Now many people like to go online to criticize and scold people, and the way of scolding people is different.
In fact, many people do this for their own feelings. For some, criticizing others can lead to a sense of self-satisfaction, and for some, that self-satisfaction comes from achieving something.
For others, although they themselves are not happy, if others are worse off, they can also bring them a sense of satisfaction that the so-called "little people" are often proud of the shortcomings and mistakes of others.
Yes, because it's all anonymous online, you don't have to be responsible for what you say or do. Some people in life like to accuse or criticize others, one of which is that he does not know enough about human nature, what is human nature? People like to be recognized. The premise of this criticism and accusation is that you think he is wrong, and when he is not recognized, he will have internal resistance, although he may also do something.
But such a conflict certainly doesn't make him very productive, and the operation team is actually the recognition of the operation, that is, when others agree with him, he will do it more actively.
There was a safety inspector in a construction company who checked whether the workers were wearing hard hats, and at the beginning he found that the workers were not wearing hard hats at work, so he used his authority to seriously criticize the workers and ask them to correct them. The worker, obviously very upset, waited for him to leave and took off his hat again. After that, he decided to change his approach, and when he saw that the workers were not wearing hard hats, he asked him if the hat was uncomfortable or if it was the wrong size. And a pleasant voice reminds workers of the importance of wearing hard hats.
They were then asked to wear it best when they were working, and the effect was better than before.
So sometimes, when people criticize and blame others, they are also making a splash for themselves, you see how good I am, you have to listen to me, but this result will only destroy the relationship.
But sometimes people do do the wrong thing, don't you say? It is not that it is not said, but that it cannot be blamed.
Human nature is like this, when he does something wrong, he will only complain about others, will not blame himself, we are the same, right?
Low frequencies are like pigeons in the house, which will always fly back eventually, so we have to recognize that the object of our accusation or correction will make excuses and even attack us in turn.
Lincoln, known as one of the greatest presidents in American history, loved to criticize and ridicule others from an early age, and once almost triggered a duel that taught Lincoln the art of how to get along with people, and from then on, he no longer wrote letters to scold people, and no longer arbitrarily mocked others, and from then on, he stopped blaming anyone for anything
During the Civil War, Mrs. Lincoln strenuously denounced the Southerners, and Lincoln said don't blame them, and we probably would do the same.
On July 1, 1863, the Battle of Gettysburg began.
On the night of the fourth of July, General Lee began to retreat south, when the rain poured down, and General Lee fled to the Potomac River with his defeated soldiers, only to see the river ahead of him surging and the government army taking advantage of the victory to pursue, General Lee was in a dilemma, Lincoln knew that this was a great opportunity from heaven, as long as he was defeated, the war would end immediately.
So he gave a hopeful order to General Mitty to attack General Lee immediately, but General Mitty did not act immediately, and he completely disobeyed Lincoln's order, hesitating and delaying time. Refusing to attack General Lee, the water eventually receded, General Lee fled, Lincoln was furious, and in extreme disappointment, Lincoln sat down to write a letter to Midi.
Dear General, I do not think that The escape of General Lee will bring us great misfortune, he is within our reach, and once he is captured, coupled with our recent victory, the war can be over. But now, the war is bound to continue, and you can't successfully capture General Lee on Monday, and now that he has fled south of the Potomac River, how can you guarantee success? It would be unwise to expect you to succeed, and I don't expect you to do better now, because the opportunity has passed and I feel very sorry.
Although this letter expresses our dissatisfaction and condemnation, the wording is still relatively conservative, so do you think your general will express anything after reading this letter?
Surprisingly, General Mitty had never read the letter, because Lincoln had not sent it away.
Later, others found this in a pile of documents. Why didn't Lincoln send the letter?
Maybe Lincoln looked out the window and thought to himself. Take your time, maybe I shouldn't be in such a hurry.
It's not hard to give orders in a quiet White House. If I had seen many people bleeding every day and heard the cries of many wounded soldiers in Gettysburg, like Mitty, I might not have rushed to attack the enemy.
If my character had shrunk like a grain of rice, perhaps I would have done the same, and anyway, the wood had become a boat, and sending this letter out would do little but make myself happy for a while, and Mitty would rebel, and even attack me, which would only make me unhappy, or that he would leave the army.
Because of Lincoln's painful experiences as a young man, he tells us that the results of sharp criticism and attack are equal to zero.