Maybe we were all deceived by Qian Zhongshu

Whether it is because of the various troubles in the marriage, it is in the midst of anxiety. I don't understand how to start mutual attraction and mutual affection. In the complicated life day after day, the passion of each other was worn away, and I gradually felt tired and slack. Often quarreling and blaming each other over the small things in life, I don't know how to go about the next marriage.

Then you may wish to calm down, brew yourself a cup of tea, sit down, and savor the book "Yang Dai, Calm and Calm is Elegant" written by Liu Ying with beautiful writing. In this book, the marriage of Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu is written. I hope that their happy and happy marriage experience will become a harmonious spring breeze, with warmth, so that you can rekindle your deep thinking about marriage. Take you out of the trough of confusion about marriage.

The preservatives of a good marriage must be those who know how to give in marriage.

First, a good marriage needs to be paid.

Yang Dai is also a big lady. She has never worked since she was a child, and she is not good at taking care of housework, but when she is willing to try and change for the sake of Qian Zhongshu. Qian Zhongshu said that he was tired of eating Western food and wanted to eat braised pork. Yang Dai went to learn to make braised pork. This is also a difficult thing for Yang Dai, who can hardly steal cooking. But Yang Dai, in order to be able to eat braised pork for Qian Zhongshu, after repeated attempts, finally made it. And learned many dishes. Always change the pattern to give money to Zhong Shu to eat.

After marriage, are you arguing about who cooks and who washes dishes today, and the feelings between husband and wife are consumed little by little after repeated quarrels. You don't know that marriage is woven together by these little things. May you have a smile in your eyes, love in your heart, and not be stingy to give, not afraid to give. Let each other's efforts become the preserve of your marriage.

In addition to giving, understanding and tolerance are also important for a good marriage.

Second, a good marriage needs understanding and tolerance.

When talking about love, Yang Dai only knows that Qian Zhongshu is a bit "clumsy" for life, but she did not expect to be so "clumsy". During the hospitalization of Yang Daisheng's daughter, Qian Zhongshu lived alone, and every time he visited the maternity hospital to report that "I have done something wrong", I overturned the ink bottle and dyed the tablecloth of the landlord's house. Yang Dai said, "It doesn't matter, I will wash." "That's ink!" "Ink can also be washed." He was relieved to go back. After a few days, I did something wrong again, broke the lamp, and asked what kind of lamp it was. Say "It doesn't matter, I'll fix it." Qian Zhongshu went back with confidence. Because he believed what she said "it doesn't matter". Yang Dai never disliked Qian Zhongshu, which was a clumsy thing that appeared again and again in life. And I never wanted to change him.

Do you let complaints pile up in your marriage. I think how that different person got married in the first place changed. You don't know that no one is born for you. Marriages can't all fit together. Run-in and concession, tolerance and understanding are inevitable.

One person's bloom may only be a lonely self-congratulation, and the bloom of two people can withstand the long stream of erosion of time. Hand in hand is only the beginning, side by side is the process. Marriages should support each other and move forward side by side.

Third, a good marriage needs to support each other and move forward side by side.

Qian Zhongshu came up with the idea of creating "Siege of the City". Yang Dai was already at the peak of his career at that time. But when she knew that Qian Zhongshu wanted to create, she chose to support it. She stopped her steps and waited for him to bloom. In order to make Qian Zhongshu feel at ease. Yang Dai personally took care of family chores and was willing to be a "maid under the stove". Two years later, Qian Zhongshu's "Siege of the City" stunned the time. Qian Zhongshu said that thanks to Yang Dai's encouragement and support, today's "Siege of the City" should be dedicated to Yang Dai.

Your marriage is not walking two people who are not on the same channel, like two people on the lone side of the world. Maybe one person is going too fast and one person can't keep up. Then one of you might as well slow down and wait for the people behind you. Because the most secure marriage is not a thousand turns, but a mutual affection, mutual support, and side by side.

In the book "Yang Chen, Calm and Calm is Elegance". The story of Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu explains the most ideal marriage in the world. "I never thought about getting married before I met her. I have been married to her for decades, I have never regretted marrying her, and I have never thought of marrying another woman. ”

Happy marriages are regular. That is, you can both know how to give, tolerate, protect each other, and move forward side by side. Spend your life guarding each other's sieges. Don't be deceived by Qian Zhongshu. In his writings, he wrote that marriage is a siege of the city, and people outside the city want to come in, and people in the city want to go out. But he never wanted to come out.