<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > read Zhang Ji: You see, you see, the face of the moon</h1>
Reading Zhang Ailing, there is a little impression: the people in her novels always like to look up at the moon, and what they see seems to be not the moon, but the world, the world.
In "Eighteen Springs", Shi Jun and Man Zhen attended the birthday party of their colleagues together, and went out to see: "Tonight there is a moon, slightly oblong, like a white lotus moon, and a circle of light and fog around it." When the two could no longer hide their love, they revealed their hearts to each other: "There is a big yellow moon, hanging low on the street, completely like a street lamp." Today the moon is particularly humane, as if it rises from the vast sea of people. ”
This is like the color of water and moon, isolating them from the chaotic reality and giving them precious silence and beauty.
The same moonlight once sprinkled on another young girl.
In "The First Incense", Ge Weilong successfully persuaded her aunt Mrs. Liang to let her tuition fees fall, and she went home along the mountain road, and the moonlight she saw made people feel happy:
"The sunset in the south is fast, and the dusk is only a moment. The sun has not yet gone down here, and over there, at the end of the mountain road, the smoke trees are confused, green and dissolved, and there is already a moon shadow. Wei Long walked east, and the more he walked, the whiter and brighter the moon became, as if it were a white phoenix with a fat chest, perched on the bend of the road, and made a nest in the branch of the tree. “
The simple girl thought that she had settled down from now on, and that her future was as bright as the moonlight in front of her.
Not long after, her aunt, Mrs. Liang, invited guests at the palace, which seemed to be a spring breeze, but it was full of dangers: "At that time, the sky was already dark, and the moon had just come up, yellow and yellow, like a little incense ash when embroidered on jade-colored satin, and a small piece of paste was burned." “
A paste on the beautiful jade forge, this dirty moon, is it Said to Be Mrs. Liang herself? When she was a girl, she was alone in public opinion, and resolutely married a rich man who was more than a year old and obedient, waiting for his death. He died in the end, but unfortunately he died a little later, she was old, never filled with the famine in her heart, she needed love, the love of many people--for this, she did not hesitate to take Ge Weilong, her own niece, this innocent girl.
When Ge Weilong finally couldn't resist the temptation, he lost the battle and had a private meeting with the famous prodigal son Georgie. "That night, sure enough, there was a moon. Georgie came and went in the moonlight. The moon was still in the middle of the day, he climbed from The balcony of Wei Long, climbed the branches of the tree, climbed to the opposite cliff, the jungle was not harvested, wet and hot, the insects chirped, plus the frog cabinet, the whole mountain was like a cauldron, the moon was a blue and yin fire, slowly boiling it, the water in the pot boiled, the bones and bones beeped. “
Eighty percent of this moon is enchanted and mad, otherwise how could it be as blue as a ghost fire?
Equally crazy and terrifying, there is also the moon in "The Golden Lock". When Qiqiao, and his son Changbai lay on the smoke floor and burned a big smoke, there was a cold moon hanging outside the window:
Looking out through the window glass, there was a moon in the dark clouds, one black and one white, like a dramatic and vicious face. A little, a little, the moon slowly came out of the clouds, and under the black clouds there was a glimmer of light, the eyes under the mask, and the sky was a bottomless dark cyan. “
The seven tricks under the moonlight also showed a vicious face. For decades, she carried the shackles of gold and could not breathe. The man in front of her - all these years, there was only this one man in her life, only him, she was not afraid that he thought about her money, horizontal and vertical were all his, but because he was her son, he was not half a man... Now, even this half of the man she could not keep—he had married a relative. She squinted her eyes, not letting the other party notice the "killing machine" in her eyes.
The first person to be killed by her was the poor daughter-in-law Zhishou, who hated her, and everything was difficult to do, so anxious that Zhishou was only waiting for death:
Zhi Shou suddenly sat up and opened the account, this is a crazy world, the husband is not like a husband, the mother-in-law is not like a mother-in-law. Either they were crazy, or she was crazy. Tonight's moon is better than any other day, a high full moon, cloudless, like a white sun in the dark sky. Blue shadows everywhere, blue shadows on the top of the tent, and one of her feet was also in the dead blue shadow. ”
Then there was her daughter Chang'an. The night before Chang'an was forced to drop out of school, he was endlessly sad: "In the pane, the moon came out of the clouds. The inky gray sky, a few points of sparse stars, the blurry moon, like a picture of a stone print, the white clouds below steaming, and the faint round light of the street lamp on the top of the tree. “
Under the moonlight, equally desperate, there was a newly married man. In "The Second Incense", because of the ignorance of the relationship between the sexes in the society of the body and other society, his husband Roger becomes an alternative and monster that everyone despises.
Eventually, Roger couldn't stand it and decided to commit suicide:
"This is the road that his wife ran out on the night of the wedding, and he chased and shouted behind him; it seemed to be hundreds of years ago. It was another night of the month, and there were black islands floating on the sea outside the mountains, mountains on the islands, the sea outside the mountains, and the mountains overseas. On the sea, on the rocks, on the leaves, there was a whimpering flute-like glow everywhere; Roger only felt where he went, where it was dark. “
This cold moonlight made him feel like a world away, and he suddenly encountered "the desolation of the ancients", "the vast peace and silence", and finally died.
In "Love in the Fallen City", a woman named "White Tassel" tries her best to catch a "golden turtle son-in-law" in the dissolved moonlight to win happiness for herself, and in the end, the fall of Hong Kong has fulfilled her.
Under the moonlight, she knew that she was beautiful: "That delicate silhouette, eyebrows and eyes, beautiful beyond reason, beautiful insignificant." “
But the other party is a master of wandering the love field, that is, not hooked. Afterwards, he couldn't help but tickle her, and asked on the phone: "Tassel, can you see the moon in your window?" She did not dare to answer, "The moon in the tearful eyes is large and blurry, silver, with green edges", she suspected that it was a dream.
Instead of a dream, she stumbled on a leather shoe on the floor and almost fell. Someone was eating and laughing in bed: "Don't be scared, it's my shoes." "I've always wanted to see the moon from your window, and I can see it more clearly here than in the house."
Sure enough, he loved her, but he loved her but that way, and this poisonous person didn't want to talk about marriage. She couldn't help but chill and walked to the dresser: "The moon at the end of November is just a hook of white, like a frost flower on a glass window." However, after all, the sea is a bit moonlit, and when it is reflected in the window, the thin light illuminates the mirror. ”
If it wasn't for the war, her dream of "spending a good full moon" might never come, and all this man could give her was this curved moon at the end of the moon.
Once, he told her about the desolation of the earth: "One day, our civilization will be completely destroyed, and everything will be finished--burned, blown up, collapsed, maybe this wall will be left." 」 Tassels, if we had met under the roots of this wall at that time... Fringe, maybe you'll have a little sincerity to me, maybe I'll have a little sincerity to you. ”
Eventually, the wall, the gray brick wall, after being bombarded by artillery fire, still stood there, shining silver in the moonlight. And the two worldly men and women who were good at calculation, at that moment, saw each other transparently and transparently, and the complete understanding of that moment alone was enough for them to live together harmoniously for ten years and eight years.
Of course, the most famous and sad moon appears at the beginning of "The Golden Lock":
"Thirty years ago in Shanghai, one night with the moon... We may not have caught up to see the moon thirty years ago. The young man thought that the thirty-year-old moon should be a red and yellow wet halo the size of a copper coin, like a teardrop on the letterhead of Duo Yunxuan, old and confused. The moon of thirty years ago recalled by the elderly was joyful, larger, rounder, and whiter than the moon in front of him; but looking back at the hard road of thirty years, even the best moon color could not help but be a little desolate. ”
Zhang Ailing, who wrote this text, is only twenty-two years old. In the present, it is the age of just walking out of the university door.
But since she was born, the decline of the old Li family, the Huang family, and the Zhang family that she has seen and experienced has allowed her to see through the vicissitudes of the world prematurely and grow old early.
She can't help but grow old.
"My stepmother also smoked opium. Soon after we got married, we moved to an old bungalow in the style of a minchu, which was our own property. That's where I was born. There are too many memories of our home in the house, like overlapping and overlapping photocopies, and the whole air is a bit blurry. Where there is the sun, people are sleepy, and where there is darkness, there is the coolness of an ancient tomb. “
Later, she was imprisoned by her father in an empty room because of her mother and grandson, no one spoke, and she watched the pale blue sky and blue moonlight all day and all night.
"My father threatened to beat me to death with his hands. The house in which I was born suddenly became strange, like the moonlight, the dark shadow of the blue and white pink wall, one-sided, crazy. Beverley Nichols has a poem about the madman's half-lightness: The moonlight sleeps in your heart. When I read it, I think of the blue moonlight on the floor of our house, the quiet killing machine. ”
Later, she said of this past, not without sadness: "In a few weeks, I have been old for many years. “
She also had a brief moment of joy, when "whispering in the middle of the night, the moon set like a golden basin".
The man with the lotus tongue looked at her face under the lamp, and he said that her face was like a full flower, and like a round moon.
She looked at him with such unreserved happiness, and her eyes were full of smiles.
She thought that the man in front of her, like the moonlight in his water town, was natural and natural, but unexpectedly, he saw that the flowers were flowers, the water was water, and when he saw the moonlight of the eaves, he had no thoughts, and he boasted that he was clean to people and things to the point of affection and rationality.
In "This Life and This Life", he cleverly speaks and justifies his flower heart and thin feelings. Saying that he and she are friends with her is almost not a child's private affair. He regarded himself as an immortal, treating the pain of others' bones, the nightmare that would not linger, as the bright moonlight in front of the window, and he was complacent, and he was proud of the reunion under the moon of this man and woman.
She woke up to the fact that this obsession was, in the final analysis, the disaster caused by the moon. She later confessed honestly in "Little Reunion": "This night, under the moon, I bought crab shell yellow, wearing a tight purple flower cloth short cheongsam, a straight willow body, and half-mane long hair." The Shandong people at the baked cake stall couldn't help but look at her twice, and they couldn't figure out what the road number was. When the moon came home, she couldn't help but feel a pang of emptiness. Twenty-two years old, writing love stories, but never in love, giving people a bad idea. “
She was in love, but she was walking under the moon, suddenly moved, wanted to fall in love, and had little to do with this man.
The moon is round and missing, missing and round. On a Mid-Autumn Festival night, news of her death came from across the ocean. I stood in the middle of the crowd, looked up at the full moon hanging in the sky, and my intestines were churning up.
Today, the moon of thirty years ago has long since sunk, and the people of thirty years ago have died. But she said that the story of thirty years ago wasn't over—it couldn't be finished.
Licorice seeds: not petty bourgeoisie, not literary, not charming, not style, idyllic and self-guarding, sex like grass and trees.