Uncle Yu Tian, the alley has no one to live in. Is there no dwelling? Not as good as uncle also. Beautiful and benevolent.
Uncle Yu hunting, no drinking in the alley. Don't you drink alcohol? Not as good as uncle also. Beautiful and good.
Shu Shiye, the alley has no clothes horse. Isn't there a horse? Not as good as uncle also. Beautiful and martial.
Meaning: Uncle went hunting out of the door, the alley is like no one. Is there really no one living there? No one can be as handsome and kind as an uncle.
My uncle went out hunting, and no one was drinking in the alley. Is no one really drinking? No one is as handsome and beautiful as an uncle.
My uncle rode his horse to the wilderness, and no one in the alley could ride a horse. Is it true that no one can ride a horse? No one can compare with him, indeed handsome and powerful.
The uncle in this poem is Gongshu Duan, if there is no desire imposed by the mother, Gongshu Duan should have been a charming teenager that everyone envied, and a dream lover that the noble women of Zheng Guo wanted.
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The Tao Te Ching has clouds: the world knows that beauty is beauty, and evil is already evil. Everyone knows that what is good is good, and what is not good is good.
When you have a criterion for judging the beauty and ugliness of a thing, you have a solidified standard in your mind, and you are not able to accept things and people outside of this standard.
Similarly, when you have a discriminating mind for your child, you will judge your child's behavior by right and wrong, rather than patiently understanding the reasons behind your child's behavior, and are only willing to simply judge your child as "disobedient and obedient."
I don't know that this is basically my own desire
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When you have the heart to compare two children, you will unconsciously set a standard between two children.
On the one hand, the child will think that as long as I do this, I will please my parents, then he will gradually set up a set in front of his parents and a set in others. This is why many parents feel that their children are obviously very well-behaved, why they will run into such a big disaster.
On the other hand, children will give up on themselves, because no matter how they do, their parents feel that they are wrong, then I simply do nothing, and from then on, it makes parents feel even more annoying.
The Tao Te Ching has clouds: not seeing what is desired, so that the people's hearts will not be chaotic.
Sometimes, if parents don't always express their likes and dislikes, then there can't be so many contradictions between children.
So let go of your discriminating hearts and desires, look at your children with your heart, don't look with your eyes, have a little more patience and confidence in your children, maybe you can feel differently.